why
even days i do things right i end up a depressed, anxious mess at night.
every
single
night
i probably should get some kind of therapy but i cant afford it - especially not now
and i feel like im dragging others down with me
i even did everything right today - i did chores and got gifts and went out all by myself
but as soon as it hit 9pm i just
my mood sunk so hard it feels like ive been depressed all day
its about the same thing
every
single
time
i get so jealous
i get so angry
i see people mistreat their parents
treat them coldly without a reason
just because they can
and i get jealous
and i get angry

and i feel guilty
i feel guilty for liking people's parents better than they like their own
then they feel like im always taking their parents side instead


i guess
i am just lonely
and forgot what that felt like.


i want out