https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-5GB9erjgg

I was listening to the chili peppers today and this song just really made me sad, I don't get to see my dad as much since my parents divorce it still doesn't feel real, after a year, I just can't unwind, I'm still defensive, I knew he cared then and know it now and he's been exiled and excommunicated my sister doesn't want to be in touch... I don't want to blab about my personal life, I just do what I can to keep composure, always have always will.
aside from that I have guilt, I should have spoke my mind even though it hurt, I should be more present for my family, both sides, I have missed birth marriages and death, and I wasn't there for them.

for work.
No chances taken.
I want to go back to California.