I like the story and the plot, but maybe you could work a bit more on your sentence structure. Rewording them just a bit would help immensely.

Whatcha mean?

Look at your last paragraph. Each sentence has 1 or 2 subjects max, all along the same pattern. Essentially it's subject verb blablabla. Subject verb blablabla. And so forth. You could change the last paragraph to something more like:

Thinking how his clothes were starting to smell like dragon BO, Lee headed downstairs to his bedroom, taking human shape before throwing the smelly garments in the laundry. All along, a wicked grin was splayed across his face. He thought of Coke, of Mr. Holland, of having a dragon for teacher, and of Skyler. "Tomorrow, I'll give Skyler a big surprise!" he thought, wondering if he could coax Mr. Hollanbd to get him more Coke to share with his friends...

Now I don't want to be a prick or anything, and I'm not meaning you should change your text to make it look like this. I just mean your story could be so much more!

Oh. I plan to do all that sorta stuff when I rewrite it. Only thing I can't figure out is whether I wanna "dumb" it down and make it more of a 8-9 year-old's series (something like the "Magic Tree House" series as an example), or write it with bigger words 'n such and have it be more like "The Hobbit" or something to that degree. Either way is fine and both will be much better written, but I can't figure out which way I want to go with it.

Alternate?

Don't think that would work too well. I kinda want to see if I can get it published as one or the other.

I was sarcastic. You could rewrite in both ways, but that might be a lot of work. Honestly, I think you'd have a bigger clientèle if you'd rewrite it Tolkien style.

Thanks for your input. You're probably the first person ever to be able to give me an answer. Honestly I could probably do both since making it better for kids wouldn't be...that hard. And it'd be like the Pirates of the Caribbean series, the teen/adult-rated movies/books, and the cartoony kid-friendly versions. Eh I dunno. Probably have to worry about crossing that bridge when I come to it.

BTW, I'm curious. Are you an "official" writer, or do you just want to do a one-time publication?
Also, how do you publish this kind of work? I'm not sure what the public opinion is about TF and stuff (furfag). I'm also asking cuz I have a story of my own, but, you know...

Wouldn't know what 'official' would mean actually. I mean, TND would be my premier work, but I'd like to see of Origin of Anthro might have a following in the public eye. I have no idea how to get something published. Maybe get a newspaper to print something for you and pray a publisher sees it. And I hate to compare TF to something I really despise, but I'd think it'd be something like all the superhero fandom, most people don't wanna admit it publically, but they wouldn't mind living as a different species for a time. The same as people don't go out and yell "I WANNA BE SUPERMAN" off of mountaintops XD.

Weird story! I mean, you become a dragon. Okay. But you still go to school? A costume? Thats too much illogic! I mean, tf into dragon is illogic but aanyway you understand what I mean... It. really look like a schooly written production with base tense (is that exist in English?). You need to learn how to write like a writer. You also need to get yourself a style. I mean, everybody got naturally a personnal style, but you need to develop it more.
I'm gonna write a dragon TF-related modern story for uploading which I'm gonna write fully in English ( I mean writing the story in English at the start, speak french, no joke please) someday this year when I will get some time to do it. Anyway, good start. Even very good!
P.S 13 Chapters! You wrote a big one! Not enough time to read them all, at least for the moment! Sjit gotta go!

Even though this is literally a decade ago, I find old stories to be a blast from the past. it's something I can get behind, although in my head I can figure out what to place the word in my head to let me understand what's going on.