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Also write fun story for which this picture is something like the illustration:

“You’re sure about this?” The question was a taut as the bowstring Galkrim plucked as he watched Callum work.

“Yes,” the baker said for the umpteenth time. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! Now shut up so I can concentrate.” He was in the process of fusing one of Galkrim’s magical arrows with one of his pastries. The intent was to see what kind of power they could pack into the confection and what sort of impact they’d have on the consumer’s body. Callum was happy to play the ginuea pig for his own experiments, but Galkrim insisted on joining in out of loyalty. Callum was beginning to loathe the purple lizard’s sense of duty.

Galkrim grumbled, watching over Callum’s shoulder like a vulture. “Those arrows, b-be careful with them…they’re super powerful and Tyrex just upgraded them. I-I could take an elephant off its feet with one sh-OOMPH!”

Callum had grabbed a nearby cupcake and shoved it into Galkrim’s muzzle, effectively silencing the rambling lizard. “I said shut up. It’s almost done and if you make one more sound other than chewing that cupcake, I’m gonna stick an arrow up your nose.” Galkrim quieted down.

“Good,” Callum said, before turning back to the assembly of ingredients and weapons. A bundle of crackling, purple arrows lay beside piles of dough. He’d taken one of the arrows and skewered several dough balls onto it. Each one was slowly cooking on the arrow’s charge and soaking up the volatile magics within. Before long, they’d have some brand new, supercharged pastries to enjoy. Callum’s belly rumbled at the thought. He’d slimmed down a lot just for the experiment, and the hunger was eating at his nerves, adding to his distemperment. “Not long now,” he mumbled as Galkrim watched with full cheeks. “Couple more tweaks aaaaaand we...are…done!”

***10 Minutes Later***

“I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!” Galkrim bellowed, causing his figure to jiggle imperiously. He sat in a pile of splintered wood, pastry crumbs, tattered clothes, and broken arrows. Resting atop all the carnage was the lizard himself, with a gut that bulged many feet outward and sagged atop his stubby legs. He could feel debris digging into his butt, which was now bare as his shorts had no way to contain the excess of blubber that slipped into his rump. The only sharp part about the colossal lizard was his gaze as he berated Callum. “I told you mixing weapons and pastries wouldn’t work.”

Callum rolled his eyes. “Shut it, lizard.” The baker could feel his gut squishing against Galkrim’s, pooling into an oblong sphere of flab that heaved as he struggled to remain upright. Though the lizard had the right of it, Callum would never admit he’d let things get out of hand. “Your yammering didn’t help before, and it sure as hell won’t now.”

“You’re blaming me?!” Galkrim quaked with rage.

Callum paused, his fingers sifting through the soupy pudge along his sides. It was warm and reassuring. “No…” he admitted, “This…this was on me.” He slapped his gut and managed a smile. “Well technically it’s all over us.” Galkrim growled. Callum continued quickly, “I’m just saying pointing fingers won’t help. Not when we’re the size of baby elephants.”

Galkrim calmed a bit. The skeleton patterns on his arms quivered as he drummed his chest thoughtfully. “Well what are we gonna do, doughball? This is all your territory now,” he shook his expansive chest, “My expertise stops with the weapons.”

That much was true. Callum looked over them both and then at the wreckage. He reimagined the incident before their expansion; how he’d devoured the supercharged pastries, the taste reminiscent of when lightning struck nearby—a metallic and energizing sensation. It was almost euphoric, as innocent traces of vanilla and cinnamon in the dough crackled on their tongues and hissed with energy. Upon swallowing the new confection, Callum’d felt his pupils contract to pinpricks and a shudder wrack his body. Across from him, Galkrim had a similar hyper-charged look about him. They’d felt reinvigorated, pure plasma running through their veins.

Callum remembered he’d been saying, “See? It’s incredible. Nothing to worry abo-” BWOOMPH.

The baker reeled back as his belly surged forward like popcorn bursting from its shell. It was instantaneous: his stomach bursting through his clothes in the blink of an eye, completely taut for a second, before it surged downward as doughy lard filled him. There was no warning, just an instantaneous explosion of blubber and scales. He groaned as Galkrim slammed into him—the lizard just as supple and bare-bellied—before they slumped to the ground together. Every part of them jiggled with fresh flab, and the room exploded in a cacophony of destruction as their stomachs expanded outwards and crushed anything nearby in their wake. Then the world went purple.

All that, Callum remembered, took place in less than a moment. The purple light had faded eventually and now he awoke, belly-to-belly, with a pissed off lizard the size of a battering ram.

“That was insane,” the baker concluded, wagging his thick tail excitedly.

Galkrim cocked his head. “You have a weird definition of exciting.”

“C’mon, you ever experience expansion like that? Or any physical change like it for that matter?”

The lizard shook his head, one paw stroking his chin rolls idly. “I suppose not. I mean my inflation arrows induce rapid swelling, but it’s not that fast.”

Callum nodded, his cheeks jiggling against the tire of flab encompassing his neck. “Lightning lard,” he chuckled. “And that sensation you felt just before expansion…”

“It was like being in the path of a storm.” Galkrim grinned despite himself. “And your adrenaline kicks up.”

“You can taste the ozone,” Callum continued. He pressed his paws into his sides, making pliant amounts of fat bulge under his moobs as he reveled in the sensation. “Apparently it’s chock full of calories.”

“Who knew?” Galkrim said, beginning to laugh despite his annoyance. “And of course your blubbery ass would make that revelation.”

Callum cocked an eyebrow. “And of course your weapons resulted in the dramatic expansion.”

“Touché.” Galkrim sighed, feeling his midriff bundle up to the baker’s. “You gonna make these things again?”

“Hell yes,” Callum laughed. “If not for the rush, then just to see who else will go ‘bwoomph.’” He puffed up his cheeks to mimic the effect.

“I could enjoy seeing a couple others enjoy one of these.” Galkrim envisioned a certain shark and smiled evilly.

“If I sell them, it would have to be with a disclaimer of course.” Callum nodded to where pieces of his bakery and Galkrim’s weapons poked into his overhang. “Get some insurance for damage, provide a warning of their shock value, that kind of thing.”

Galkrim suddenly slumped forward, sprawling himself against his companion’s midriff and smirking. “Or you could just tattoo ‘Walking Health Hazard’ to your gut and save us all some trouble.”

“That would ruin the fun.” Callum replied tersely. “I like a little mystery in my food, keeps the customers guessing.”

“Uh huh.” The purple mound of a lizard squeezed his friend’s side rolls in his claws, grinning widely. “Whatever you say.”

Callum eyed his rotund friend. “Glad to hear it…you all right?”

Galkrim continued smiling with uncharacteristic glee. “I’m wonderful!” He held up the broken arrow he’d snagged when he fell forward. There was no telling what it could do. “You on the other hand,” he drove the arrow into Callum’s belly folds vengefully, making the baker yelp. “Well I’m just adding a little mystery to your life.”

Callum belongs to and Galkrim belongs to
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Art by me.