Animation vent I made that lead to this drawing: http://sta.sh/0ljbhpnv89

So yesterday, I came across something.

And it made me feel a lot of things, and think a lot of things, about myself.
And then I realized, that's what THOSE people think of me, but not how I think of myself.
I didn't like that what they said was completely changing how I thought and felt of myself, and then... I finally just, let it go. I don't want to be defined by what others think, I am a people pleaser but there are some people you just cannot please, and I have learned that.

I know I made mistakes in the past, I know I have done and said things that I shouldn't have, and I regret it. There was something I was regretting for 10-11 months and I thought now maybe I could patch it up and, I don't know, make it better.
But sometimes, apologies won't work, and that's just how it is. I realize I won't be able to change how some people may think of me, and that's okay, because how I think of myself is more important. In the end you're all you have after all, you're stuck with you.

I know I made bad choices and hurt people, luckily I was able to keep the amazing amazing friends I have and have made the new ones I have made recently. There was one friendship I was hoping to patch up with but... I understand I won't be able to make up for what I said and did, and that's life.
I really am sorry though, I should not have said what I had said and I should not have let the circumstances cloud my judgement. I'm sorry how badly it hurt you, since that day everything went to shit I had felt guilty and regretful, I messed up. I hope you did actually manage to feel okay now, I felt really bad that I had hurt you, and saw how much it hurt you. I'm sorry I did nothing to help, I was lost and confused but now I've found myself again.
I just want to say, I'm happy for you, that things are going well for you and that what I did no longer holds you back, it... gave me closure, it taught me a lesson, and now I finally get to let it go after almost a year.
I hope you have a good life. <3

And that's just one person this is towards, there's... 4 others. 4 others that I have hurt and don't have in my life anymore (one is not that case, though, one of them is a person I grew up with and I wish I hadn't but that's also life.)

My thoughts probably sound jumbled but it's so nice to get this out and to finally move on and make steps to healing.

TDLR: I have made mistakes in the past, some I was able to amend and others I wasn't able to. Some people probably see me in a shitty light because of it but that's okay, life goes on and I'll just keep on growing and learning. I'm not gonna let my past define me in a negative way, or the thoughts of others define me anymore as well; I define myself.

I do admit I have issues, but I am definitely learning. I am taking the steps to growing and healing and becoming a better person.

I feel happy now, I feel loved.
I feel good.

<3

Art/Animation/Otis© CrownedVictory

No names or anything, this is supposed to be anonymous and all that. Anything of the sort will be hidden.