Looks like next chapter is going to be a big 'Holy shit, man!' moment.

And a quick update, too, very nice.

Thanks :P I MIGHT have part 3 up later tonight or tomarrow but no promises :)

Nice, good story. A few grammar errors, but otherwise, an excellent read.

Hi Dusty!

A couple things to watch out for in this part. You frequently switch back and forth between present and past tense. I suggest sticking with past tense throughout. It'll be easier to maintain that way. It can be very jarring to the reader to see you flip back and forth like that.

Also, the first time you use something that's abbreviated, spell it out for the readers so they know what you mean in the future. Otherwise, anybody who doesn't have a military background is going to be scratching their head.

Another thing to watch out for (last one for this section), you sometimes use the same word twice in one sentence. For instance: "The large drill was visibly cooling as the metal of its head cooled from almost white hot down towards yellow." I recommend changing "cooled" to "dwindled". It'll sound better. And in the very next sentence, please don't use "then the unexpected happened". They're already facing something that they would never have expected. Everything that's happening at this point is unexpected, so it just feels clunky to say it.

I really did love the idea of this huge drill bit coming up through the earth like that. And the liquid nitrogen to cool it was a good touch. You've got a nice air of suspense, and I imagine a lot of these soldiers are going to have their fingers on their triggers.

Dominus tecum

Thanks for the pointers. Now get on AIM so I can give you your music xD

*chuckles* I'll be on in about an hour.

Dominus tecum