....Yeah, this is pretty much how I feel about 90% of the time.

It is no fun. >:/

No, it isn't. Best thing to do is just try to push through it, and hope that everything will work out in the end.

Sometimes that's all you can do. And that's what I'm doing... the plus side is I've got a lot of support from loved ones, and that's what makes the difference. I've just got to keep at it.

Awww Dorey. *hugs you tight* You have mates, family and friends who love you - always remember we're there to catch you if you fall and help you back up. You're a brilliant mind and a kind heart; something will turn up so long as you keep looking.

That's what's keeping me going. :) I've got the best emotional support anyone could ask for. It'll turn out okay and sort itself out, and in the meantime art's a helpful way for me to be able to get some of the feelings out. *hugs tight*

Mmm - that's a good point; art is at least a means of venting, and one that not everyone has.

It doesn't make the problem go away, but I have found it to help. If nothing else it's another way to scream in frustration when one needs to. :}

No sad draggy :/
*huggs tight*

*smiles and hugs back* I'm getting by. :) Things will turn out okay, I just need to vent these feelings into art now and then. It does help.

Aw love. Welcome to my world I guess. :c I wish I could kick you out of it.
And, faith Doran. *touches foreheads* faith. You're depicting part of the reasons why I exert the flavor of faith I do. All my thoughts and prayers of courage and peace are with you dear. I wish I could say more than knowing that you'll make it; I know you'll make it through and your family too, it's just the hard part of descending into the dark and walking that dark pain and fear and what-if all the time. I wish I could be there with you. You are built and formed to walk those hard times though, and want to be there as you start to come back out.
God loves you, I love you, you know many more do too. Intermittent faults are okay. You're okay and right to be angry or frustrated. Just don't let it consume you. I am consequences of what happens when you let this kinda thing consume you, so take a break, vent, cry, pray when you need to okay?
*hot tender sweet honeydew smooches, been eating fruit, makes you sweeten up too with sweet licks* Be good my dear friend. <3

*wags, hugs tightly* Thank you, dear. :) Yeah, I know it'll turn out okay, and between friends and loves I've got the best support anyone could ask for. I'm coping, things will turn out okay, there are just still these moments or days where it can get feeling hopeless and overwhelming. But I keep going, and I'll make it through. I can have a really hard time expressing my emotions by talking to people directly, even loves, so being able to channel those feelings into art as a way to express how I'm feeling can be really helpful. And I suppose being able to share it like this too gives others a chance to relate... I think one of the deep truths of life that you realise as you age is that almost everybody feels like this now and then, way more than most other people realise. We all struggle with self-doubt and anxiety to a degree, and recognising this can help us connect and support each other.

Oh! Maybe i can help you! But this is going to have to be a you-choose-the-high-difficult-road thing okay? I have detected from time to time intermittent faults in me too, and they're always ALWAYS preceded by a slight but instant feelable shift in my head, or mind. Or maybe spirit/soul sometimes. Usually those happen like at 10:30pm, or when I go to my bed to sleep finally... the cool thing is it's not me. I'm not (always) mentally self-injuring and then the fault begins-- usually it's the fault begins, something snaps in my head, and then the temptation is to mentally self-injure/assorted other behaviors so I can deal with it! I know you don't mentally self-injure, but you are starting to mentally worry-panic. If you can teach yourself to detect when the intermittent fault is juuuust starting, you can try to RUSH to one of your loves, or do an alternative behavior, or some activity (like super sekrit office nuzzling pawprint wrapping paper?) so that you don't worry and fret so hard. It's hard for me because it's partly a moral thing to me. It might or might not be so to you. But try to detect when the switch flips, and you will feel it in your head, or consciousness-- you hafta RUSH RUSH RUSH to remember or do something love-related!

This is why when I'm in fights/hard days at work/worried about money and job/parental screaming, I think of you so very much. You, ottergal, Blitzroo and others occupy so much of my day and night and waking because of this. <3 I love you, tell me how it goes, or if I'm close at all to understanding if this is what goes on in your head ok? Goodnight-- or good morning! c: *smooch*

That's a really good thought. :) Probably a matter of finding what works best for any given person, but yeah.... if I can find something to cling to, something to latch on to as a source of comfort and stability when I know I'm starting to spaz out, maybe that can head it off. Or when there's a love around just rush to them and say 'I need a hug right now.' Tesla has certainly gotten hugs and pets and scritches many times over the past few months when I found myself in desperate need of fluffy puppy therapy.

There's certainly a degree of self doubt that goes into all this, but yeah, I don't think there's really any mental self harm or anything going on. A lot of it is frustration at external forces. And it can be the sort of thing where I'm getting by just fine, but then my crappy borrowed work computer will do something stupid and not work, or somebody will email me something really unhelpful at the wrong moment, and I just start shaking and realise how thin that veneer of 'feeling okay' actually is at times. But something to latch on to and anchor myself to during those times could help get me back on track. Needa put a few more family photos/Tesla photos/happy arts on my phone...

Thank you dear. :) *squeeze*

Okay, I'm glad to hear all this. Just be wary, self-harm can be sometimes unintended, and just exposure to repeated stress and moments of AIEEEE will start to harm you, it's kinda cumulative.
*so totally has a lazy moment with and chills with.* :>

Yeah, that's been one of the anxieties over the past few months. :} Bitterness and resentment and persistent stress and frustration are all things that feel decidedly un-Dorish. These are not feelings I want to be part of who I am, and when I keep feeling them over such a long period I worry what it's doing to me. So that's been an added incentive to try and look after myself that much more. Not only do I want to shed these feelings and be a happy Dorey again, I don't want to stay mired in blarg for so long that it starts changing the fundamental core programming of the Dorey. Because I like who I am and I want to preserve the good bits of that.

*blanketnests with*

*living room tents, and confesses affectionate things and other things he's told no one else, and opens up all night talking, and wakes the next day hand in hand*

So sweet <3