This diagram was sparked by some stuff that's happened recently. It's not directed at any one individual even though I know somebody's going to get butthurt over this.

I've seen this happen time and time again- small social gatherings get ruined by rather unscrupulous characters as the event grows in size.

In the picture, there are many "bathroom sign guys" connected by red and blue lines. The red lines indicate a friendship, i.e. person A and person B know each other and are generally Cool Dudes. A blue line with an arrow indicates an invitation to join the event, i.e. person A invites person B. People are are invited may also bring some friends with them, but I didn't fill in those blue lines since I figured it was kind of unnecessary.

Now for some details about the instructions:

Step 1: Establish a small meetup with a consistent meeting time and place

Maybe it's a bowling outing, or a couple of buddies go to a restaurant to eat/chill. Whatever happens, it's usually a small group, and everyone more or less knows each other.

Step 2: Provide an open invitation and popularize by word of mouth

Don't explicitly bar anyone from joining, but don't openly advertise the event. Maybe mention it on a website or something. In other words, it's not Fight Club.

Step 3: Watch as animosity grows between cliques within attendance

It's inevitable that at some point, there will be so many people there that the group breaks into smaller sub-groups. A nerdy group, an artsy group, elitist whores, whatever. And then there will eventually be a pair of people that don't like each other.

You know your event is at this point when you have to remind people how to act in public. Again, this isn't directed at anybody local, it's just something I've noticed in multiple groups.

Step 4: Dissolve event entirely as it is no longer enjoyable for original organizers

There should be a Step 3½ in there that says "Enforce conditions/restrictions". For example, you might try to enact something like "one drink minimum purchase" at a restaurant, or "BYOB" at a house party, or maybe "cover charge required" for other events. It might work, it might not.

If enforcing new rules doesn't start to curb the bad behavior at events and shoo off some of the people that are ruining it, the event may just disappear altogether, and snarky people will comment about "why we can't have nice things."

Conclusion

No one group is to blame. The organizers could have made it an exclusive event. The invitees could have behaved themselves better to begin with. The organizers could have curbed the behavior when it started. The invitees could have wised up or stopped coming. It's just what happens when groups are left to grow on their own.

Has something like this ever happened to you or your event? Comment here and share your story!