well as much as i'm all for affection, my emotional security is not dependent on them,
nor the crazy illogical life either, i guess i'm just not entirely human to entirely understand,
why some people are.

i mean i know phsyc says we're all supposed to be, but i just find the things i AM interested in,
trees, trains, computers and little furry creatures, creating and exploring,
they give me the gratificaiton without the annoyance that people too often do.

its not that i wish to push people away, that's up to them, mostly,
unless they're obviously intending to be annoying, then i do.

it probably has to do with life experience,
and the happiest times in mine have always been when i've been alone.

i only feel that i miss people when there are people making me feel that way.
and that's not by being annoying.

humans i can take or leave alone basically, as long as they're reasonable.
those who insist on not being, the less i have to deal with them the better.

money and excitement are just as boring to me too.
money, if it isn't being used for being creative, that is a total waste of it too,
unless its to help someone else out, or something like that,

and sports, combat, conflict, the same problem, they just gratify nothing for me,
nor do mind altering substances of any kind.

excitement or accumulation, they're like ok for about 5 minuets, then nothing.

but if i can be making or even just thinking about making/creating something that interests me
or learning or figuring out how to, then that's what gratifies me, what makes me feel good.

Insightful. I draw this bunny as all messed up. Friendship and love make life worth living. Not having as many friends as I once did is a drag, although I am used to solitude. Money is a means to an end, no more, which may help explain why I have so little of it. I want the commodity and not the exchange.
Billy is only a distant reflection of myself.