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Stiffened Waterway - a Get Well Thursday Prompt for Marm
*smiles... humor...
V.
V.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 111 x 120px
File Size 173.7 kB
Ow ow ow ow....
Speaking of playing with doctors...
For some reason I developed a severe ear ache after driving back over a mountain pass.
I went to my GP to "fix that." He looked and said, "Lot of wax here, we can fix that."
So He's flushing my ear with warm water and a turkey baster. I started laughing.
He was a little confused, most patients cringe and pull away when he does that.
So he asked me what was so funny.
"Well Doc, I've had a lot of people accuse me of being a shit head, you're the first to give me an enema for that."
PS, Get Well Marm.
Bunners
Speaking of playing with doctors...
For some reason I developed a severe ear ache after driving back over a mountain pass.
I went to my GP to "fix that." He looked and said, "Lot of wax here, we can fix that."
So He's flushing my ear with warm water and a turkey baster. I started laughing.
He was a little confused, most patients cringe and pull away when he does that.
So he asked me what was so funny.
"Well Doc, I've had a lot of people accuse me of being a shit head, you're the first to give me an enema for that."
PS, Get Well Marm.
Bunners
Brilliant! I feel better already. Excellent use of the Thursday Prompt...
For some odd reason, this has been running through my head of late...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfHCxIiZ_4M
For some odd reason, this has been running through my head of late...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfHCxIiZ_4M
Then there's THIS, a song I wrote for the Runs With Stick story:
And now, a song as told to me by Mac and Roger. From the turmoil in Thaikong and the relationships, such as they were with the lovers they left behind. Interestingly enough, the original version with lyrics, never got any air time. But an instrumental version made it to the top of the charts.
You stole my heart but it still hurts to pee.
Does this look infected to you?
You met someone else and cheated on me.
Does this look infected to you?
You gave me something no one else could.
Now I'm the talk of the neighborhood.
I get shots at the clinic just like I should.
Does this look infected to you.
We promised to love, honor and trust.
Does this look infected to you?
But over the years you went elsewhere for lust.
Does this look infected to you?
My balls are covered in genital warts.
There's some sort of discharge that comes out in quarts.
It looks like I'm headed off to the courts.
Does this look infected to you.
When you told me you wanted to try something new.
Does this look infected to you?
I figured some how it included me too.
Does this look infected to you?
You gave it away and now I must pay.
But ever dog has his or her day.
You know now what I must say.
Does this look infected to you?
The times you told me you were at the gym.
Does this look infected to you?
You were really fooling around with him.
Does this look infected to you?
Here's something that hasn't occurred to you.
Go to the clinic, you need shots too.
And maybe a tube of medical goo.
Does this look infected to you?
And now, a song as told to me by Mac and Roger. From the turmoil in Thaikong and the relationships, such as they were with the lovers they left behind. Interestingly enough, the original version with lyrics, never got any air time. But an instrumental version made it to the top of the charts.
You stole my heart but it still hurts to pee.
Does this look infected to you?
You met someone else and cheated on me.
Does this look infected to you?
You gave me something no one else could.
Now I'm the talk of the neighborhood.
I get shots at the clinic just like I should.
Does this look infected to you.
We promised to love, honor and trust.
Does this look infected to you?
But over the years you went elsewhere for lust.
Does this look infected to you?
My balls are covered in genital warts.
There's some sort of discharge that comes out in quarts.
It looks like I'm headed off to the courts.
Does this look infected to you.
When you told me you wanted to try something new.
Does this look infected to you?
I figured some how it included me too.
Does this look infected to you?
You gave it away and now I must pay.
But ever dog has his or her day.
You know now what I must say.
Does this look infected to you?
The times you told me you were at the gym.
Does this look infected to you?
You were really fooling around with him.
Does this look infected to you?
Here's something that hasn't occurred to you.
Go to the clinic, you need shots too.
And maybe a tube of medical goo.
Does this look infected to you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jKiunSRzAI
I love my friends and they love me
We're just as close as we can be
And just because we really care
Whatever we get, we share!
I got it from agnes
She got it from jim
We all agree it must have been him
Louise who gave it to him
Now she got it from harry
Who got it from marie
And ev'rybody knows that marie
Got it from me
Giles got it from daphne
She got it from joan
Who picked it up in county cork
A-kissin' the blarney stone
Pierre gave it to shiela
Who must have brought it there
He got it from francois and jacques
Aha, lucky pierre!
Max got it from edith
Who gets it ev'ry spring
She got it from her daddy
Who just gives her ev'rything
She then gave it to daniel
Whose spaniel has it now
Our dentist even got it
And we're still wondering how
But I got it from agnes
Or maybe it was sue
Or millie or billie or gillie or willie
It doesn't matter who
It might have been at the pub
Or at the club, or in the loo
And if you will be my friend, then I might ...
(mind you, I said "might" ...)
Give it to you!
The fellow from Railway Express Agency was trying to deliver a large carton to an office and not having much luck. He'd ring the bell and when someone answered, he'd announce the box and its contents, as listed on the Bill of Lading. All would go silent and he'd have to start again. The Colander Laid Art Paper was abbreviated on the Bill, of course; they'd used an acronym and the driver never knew the full name of the product.
Finally, the delivery man pounded on the door until the office boy finally answered, sticking his head out. "What do you want?" the boy asked.
"It's not what I want," the REA man sighed, "You people ordered it. I've got a case of CLAP, here...
Finally, the delivery man pounded on the door until the office boy finally answered, sticking his head out. "What do you want?" the boy asked.
"It's not what I want," the REA man sighed, "You people ordered it. I've got a case of CLAP, here...
Reminds me of the joke about the guy , having been in a serious accident had his penis replaced with a baby elephant trunk.
He's at dinner with his fiance and her parents.
Suddenly, his penis comes up over the edge of the table, grabs a dinner roll and disappears.
His fiance looks startled then says "Can you do that again?"
He replies "No, I don't have room up my ass for another dinner roll."
Ba-dump tish!
Bunners
He's at dinner with his fiance and her parents.
Suddenly, his penis comes up over the edge of the table, grabs a dinner roll and disappears.
His fiance looks startled then says "Can you do that again?"
He replies "No, I don't have room up my ass for another dinner roll."
Ba-dump tish!
Bunners
I'm reminded of the Ron Goulart story Please Stand By, in which a young man changes into a small elephant on all American national holidays.
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