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An Unbroken Cycle...
I learned something this morning as I woke up.
Its hit me harder than anything else up until now.
All my scars feel like bright beacons again, I can't see past them...I should keep them hidden from my family.
I should have been a better big sister. Seems the cycle has begun again, I now see this from the outside for the first time. When a loved one begins to self harm, its the worst feeling you could ever feel. My brain is so noisy right now, i'm trying to process this carefully but I can't. This is my fault. I was the one who brought self-harm into the house when I was a child, my brothers have seen my wounds and my scars...
This is all my fault...
I passed on my fucked up mental health...
This is the worst feeling...
I can't process this...I feel faint and like I want to curl up and cry....but I can't.
Its hit me harder than anything else up until now.
All my scars feel like bright beacons again, I can't see past them...I should keep them hidden from my family.
I should have been a better big sister. Seems the cycle has begun again, I now see this from the outside for the first time. When a loved one begins to self harm, its the worst feeling you could ever feel. My brain is so noisy right now, i'm trying to process this carefully but I can't. This is my fault. I was the one who brought self-harm into the house when I was a child, my brothers have seen my wounds and my scars...
This is all my fault...
I passed on my fucked up mental health...
This is the worst feeling...
I can't process this...I feel faint and like I want to curl up and cry....but I can't.
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File Size 84.8 kB
- Looks at you and shakes you -
First of all, This. IS. not. Your. Fault.
People choose self harm on their own not because they saw someone else doing it.
You cannot. CANNOT blame yourself for this. Ever. Stop now.
You are not to blame.
YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME
Okay.
Dont take it to heart as hard as it is.
These are issues she needs you to be strong and help her work out, and you can. You can because you've been through it.
First of all, This. IS. not. Your. Fault.
People choose self harm on their own not because they saw someone else doing it.
You cannot. CANNOT blame yourself for this. Ever. Stop now.
You are not to blame.
YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME
Okay.
Dont take it to heart as hard as it is.
These are issues she needs you to be strong and help her work out, and you can. You can because you've been through it.
Thanks. It was just a huge fucking shock. Plus it being my younger brother really got to me hard. My mum is handling it well and the school is keeping an eye on him should he need help. He's such a bright kid, a lot brighter than me. He has great potential, I just hope we can get him through this.
My mum is also telling him that I stopped self harming, that i'm happier now. So I guess thats good. I gotta keep straight for my little brother now and resist that urge further. (Its a bad impulse.)
Soon as I go home, i'm giving that stinker a huge lion hug.
My mum is also telling him that I stopped self harming, that i'm happier now. So I guess thats good. I gotta keep straight for my little brother now and resist that urge further. (Its a bad impulse.)
Soon as I go home, i'm giving that stinker a huge lion hug.
Kumori already said what I was going to say. It's not your fault. It never was. Your brother is lucky to have a caring sibling such as you. It's completely understandable that you feel shocked, devastated even. I would, too (luckily, no one in my family knows about my self-harm...I think). It's wonderful that you want to be there for him, and I sure hope that both of you will feel better soon.
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