And it's even better than the original draft! =3

Griggle, your talents knows no bounds. :)


*ChaosCat/Ottar*

Pretty good sofar Can
t wait to read more :3

Pretty neat :) "Tank for Christmas"

Love that.

*chuckles and beeps your nose* Very....intresting. Please, Id like to see where this goes.

I gotta say, it's been a while since I've read a story like this, but I know what I like from stories like this. And this, I like. You only had three real characters given focus (not counting the receptionist) and even if the husky's lines were limited, you gave him a real degree of personality. That said, I just gotta say I LOVE the last two bits.. I'm gonna have to remember that tank line ;p

He can draw AND write? Someone needs to shoot this dude before he decides to try out world domination of something. :P

I'm...being used.

NOPE STILL HAPPY! :D

Very nice, you have a gift for dialogue. Keep up the good work!

Griggle's gonna get all big at that gym! This totally opens up the mind to great growth possibilities... That's just plain fun! It's great dialogue. Careful not to make the character seem "too" alienated in the future though! There's gotta be folks that like him for who he is! But that'll come in the future gym adventures. :)

It's people like that that make me want to go homiscidal...

If it's possible to rename submissions, I'd change this one from pt.2 to v.2 to avoid confusion about whether this is a continuation or a revision of "pt.1". Otherwise, great work! I'd love to see where this goes next!

After reading it I lookforward to the rest

Very good! I'd love to see more of this! ^ ^