2,000 Word Commission for  ChubbyGero where his character visits Selph's bathhouse. I'm beyond humbled that everyone wants me to include my silly purple grape panda into their stories!

Art for the thumbnail originally from :icon:ChubbyGero:

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Gero kept checking his right hand to make sure the key was still there. It was completely transparent, and glittered pleasingly to the eye. It also weighted nothing, and so the only assurance he had that it remained in his possession was to keep checking. He felt that it might melt or evaporate against the heat of his skin, it might have, for all he knew. Magical objects were beyond his expertise, the arcane was foreign to him in every sense of the word. He knew his way around code, machines, computer. Spells and wizardry made him mildly uncomfortable.


Which made him question why he willingly let his friend Tom pay him in for a spa-day in a magical dimension, completely divorced from his comfortable, mundane life. The most exciting thing he allowed himself to enjoy was the stimulation of an online video-game, and ordinarily that was enough for him. A long talk with a good friend last weekend, however, highlighted the repetitive nature of his life. They brought his dependency on routine to light, and smooth-talked him into taking a vacation somewhere exotic. Gero initially protested, but his knock-backs were worn down by his friend’s insistence. Eventually, it led to the present moment. With the orange-furred monkey holding a magical key, in front of a closed door, ready to embark.


“Here goes nothing,” Gero parroted the famous cliché, and remembered the instructions. Take the key to an empty doorway, where no one is likely to walk through by accident – Gero chose the door to his bathroom. Then knock four times, and wait for the door to open – that part made him nervous. Finally, step through and be greeted by a concierge – he hoped they wouldn’t be unpleasant. He pressed the key to the wooden portal, and knocked once, twice, thrice, four times.


Warm golden light filtered in through the gap beneath the door, and in a split second, the silent atmosphere of his one-bedroom flat was exorcised and the sounds of a festival reigned in its place. Gero’s tail straightened in fright when the door-handle depressed of its own volition, and a feminine voice with a pleasant cadence spoke to him from across the threshold. When the door swung open, a short upright pig with long brown hair and a braided strand hung over his right temple stood to greet him.


“Welcome to the Bathhouse, thank you for choosing our new express travel package. I am legally obliged to tell you that all of our translocation spells, teleportation devices, and portals are sanctioned by the Arcane Traders Union.” The pig bowed his head, but Gero recognised him.


“Keiko… ?”


“… Gero!” Keiko bolted upright, the folds of his silk fuchsia robe shimmering in the lamp-light of what appeared to be a stone-cobbled street behind him.


“You work at this, uhm, this… magic thing?”


“For about six months, you know Tom? He works here too, in the gift shop.”


That made sense. Tom was responsible for paying his fee, and giving him the key. He must have had an employee discount, or received a reward for referring a new customer.


“Well, don’t just stand there. Come through, you’re going to love it through here.” Keiko urged, and reached forward to pull on Gero’s hand. The door swung shut behind them, and Gero turned to watch it fizzle into non-existence like hot butter melting in a pan. The space where the doorway had been was completely blank, his new line of sight occupied by a monkey of a similar build to him dispensing drinks from a stall.


“Where are we exactly?” Gero asked.


“The bathhouse!” Keiko responded.


“Okay, but, where?”


“Um. Here!”


“You don’t actually know where we are, do you?”


“… it’s um, in something called- the boss called it the Ethereal Ocean.”


“So, this whole place, it’s built on a pier?”


“Something like that, it’s not actually a real ocean.”


Gero stopped questioning his friend. He rubbed his eyes, and took a moment to acclimatise. The ‘Bathhouse’ felt more like a resort village. It had beautiful lacquer buildings, some with open roofs and hot steam pouring out of their tops. He could smell the charcoal of barbecued meat, tickling his nose and whetting his appetite. When he turned to Keiko, his stomach spoke first.


“Oh, are you hungry? My boss told me to be your guide, he’ll come and greet you once you’re in the baths.”


“Yeah uh, how about something grilled?”


Keiko led him across the way, to a stall staffed by a tall hunch-backed dragon. His long beak-like snout peaking beneath his cloth sign to greet his customers. He talked at length about the meat used in his kebabs, and how an animal that Gero had never heard of, was hunted and killed humanely. He brushed the glistening brown meat with a kind of thin red glazing, that turned the heavy meat aroma into a tangling of hot exotic flavours.


“We’ll have two of them. Selph’s paying.” Keiko declared with a smile.


“Big purple’s paying? Make sure you let him know to pay me this time, you know how he forgets things sometimes.” The dragon took two of the wooden-skewers laced with delicious meat and hot red glaze, and offered them to the monkey and the pig. He slapped two new products on the grill, and waved the two on their way.


“Big purple…?”


“Yeah, it’s our nickname for the boss.”


Gero took a bite of his kebab, the exterior had a good bite to it, and the inside was easy to tear through. Sultry juices ran into his mouth, and down his chin. Its taste was addictive. Keiko summarily finished his own kebab, presumably the only thing he had been able to eat since the beginning of his shift.


“Oh boy, that’s uh, that’s got a kick to it huh?” Gero finished, and passed the bare skewer to Keiko who found a nearby bin for them. When the pig returned, Gero was sweating bullets. Hotness rose from his gullet, growing from uncomfortable to unbearable in the place of a second. Whatever was in the glazing affected him differently than it did Keiko, and the latter caught on right away upon seeing his friend’s face turn scarlet.


“Oh gosh, are you okay!? Maybe I should have warned you first… or taken you somewhere else. Um, um! Hang on, the drinks cart, yes. Let’s get you a drink!”


Gero could barely speak with his mouth aflame. They half-sprinted back to the vendors cart near the square. Keiko panic-explained the situation, and how the black-furred monkey would be compensated for his lost stock, but Gero couldn’t wait that long. He was grabbing plastic cups full of neon-blue juice that smelled of raspberry. Chugging them down, until his stomach grew firm, and it sloshed with juice. The heat died down slowly, but he needed more.


“There’s a far more effective way to do that, you know. Here. Let me show you.” A looming shadow drew over Gero. A length of blue tubing, transparent, and filling rapidly with glowing juice, was popped in between his lips. He was about to shout and spit it out, until the cooling relief of the sweet and tart liquid assuaged the heat from the kebab.


“Selph! I mean, Boss! I’m so sorry, I forgot that some of the food here can be a bit much for first-timers.” Keiko apologized to an imposing figure, who was wide and tall as a temple statue. His fur was rich violet, and his face superficially resembled a bear, with jagged tear-drop like panda markings of a darker shade framing supernaturally blue eyes. Rings of white-azure, around the pupils, leered at Gero. Paying almost no attention to the distressed employee or the bamboozled cart owner.


“There’s no need to apologize, Keiko. Mistakes are made. What matters is how we resolve our errors, and I think you have done splendidly.” He moved his hand in a circle, vanishing the hose-pipe from Gero’s mouth. Magic surrounded him, or rather, magic radiated from him. Gero felt light-headed, and didn’t know why. He assumed it was over-exposure to the arcane.


"Woah, I uhh feel kinda dizzy... I'm not one for being drunk" Gero wobbled, until a strong clawed paw caught him. He looked up at Selph, who returned his glance with a capricious smile.


“The Swe’balla juice has that effect on people without the capacity to store magic, it’s a perfectly natural state of compromise. I assure you. Welcome to the bathhouse, my most sincere apologies for not warning you about the food in advance.” Selph had a deep, and flowing tone of voice. It made Gero feel safe, like he could trust in him.


“I uh, how long does it last?”


“A few hours, but a long soak in one of our gorgeous baths should expedite the process. Come, let’s get you warmed up.”


Gero felt himself carefully guided by an apologetic Kief to a nearby palanquin, hoisted up by six robed figures. They moved through the warm streets, until they stopped at a regal looking building with bamboo sheeted doors. Moving inside, his body felt the caress of aromatic steam. A foyer with an attendant gave Keiko a key, and the two of them found an unoccupied private bath. A luxuriant room, far too big for just one person. The bath in the centre was mounted into a square depression, rimmed with blocks of black marble.


Keiko left Gero to disrobe.


He sank into the pleasant waters, sighing involuntarily. They ebbed and caressed his tired muscles, and a fresh citrus scent clung to the moist air.


“How does it compare to the spas back home?”


Gero hadn’t heard him come in, but Selph was sitting on the edge of the marble bathtub. His body covered by a blue drape, his upper body remained uncovered.


Y'know, I wouldn’t really know,” he was too dazed and relaxed to care “I’ve never actually been to one before.”


“Then I suppose I had best give you a good experience to serve as your benchmark.”


Selph placed a bottle, and a glass, gently by Gero.


“A refreshment, I think you rather enjoyed the Swe’balla juice, this is something comparable but a little lighter and not as sharp.”


Gero had a hidden sweet-spot for delicious drinks. His manners melted into the bathwater, and he took the bottle. Guzzling it down. Uncaring to make a good impression on his host. His flushed pink cheeks filled up, and a drizzle of lime-green fell down his chin. The orange-furred monkey’s already logged belly swelled further, until it touched the edge of the bathtub. He kept drinking, determined to funnel every drop of this unending bottle down his bulging throat.


“Oh, my. Thirsty, aren’t we? Then by all means, have another.”


This time, a large squat jug of grape-coloured juice. Gero lifted it with fat arms, and placed the uncorked spout to his lips. His belly sloshed, and wobbled gelatinously to the fathoms of unworldly concoctions he willingly overloaded himself with. It was as if his body lost its natural plasticity, and inflated with all the gusto of a child’s water-balloon lifted to the faucet in preparation for throwing.


“Mm. There’s something I’m forgetting, I’m sure of it…” Selph ruminated, pressing a claw gently into his cheek and swirling it to help him think.


“Another! This place is amazing, I’ve got to thank Tom when I get back!” Gero hiccupped, he felt invincible.


“Oh, you’re Tom’s friend, then you’re from Earth.” Selph provided. Hot pink, carbonated. In a long clear-glass bottle. Gero got to work. He suppressed the urge to belch, sending the gas inwards. It was the last push the monkey balloon needed to become wedged in the pool. Every inch that he stretched out from now on, brought on by the drinks pouring into his greedy face, stretched dangerously over the edge of the marble. Selph got up, and walked towards the door.


“Hiccup! Yeah, Earth, that’s right.” Gero leaned back, cushioned by the wet ballooning mass that used to be his shoulders and back. A peculiar feeling started in his toes, and spread throughout every fibre of his body. It was like the pleasant ache after a hard workout, stretching your muscles. At first. Then it built, and Gero couldn’t stop loosing a hiccup every few seconds.


“Oh dear that’s a problem. Listen, when we cobbled you back together, we’ll throw in a free week stay.”


Gero started to worry. His entire body felt stretched tight, and he kept swelling even in the absence of any more juice. His wobbling body stopped wobbling, and grew taut. He could feel pressure mounting now, and like a kettle, gas started whistling out of ears and nostrils. His eyes went wide, wider still. Unable to twitch a single digit, or move, he felt locked in his own grossly over-inflated body.


“Oof, d-did you say cobbled together?! W-what about those juices?”


“That juice, err- well you see it’s my fault. I’m forgetful sometimes. The Swe’balla juice comes with a warning, that you shouldn’t drink it if you aren’t capable of magic. Instead of giving you a quick boost to your spell-casting faculties, it just gives you gas. Lots, and lots, of gas. More so when you mix it with other drinks.”


Gero vibrated, his eyes almost bulging in shock. He looked like a toy monkey, but pumped carelessly to its limits. With a single, ultimate sound. Gero exploded. His body flew apart into flat, unrecognisable scraps of orange and tan, releasing a flood of rainbow hued juices into the room. They ran under the door, and down the grates. Selph sighed.


“Oh well, that’s just how things work out sometimes with new customers.”