Despite what you may think, I love the title >.>

This was a quick birthday speedwrite for my one true love  bear.net who somehow stays with me despite my constant outbursts at his uselessness in Heroes of the Storm

I hope you all enjoy!

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Zane stuck his tongue outside his muzzle, his chubby black paw shaking the mouse around vigorously while his fingers danced around on the keyboard. A single bead of sweat traveled down the curvature of his cheeks before disappearing somewhere between his second and third chin as he stared unblinkingly at his computer monitor, the bright flashes lighting up his glasses. He was a nerd through and through, sporting the typical archetypes of wearing a campy Darth Vader T-shirt (which had ridden up his prominent gut) to sitting alone in his room playing videogames on a Saturday night. Despite appearing as dorky as possible, the hefty bear-lucario hybrid secretly wished he could somehow become even nerdier for one reason and one reason alone: he was terrible at videogames.

“Oh my God, Zane! Do you even know how to play Tychus?!” Zane’s pointy ears folded back as he heard the angry shouting of his boyfriend the next room over, bracing himself for yet another rant. “You’re supposed to use your goddamned trait on the Warriors, fatass, the freaking Warriors, NOT on Murky! Also where the hell are you even throwing your grenades? I’m getting my ass handed to me by this Valeera and you didn’t once try to bounce her away! I have no CC how in the hell am I supposed to detect her with no AoE abil-Goddammit!!”

The chubby bearcario winced as the sounds of his boyfriend’s death exploded from the speakers, followed swiftly by his own. He knew he wasn’t the best player in Heroes of the Storm, yet every game he played with his (questionably) lovable roommate ended the exact same way: Zane dying early on due to being unaware, Denya following suit due to his (questionable) overreliance on his characters, which ultimately led to their team’s complete and utter destruction. Maybe MOBAs just weren’t for him, seeing as how early deaths can cause a snowball effect which leads to the other team gaining quite an advantage.

Soon, the screen flashed bright red and the word “DEFEAT” plastered itself across his screen in all caps. With a sigh, the chubby bear flicked his headphones off and shut his laptop, not even bothering to log out of the game beforehand. Even as the defeat sign faded from his vision, the feeling of complete helplessness lingered on. It was painful, to say the least, knowing that he couldn’t do anything to help his team no matter how hard he tried. He has had games where others simply assumed Zane was trolling or someone’s 6 year old kid, when really he was trying his darndest to help. It didn’t help much that his roommate and boyfriend, his one true love whom he moved across the country to live with, was the one who was shouting at him the most.

“And speak of the devil,” Zane muttered to himself as he heard said boyfriend shuffle towards his room. Soon the doorway was filled with the pudgy draolf, who was trying his best to force a smile out even if his drooping tail and wings betrayed his true emotions. “Uh, heya. That was some game, amiright?” Denya chuckled awkwardly.

“Yeah, some game,” Zane snorted, shoving his laptop off of his stomach. “I can’t tell what was more fun: being called an idiot for fighting the other team or being called a moron for not fighting.”

“Hey, look, it’s a bit more complicated than that,” Denya tried to counter, although judging from his facial reaction, Zane knew he was feeling just as guilty as he was angry. “I mean,Tychus doesn’t have as much health as, say, our Muradin. You can’t rush out to the front lines like that, you’d get picked off by their Valla in no time.”

“So I’m just terrible then?”

“No, not at… I mean, not terrible.” Denya swore under his breath as he stepped closer to the bed. Trying to smile again, the chubby draolf found a spot on the mattress not occupied by his boyfriend and sat down, leaning into Zane’s soft stomach. “Just… forget what I said, alright? I wanted to talk about something else, actually.”

Zane huffed, watching Denya’s head bob on his jiggling gut. “Like what, how horrible I am at Starcraft too? Or Overwatch for that matter? How about literally any other video game or-“

“Please!” The draolf cried out, stunning Zane into silence. Denya had closed his eyes, looking ready to pass out on the spot on top of the bearcario’s stomach, before reaching up to rub the soft blue tummy. “I came here to ask if you wanted to do anything that you’re especially good at, dude. You’re way more talented than me at a ton of other stuff, so if you wanna mock me at something I totally suck at, I wouldn’t judge you.”

Zane nearly blurted out a harsh remark that would have went a little something like “and stoop to your level? No thank you!” but a sudden idea surfaced in his mind, one that he had been meaning to try for a while. “Anything?”

“Anything,” Denya rolled to face the bearcario and offered a more genuine smile this time. “Wanna do a drawing contest? Or watch me fail at sculpting a 3D model? Or how about-“

He never got to finish that sentence. Without waiting for permission, Zane allowed his aura to rise, his natural Lucario power welling within him until there was enough to teleport the two hefty furs. As per usual during his sudden teleportation, the draolf was taken aback as the familiar bedroom suddenly melted away, revealing a massive warehouse half the size of a football field. Yelping with shock, Denya rolled onto his feet to look around, his jaw hanging with shock. “What…where…HOW…?”

“Yes,” was Zane’s only response, lazily rolling into a seated position as he looked at what 90% of the warehouse was full of: Donuts. Dozens, hundreds, thousands of donuts stacked on top of one another, their glazing reflecting what little light was shining from the ceiling lamps. The draolf swore he was gaining weight just from breathing in the sugary aroma.

“I created this space ever since you called me a ‘brainless buffoon’ while playing Starcraft,” Zane continued to explain, grabbing a nearby Boston Crème to nibble on. “Every time you raised your voice, I added one donut. Every time you swore, I added two. Whenever you called someone on the other team a name, whether outloud or in chat, I added six, and whenever you shouted at me, I added a dozen.”

“Wow,” Denya mumbled, his face turning beet red as he realized he was surrounded by the culmination of his anger. “I, uh, never realized how salty I could get.”

“Well, now you do, so now we’re going to have a little contest of our own,” Zane burped, wiping the cream from his chubby muzzle. “Whoever eats the most wins.”

Denya nodded, his ears still pressed against his head. He did tell the fat Pokémon that they could do any contest he wanted, although the draolf was certain he wouldn’t leave this room without a few extra inches to his waistline. With a heavy swallow, he sat down next to a pile of éclairs and started sliding them into his muzzle one by one, eager to atone for his sins as swiftly as possible.

Zane watched as his anger-prone boyfriend chowed away, withholding the surge of insults welling up in his throat. Phrases like “My grandma eats faster than you!” and “how can a fatass like you eat like a hummingbird?” bounced around in his mind, although he knew better than to speak his thoughts. He was the bigger fur after all… well, for now at least.

What Denya didn’t realize (or bother asking about, for that matter) wasn’t where Zane managed to conjure up countless amounts of pastries, but how. Seeing as how bearcario’s are very rare creatures, not many would know of their trademark ability to infuse any food their aura touches with additional calories to help bulk up for the winter. As such, each donut surrounding the pair had nearly as many calories as an entire cake, and it was starting to show.

After Denya swallowed his 12th pastry, Zane started to notice the draolf’s grey belly start to poke out from beneath his black sweater. Likewise, his rump was slowly spreading across the floor behind him while his gut filled up any extra space he cleared up from eating. His wobbling second chin grew more pronounced with each bite, with a third starting to make itself known. Even Denya’s tail, already much thicker than a normal draolf’s tail, was growing proportionally thicker with its host, resting on the floor like a squishy log. Zane couldn’t help but grin as he used his telekinesis to lift the end of Denya’s tail off the floor, swishing it softly as if he were holding it himself before dropping it on the floor with a meaty slap, sending ripples across the entire cylinder of fat.

“Having *urp* fun back there?” Denya muttered in between bites, holding a paw to his yogaball-sized belly in a futile effort to halt the jiggling. Despite his determination to literally eat his words, the obese draolf found himself struggling to stomach so much food at one time. 50 donuts in and he had already managed to add an extra 800 pounds onto his already plush body, the majority of his stomach billowing out in front of him while his sweater struggled to contain his doughy moobs alone, the sleeves of which had torn at the seams to make room for the extra arm girth. Every time he reached for more, the draolf felt the cotton rip just a bit more as he grabbed for donut after donut after donut… after donut… after donut… until he simply couldn’t reach anymore.

A massive belch escaped the obese canine lips as he slumped against his beanbag-sized gut, panting swiftly like an overworked canine. Now weighing at nearly a full ton, Denya was easily wider than he was tall, a blobbish sphere of black and grey pudge. Simply fanning himself was a chore as his wings had grown too fat to move, looking like parts to an over-inflated bat plushy than actual functioning limbs. His tail, his massive, enormous tail was the same size Denya was before he started his massive feast, its sheer weight somehow spreading apart his beachball buttcheeks. “I…can’t eat… another bite,” the obese draolf whimpered in between burps, turning away from a Jellyfilled Zane was trying to levitate to his maw.

“Aw, already?” The bearcario couldn’t help but murr as he stood up to walk to his massive boyfriend, eyeing the especially bloated tail that had more folds than a complex origami figure. “But you hardly even made a dent! There’s still thousands more for you to eat.”

“But I caaaaaaan’t!” The draolf whimpered, swiftly learning how it felt to be completely helpless while being berated. It was true, there was hardly a noticeable different in the mountain of pastries surrounding them, all anyone would have noticed was the sudden pile of furry lard resting besides the food. Denya couldn’t turn his neck, let alone move any of his limbs. He was completely, 100% stuck relying on his boyfriend.

A mixture between a yelp and a belch passed out of Denya’s maw as he felt the bearcario’s aura engulf him, his titanic body now a weightless mass floating around as Zane sat where he had been sitting. “Tut tut, I guess I’ll have to carry you.”

Once those words were said, the bearcario started shoveling the wall of donuts into his maw, gulping down what looked like five at a time. Zane began swelling almost immediately as a result, his already round belly bulging outwards like a balloon. Hundreds upon hundreds of pounds piled onto his fat body, the floor slowly vanishing beneath the wave of blue fur. From his vantage point, Denya could easily see how much of the ground Zane was taking up, although he also couldn’t help but notice how much harder it was becoming to wiggle his fingers as time went on.

Barely fifteen minutes had passed and Zane was already nearing Denya’s own weight with no signs of slowing down. Abandoning the use of his arms, the gluttonous bearcario simply held his maw open as donuts stacked together and flew down his gullet on their own. His stomach surged forward like a tidal wave of blubber while his enormous car-sized tail was the only thing visible behind his enormous rump. “O-ok, I think you made your point!” Denya called out, although his words fell on deaf (and fatty) ears.

Instead of slowing down, Zane’s rate of consumption increased dramatically, a steady torrent of food flowing into his maw. He was totally in his element right now, his typical bearcario gluttony making itself very apparent. There was nothing he was better at than eating, and by god did it feel good to show off his best talent. It didn’t matter that he was a shapeless blob at this point, or that his growing cheeks had somehow pushed his glasses off his muzzle (he wouldn’t be surprised if he accidently ate those too for that matter), in fact, his size was a trophy, a true testament to how much he really could eat! As the mountains of donuts shrank down, Zane rose higher, his colossal figure reaching from one end of the 50 yard room to the other.

Denya gritted his teeth as donuts bounced off his gelatinous body on their way to Zane’s maw, pastries flying from all four corners of the room to vanish inside the bearcario’s blackhole of a stomach. Higher and higher the blue blob rose, making the draolf feel even more claustrophobic than before. It was impossible to tell where the shapeless mass of lard’s limbs were at this point; hell, he could only tell where Zane’s maw was just from watching where the tornado of food was being funneled too.

Soon, he couldn’t even see where that was as rising roll of flab reached the ceiling before he did, pressing him against the top of the metal building. With a grunt, the draolf felt himself squish tighter and tighter against the wall, slipping deeper in-between Zane’s bulky rolls. Despite the increasing pressure, Denya imagined the outside of the rectangular building start to round out, with tufts of blue fur and chub escaping out of every crevice possible. As the pressure built to near intolerable levels, the draolf disappeared deeper and deeper into Zane’s fat, wondering just how much more before the building finally exploded.

But, to his surprise, the building didn’t explode, at least not in the way he expected.

Instead, the walls lifted themselves upwards, folding back to allow more space for the growing bearcario blob. To Denya’s horror, the entire building floated overhead before crumbling itself into a ball as if it were a mere wad of paper. That metal wad then proceeded to fall towards where he assumed Zane’s head was, who gobbled it down like it was a tiny snack.

“Scuse me,” a cute voice called out from where Denya saw the building disappear to. With a yelp, he felt himself magically flung forward, rolling along meters of pure flab like a ball before suddenly stopping, his nose mere inches away from Zane’s.

“My…god…,” Denya uttered, trying to take in the sight before him. “You’re… you’re amazing! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“Heh, I know right?” Zane couldn’t help but gloat just a bit, the edge of his truck-sized cheeks blushing.

“No, I’m serious!” Denya explained, leaning his head closer to peer into his lover’s beautiful violet eyes. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, you know that? You’re an amazing artist, 3D-modeler, and story writer, even if you don’t write often. You’re as great with people as you are with animals, and you know just what to do or say whenever I’m feeling bummed.” Then, with a sigh, Denya lowered his head. “You know I don’t mean those things about you when we play Heroes, right? I mean, I get upset, but in a way I use it as a way to make myself feel… better, ya know? You’re just so damn good at everything, it feels really good to actually have a talent that I can show off, even if it’s not a very useful one. What I’m trying to say is-“

He never got to finish his sentence as Zane’s soft muzzle interlocked with his, planting a passionate smooch on his muzzle. The two obese lovers stayed that way for a while, kissing and enjoying each other’s girth before the bearcario pulled away, smiling. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Denya chuckled, licking Zane’s cheek. “We have a strange relationship, don’t we?”

“We do,” Zane confirmed, feeling his stomach rumble with enough force to rattle the very Earth itself “but just like us, it will continue to grow forever.”