Old pic, but same context. Getting slightly fed up with all the shit going on in the world, in the fandom, heck, even in my own fucking body.

Today I had a bit of a fright, I was one my phone - heard a loud bang and freaked out. Thing is, my anxiety/panic issues have been pretty bad of late - my stupid fucking mind told me someone got into the flat. SO, panic attack ensues, I listen for footsteps, I get ready to clobber someone out of fear. Walked out the bedroom and saw noone at the door, noone was in the flat but me. I felt stupid.

It must have been a pretty good hallucination to think someone was REALLY in here eh?

Thing is, I get hallucination of ALL the senses, sometimes my psychosis plays havoc with my anxiety and vice versa. One triggers the other and back i'm sure of it.

Thankfully I didn't go into a catatonic state, which is what happened before at mum's house for 3 hours. (I don't remember 3 whole hours, according to my mum, I was white as a sheet and didn't know what was going on.)

I'm going back home on Friday, well, tomorrow. To get help with my disability claim, get medical stuff done, flu jab, bloodwork needs to be done as I get them regularly because of the medication i'm on and oh, talk about BLOOD PRESSURE PROBLEMS! Wonderful.

Thing is, I almost got an ambulance called one of the last times I was at the doctors, my blood pressure was so high the GP was pretty sure i'd pass out or faint, but it seems to go back down to a 'normal' for me, which is slightly on the high end, but normal. :/ Ugh.

But eh, little vent. If i'm a bit out of it and don't respond, i'm probably just a bit...meh.

Too much going on. Pain issues, IBS, mental shit and generally feeling like I just want to lash out and just....grr.

Thank goodness i've got music keeping me sane.