Okay, here is my first installment to the "Dear DeVoir" series. I'd like to give a big thank you to everyone who posted questions:  JordilianVector ,  Dragonsurfer, and  SnickeringSnack as well as one anonymous participant. You can still submit your letters to DeVoir as well! Just leave them in the comments section below. Be warned, the last one involves implied hard vore, so don't read that if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Also marking this as general because its implied, there is no actual gore shown. Anyone think that will be debatable for the mods f FA? Let me know and I'll change it.

This was a ton of fun to do. I am really looking forward to doing the next one, but I need your help to continue. I really appreciate your contributions and hope that you'll keep those questions coming. In any case I hope you enjoy it! Here is you can find the rules for participation. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24867888/


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Dear DeVoir,

I realize that this isn't exactly the question I should be asking here but I'm at my wit's end. I've been having trouble with a roommate of mine lately. We've moved in together a while ago but lately he's been excessively insistant about eating me, with his teasing getting just a little too physical for my tastes sometimes. Is there anything I can do to make him back off a little at least for now?

He's never attempted to actually eat me against my will and I trust that he won't. But it is a little jarring to come home expecting to rest only to end up in a wrestling match with your buddy's tongue instead. I've tried asking directly but I think he sees nothing wrong with doing that to me on occasion, no matter how much I complain.

I don't mind the idea of being eaten by him at some point. But he's making it a little hard to get on with my daily life.

Sincerely, disgruntled from Invictus.

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Dear Disgruntled,

This is exactly the kind of question to be asking. It is important to know that alien roommates are just like regular ones in that they can either be your best friend, or incredibly annoying. Because it is the latter for you, it is your own duty to establish threat of action. This is hard for a human to do though, considering the shear size difference, but there are methods.

The first thing you need to do is threaten to move out. From what you've said, he won't stop until you either take severe enough action to show what he is doing is wrong, or he just eats you. It is not healthy to live in a household where someone forces such things upon you. From there, you have two avenues of action. You can be inductive or the opposite.

One method of convincing him is that you begin using an anti-predatory soap. There are soaps out on the make your flavor fairly unattractive to aliens to the point where they will spit you out. However, I do not recommend this for your situation. This is because you actually are open to the idea of being eaten. These soaps make it so that it takes a long while before you can start tasting the same as you did before, and if he puts you inside his mouth, he won't be too keen on doing it again in the future.

Another thing that you could do is establish times of the day and week when you will allow him to be so teasing and aggressive for you. The mere threat of you pulling out of your roomate partnership will reduce his aggressiveness towards you, making any trips into his mouth a bit more gentle. If you can live with that until the day you decide to ask him to swallow you down.

Alternatively, you could just go ahead and have him eat you now. The benefits of this being that you don't have to worry about coming home from work only to be interrupted by a wet tongue. Instead, you get to relax inside his stomach and never have to worry about anymore. I don't recommend this though because you don't want to encourage this behavior and make it even worse for any of the snacks that he'll have after you. This is only if you're tired of living with it anyway.

If you hope to one day be sliding into his stomach, then I suggest going with the second option. If you don't ever want to be eaten by him, either move out or use the anti-pred soap. Regardless, I hope that things work out for you two and if he does end up eating you, I wish you both the most enjoyment you can get from it.
-DeVoir

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Dear DeVoir

I need help in deciding, or least an opinion one what would be best to do. I've had a large crush upon Turians for many years now, they are perfect beings in my eyes and while us humans (Like me) are equal now... I still think we are better as their food... I even daydream multiple times about being consumed by one the last few years now, some are of being packed in their stomach to die happily in a better being and digested like any other foodstuff, other times being kept around by them taking antacids or using rope/string to pull me back so to eat me again later...

What I need help with is deciding how to present myself I guess? Is it okay to be fully willing and clear to one when I go searching that I want to be their food or should I play off resistance until I am locked in that lovely gurgling belly they have?
Also, where would be a wonderful place for being consumed by one? I want the moment, (if it's my final time alive) to be truly magical for myself and the Turian I feed myself too.

Sincerely, Zachery Drakon (aka Dragonsurfer), currently from The Citadel.

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Dear Dragonsurfer,

Finding a predator is not the hardest task for a human, it's what comes next to establish consent between both parties.

The most efficient way is to be completely open about your intentions and desires in a fairly populated place like a club. There are many clubs with a turian focus, featuring music from palaven and their colonies, turian beverages, and such. All you would need to do is peruse the crowd, find a handsome alien, and offer to buy them a drink to break the ice, then open with your intentions.

If you don't mind a more of a slow burn that night, make sure that you go to a club alone, isolate yourself from other humans and walk along the turian bar rather than the human one. This will get more eyes on you and thus more mouths salivating. If a turian to your liking starts speak to you, offer to buy him a drink as well. Make sure that if he asks if you want to be eaten that you say you want to be convinced. With this method, it can end up being a bit more fun if you toy with the back and forth conversation with the pred and prey. I recommend this method if you enjoy being teased and reminded about your place being food for the big bird.

The trouble with finding a turian at a club though is that it lacks intimacy. As you said, you want it to be a magical moment for you and the alien that eats you. Many clubbing turian's are simply out to get their helping of human tucked away inside their stomach. They wouldn't want to bother with carrying you to somewhere nice before finishing you off. That being said, there are certainly ones out there who would enjoy it a lot.

If you want to go for a more intimate and non-lethal approach, look for any turian friends who have expressed enjoyment in eating humans. This makes it harder to find the right alien, but they'll be more excited to take you somewhere nice to eat.

As for a place to be consumed by one, I have a few suggestions. The presidium is a beautiful place to have it occur, considering the bright daylight from the artificial sky. If you want something with a little more color, there is an incredible view of the nebula from the Zakera ward markets that would be a perfect last sight of the galaxy before you are trapped inside a turian's guts.

Regardless of what you choose, I hope that you find the right turian to eat you alive and that your final moments will be everything you've hoped for. Good luck!

-DeVoir

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Dear DeVoir,

First off I would like to say I've been an avid follower for quite some time! But, unfortunately, I'm going to have to stop following. Not because I've lost interest, but because I'll be unable to within... My best guess is an hour.

You see, being an avid follower as well as a human, I've naturally wanted to take the organic slide so many write to you about. However, I was too nervous, and never got the courage to put myself out as a potential treat. That was until I saw a man, a big, handsome Turian man, at a bar I frequent. I lost my breath just looking at him.

I knew I had to act on this. My mind and body alike accepted that I had to be inside his stomach, but how would I approach him? I was so busy trying to think of an idea I didn't notice him come sit down next to me. Apparently he'd noticed me staring at him and knew exactly what I wanted. We talked for a bit, mostly he was teasing me about wanting to be eaten. I didn't mind one it, it only served to solidify how much I wanted it.

Eventually he ordered another drink, I can't recall what it was, something alcoholic. He picked me up and dropped me into it. I laughed swimming at the surface of the drink as it was raised up. He chugged it all down, not stopping to taste it. I got a brief glimpse into his maw, it was so purple and slimy, before I went down with the rest of the beverage.

Now here I am, in his stomach. My surroundings are always shifting. It's so slimy and warm, I'm sitting in the drink he chugged down, and it seems to be soaking into some kind of mushy remnants of what I assume was his dinner. I can feel him patting from outside and occasionally he'll let out a crude belch, which makes everything get tighter for a moment.

Already I can feel myself getting softer. He's talking to someone else too, like he's already forgotten about it. I still don't mind, I'm just food to him after all.

Sincerely, digesting from the Citadel

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Dear Digesting,

I'm happy to hear that you finally found the right turian to pack you away for good! It's always nice to hear from my human readers that they're taking the big leap into an alien of their preference. Of course, it's a little disappointing to know that you won't be enjoying my articles (or much of anything aside from feeling your body melt) since you're space bird food now.

I am well aware that at this point I'm probably just talking to a pile of mush at this point or maybe even a bit of turian fat/muscle. I have to wonder if the turian who did the deed may be reading this, but if he was, it would be hard to know if he was the person who ate you. I'm sure plenty of turians had plenty of humans to eat the night you sent this. Your predator might have even had a few of your kind before and after you got reduced to food status.

Regardless, its a good thing you didn't need any advice, since it's not like you can act on it anymore. Instead, this can be a fun example of what will happen to those who've been eaten. Usually, unless you're in the hospital at the moment of swallowing (or you've implimented some method of digestion prolonging), you're probably not going to make it out alive, at least not without melting off a few limbs. Once swallowed, it's best just to get comfy. If you haven't said your goodbyes, it's best to go ahead and notify your friends, maybe post a picture of yourself inside the stomach to show off where you ended up.

Another lesson to be taken from this is to understand that the alien that'll be the end of your life is out there, and all that it takes is eye contact, a few words, and explicit consent. So if you're a prospective prey, don't be afraid to explore, socialize, and think about being the food you want to be. Like our dear prey in question has found out though, they may only view you as such, and continue about their lives while yours comes to a wet and slimey end.

As for our digesting friend, I hope you enjoyed your time inside the turian's stomach, and I hope you went to good use on his body, be it for fat, muscle, or maybe even you've already been burned off. In any case, it's all irrelevant now. Talking to you is arbitrary and honestly just a formality. I'm sure though that your message will help and inspire other destined pieces of meat to enjoy their end inside someone else.

-DeVoir

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Dear DeVoir,

A friend of mine asked me to eat him and I'm not sure how to respond. It's not that I'm against the idea but he's been exceptionally specific about the fact that he wants me to chew him up.

I've only ever tried eating another sentient being once and never before in pieces. He says that it's exactly what he wants but I'm just0 not sure if I can bring myself to rip him to shreds like that.

Is eating a human like that even acceptable? Wouldn't he be in pain? If I go through with something like that I want to make sure he knows what he's getting himself into. I'd hate to mangle him for nothing or worse yet turn his final wish into a living nightmare.

Sincerely, concerned from Citadel.
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Dear Concerned,

This is an important topic to consider. I'm glad that your friend found someone so caring to want to give his life to in such a manner. Despite what it may seem, chewing another individual is a delicate affair that needs some deliberation.

While significantly less frequent than swallowing your prey whole, it is not uncommon for some prey to want to be chewed up. This can be for a number of reasons, dominance/masochism, the desire for a quick end rather than a slow one inside a stomach, or maybe they believe that food is just meant to be chewed. I can understand you not knowing this since you've only eaten one other person before and you might not be as immersed into this culture like other readers.

You'll want to ask your friend if he would rather have a quick end, or a more slow one. If its quick, than all you would need to do is a clean, one bite decapitation. This can be tricky though. Bite the wrong way and you could give him a few painful seconds. You can practice with gummy human candies at your nearest grocery store. Once you can reliably cleave off the head with a sincle bite, a real human should be no issue.

If he wants it slower though, it's a bit more complicated. Usually, you'll want to bite off each limb one by one, until he's begging for you to finish him off with your teeth. To offset shock induced pain and to keep him from bleeding out in your hand, consider purchasing some medigel and apply it onto the wounds where the limbs used to be.

Lastly, if he just wants you to toss him in and start chewing, then the best practice for that is to go to restaurants and order humans to chew up. There are some restaurants where they separate the humans who want to be chewed from those who do not, so they're entirely willing for you to eat them up and practice. You may want to consider doing this regardless, as it will get you accustomed to the idea of doing this to humans, and to your friend.

Of course, you can always just tell him no, or ask him if you can just swallo him alive instead. But, considering who you're writing to, I'm going to assume that you are willing to do this, just nervous. I am sure that if you follow my advice you'll treat your friend to a good time, and you may end up finding a new hobby out of it as well! In any case, enjoy your snack, because I know he'll be enjoying it too.

-DeVoir