No, it's my pet cactus, The Spirit of San Saba. Back during the late 1980's, while on a geologic field trip in central Texas, I found a cactus lying in the road not far from the San Saba river crossing, and I took it home with me. Over the years it did little or nothing, aside from twice blowing out a huge maroon flower, until one year it began to grow another branch ... and another, and another ... until it has become the terrifying THING that appears in this image. To tell the truth I have no idea what to do with or about the THING and am open for suggestions (inb4 "use it as sex toy," though it does look like something an alien might use for kinky purposes).