Stop uploading, I'm getting a Vanguard overload!

I guess there are some benefits to being antisocial for a while... stored commissions

If I had abs like that? No I wouldn't! Not unless society made me.

Come to think of it, we haven't seen any out-of-shape Vanguard, have we? This may yet explain why half the freakin' population don't seem to wear shirts.

Oh, and also, like goatee. Bet it tickles.

As one who has a goatee, why don't you tell us whether it tickles? Surely your various partners would be able to fill us in on all the sordid details?

Hmm, a fat Vanguard...well I guess it would be possible. Would have to have one hell of a mobility scooter?

I kinda assumed that if anyone in Vanguard culture got that fat, as you previously postulated, they would be considered useless and broken down and used for either food/fuel/decorative warning for others.

And it depends, as I've learned, on the person and the kind of hair they have. I myself have enjoyed exactly one silky smooth goatee to rub up against, as said guy either had the lucky "nice facial hair" gene, or used goatee-care products that are probably expensive and tacky and totally worth it.

Me, on the other hand? I've never gone to such lengths for my own pinch, and have gotten more than a few variations on the "OW! Quit rubbing that steel-wool against me!" phrase. Though it did come in handy on one occasion where this girl had forgotten her pumice and needed help exfoliating her legs...

There would be a lot of cultural and societal pressure on a Vanguard if they became overweight to cut that shit out RIGHT now.

Hmm, so do hair conditioners work on goatees? They can make your hair feel all silky smooth and luscious, so surely your chin-fluff would also benefit from such a treatment? I don't really picture you as the sort of person who would buy hair products just to use on your fuzz. Could be wrong, of course.

Not having much experience in the bedding of women, I would imagine they would be all squealy and squirmy at someone with stubble or rough hair scrabbling about between their legs, no?

You'd be surprised. >.>

I've yet to encounter any hair care products specifically designed for chin pubes, despite working in a store alongside beauticians. And while I have experimented with regular conditioners on the ol' patch, I've yet to meet any product that could withstand the sheer tensile strength of what 1000 years of red Scottish whisker breeding has culminated in.

Oh my... is extended facial fuzz akin to pubes in terms of texture and wiryness?