I have been overly structurized in my past because of how I was raised in my family and following other conditionings, which felt so repressing that I just had to cut off the string. My biggest mistake in my life was that I have put society over my own spiritual wellbeing because my family did it as well and I also just followed instead of trusting in my own spirit and this turned my life into a disaster. When we take society too seriously, we forget about the true meaning of life, namely to enjoy it while sharing our love. Now that I have learned this lesson, my next task in my life is to learn to not get too carried away into chaos as well and to learn to unify both sides of life. It's like I've always known extremes so far, but maybe my life is just like a swaying pendulum and I will find my inner balance when it stops swaying. Now I trust in my spirit and I just go along with its flow.