This is kind of a mix of anger and happiness?

It's about one of my most recent former partner, who it turns out was using me basically our entire relationship.

I was really hurt when we first parted ways and this all came to light, and while I am still pretty angry with them, I am reaching a point where I realize that if that's how they chose to treat me, then they didn't deserve me.

They were actually a decent partner in action, but this was so far from ok. I am grateful to them for the healing they helped with me after my ex-fiance and I broke up. They showed me what a relationship SHOULD be like (or at least gave me a better insight to this), taught me how to communicate better, and helped me work past my jealousy issues my ex-fiance actually reinforced.

My time with them was amazing, but they've ruined our relationship even as friends by using me the way they did.

So I am choosing myself, the way that they never chose me, and I am going to give myself all the love I wanted to give them.

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You didn't fucking deserve me.

I'm not perfect. I need to be better.

But I deserved better than what you did to me.

I chose you, every day, but you didn't choose me. You chose her, and I was just your back up.

You didn't deserve all the love I had for you. All the love I gave. All the love I wanted to show but didn't feel I could.

I knew I wasn't your first choice, but I hoped that I could at least be YOUR choice.

And I never was.

I chose you, you chose her, she chose someone else.

I stuck around hoping you would choose me. For years.

I never forced your hand.

I would tell you what I wanted, how I felt, but that it all came down to what you wanted, and whatever you chose, I would respect.

You chose her, but you made me think you chose me.

You played with me.

You hurt me.

You betrayed me.

You didn't fucking deserve me.

Sure, we can still be friends. But it will never be the same.

It will never be like what we talked about.

It's fine that you didn't choose me.

Because right now, I am choosing myself.

I'll give myself all the love that you didn't want.

You didn't fucking deserve me

And I did not fucking deserve what you did to me.


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(C)