Had some nice quality family time decorating dis here tree.


Until the following occurred:


Bro bought a Nintendo switch and is losing his mind and babbling on how the fuck it works.

Me telling him about how the game chips taste awful.

Trying to convince him to lick it.

I get the tree setup and call mommers over to help make it purdy.

I unwrap the blue swirly sticks, and IMMEDIATELY REMARK HOW THEY LOOK LIKE DUCK DICKS.

The star is tiny and barely fits on the tip. MOM, THIS TREE IS MADE FOR ANGELS WITH BIG HOLES.

Later on I find a bent swirly. LOOK WHO'S READY TO PARTY! Bro laughs, mom's regretting raising me. I give her the blue boi AND SHE TRIES TO BEND IT BACK. MOM NOOOO, STOP IT. It's crooked. HE'S FINE THE WAY HE IS, STOP TRYING TO CHANGE HIM, YA COMFORMIST. I snatched Downtown Charlie back and hid him behind the tree.

Bro come back after googling shit. Dafuq is dis? PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. No. DOOOO ITTT.

We finish decorating and I add some old minecraft ornaments I made two years ago.

Also blue candy canes are the best, reds are for people who hate having fun.