Wow...

This form is almost too stilted for the subject matter.

But I still like it.

PERFECT! :>

*hugs teh toon bear* ^^

I appreciate your commentary! =3

Its awesome how you can get an idea for a poem just by looking at a scene. although i personally cannot i really liked this poem good job once again.

Hehe, yeah, those usually end up being my BEST poems, IMO anyways. :U

Anyhoo, I'm glad you enjoyed my latest work, Soka. ^^

Inspiration comes in ALL shapes and sizes....and formats (GO music)! x3

lol

This poem is perfect ^___^ The idea you were going for DEFINITELY got through and not only that, but I personally loved the voice of the person speaking =P

"Shame I couldn't catch the rain" Was the phrase in this particular poem that did it for me x3

Good job mate =3 A very very powerful write

Hehe, well that's nice to hear! ^^

Though, tell me Riddle, what do YOU think of the meter/flow? =/

Is it too...choppy, rigid? D8

Heaven's no! D= It's very well done!!! ^__^ You oughta be PROUD

Hehe, we'll talk about it in more detail after I eat, and after you log back on to MSN of course! x3

I'll be checking out ALL of your recent works as well! ;D

Hey dude, glad you found something to get your engines firing over. I know I get a lot of inspiration from the stuff other people do around here, so it's always nice to know I can help contribute to others in turn.

To the extent you're interested in critique, I think you've got a lot to work with here. You use some lovely images in your poem. I'm inclined to agree with maxgoof's comment on form, in that the rhyming scheme you've chosen seems to evince a sense of rigid control that might not be an intuitive fit for an ode to nature and the free-blowing winds and waters of the verdant wilds ^_^ The meter loses me here and there as well, because it seems to come and go between rigid form and free verse, which tripped me up at a couple of points as I was reading through. You're totally capturing mood and doing a nice job with scene-setting. At this point, I'd say just try not to get too precious with the text and focus on polishing flow <3

Poetry is a lot of fun, and there's a ton of depth to explore -- I hope you keep writing, and enjoy the process! I look forward to reading more.

Hehe, well I appreciate the in depth comment! =3

In truth, this is the FIRST time I've ever written with this kind of meter. Though it's consistent throughout the poem, I could imagine how it must sound a bit rigid at first read; it's rather awkward. x3

I actually ONLY write in meter, and the majority of my works are in either full iambic tetrameter or iambic pentameter, unlike this hybrid here. ^^;

If you're interested, check out any of these:

"As If She Was A Cherry Tree"
"Little Cosmic Serenade"
"Stained-glass Angel"

I saw that you were writer as well. What kind of stuff do you dabble in? :>

Anyhoo, take it easy, and thanks again! ^^

Wow...that is a wonderful poem and to have it inspirsed by the picture that you linked is great. I really enjoy this piece and the way it flows is just impressive.

Hmm, so it flows rather well then? (o.o)

I haven't felt COMPLETELY indifferent on it, but it's just that some are finding it a tad bit hard to read through. This poem was an experiment with a NEW meter; I wanted to try something different for a change. I'm not sure if it turned out okay though. ^^;

Well, I really appreciate your comments, as always, Crystal! =3

They mean a lot to me. ^^

I'm glad that they do and yes, it does flow well.

hey you did it, i'll read this later busy today sorry

but i'm sure it's awesome like the rest of yer stuffs

It's all gewd man! =O

By NO means should you feel rushed to read anything! ;3

Carry on soldier! ^^

Well, this is nice man. It's beautiful, beautifully written, and it most inspires a picture, one that my jaded brain cannot begin to fully comprehend. The flow is a little rough, but the pictures are still very vibrant, I could almost picture the scene.
their wings like living portraits paralyzed was the line that really got me, excellent job sir.

LOL

Well THANK you for such an inspiring comment, Crim. =3

I'm sure the flow did feel QUITE odd, as the meter is RATHER awkward, despite being consistent. ^^;

I wanted to try something different; I'll admit, I was getting a bit tired of my usual iambic tetrameter and pentameter. x3

Oh, and THAT line is my absolute FAVORITE! \(^o^)/

I'm SO glad you enjoyed this. ^^

Well it's always a good thing to try new stuff, and you did a very good job with this new style as well, you should be proud.

Oh, and I re-read the line. I shivered. =3

*gives you a warm embrace* :>

I agree, Crim, and THANK you again. =3

*hugs back tight and close* No need for thanks man, tis merely the truth