UNGH.

The original is actually by scooter.
You could use a lot of work, I suggest using a different style of synth instead of just one noise. Plus it sounds like its going "dat. dat. dat. da-dat." You don't want that, you want it to flow better.
The breakdown is too minimal, and the clap is just overused.
The kick drum you use in this song is really quiet.
You got better towards the end though

Listen to what made that song so good and get your inspiration from there. Don't necessarily copy it, but get inspired by it

Love; Your friendly neighbourhood guy-with-good-ear-for-music

Heheh, thanks for the lovely critique, but this piece is waaaaaaaaay out dated. I now use a completely different style and music system, which allows me to actually EQ and mix stuff (and the reverb was garbage....). This was openMPT, I now use Reason 4.0.
I don't have a whole lot of submissions due to my stacked schedule, but check out my latest one "Inspiron".