If my interpretation is correct, you're being force fed lies from a demon within you that's changing how you look at others, even though deep down you know it isn't true.
(forgot to add this) if that is the case, it's ok. The dark thoughts plaguing your mind telling you that aren't real, and you just gotta keep reminding yourself until your situation improves, write it down if you need to. It gets better. *tightly hugs*
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