'nother recipe for  ~FACCC2... this one I forgot I had, and some I have in my back pocket that need a little tweaking. so here's this big one in the mean time.

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EGG ROLLS! I love the crap out of egg rolls, and you can make SO many things in to egg rolls. They're versatile, can be stored easily until ready to be cooked, can usually be cooked on sight, and travel super well even if you can't cook them on sight. I've literally made tens of thousands of the things, and I'll make another tens of thousands more in the future, and wouldn't be surprised if I made more than 500k of them by the time I kick the proverbial bucket. Pictured are two different egg rolls, but on the outside they kind of all look the same. (I think the pyramid is my spicy banana dessert egg rolls, and on the left is southwest egg rolls), I'll post a few fillings options, along with general egg rollin' tips.

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how to egg-roll

Ingredients:
Filling (See below for a few ideas)
egg roll wrappers
Deep frying oil


Rolling the egg rolls (pictured above on the left side):
1) you'll need your filling, a bowl of water, egg roll wrappers, a flat surface, and a good scooping implement (I HIGHLY recommend a small 4cm ice cream scoop for consistent rolls, and it's hard to eyeball with normal spoons. don't wanna over pack them.)
2) scoop your filling onto the lower 1/3 of the wrapper
3) fold over the bottom corner and drag the filling back to get a tight pack
4) roll the wrapper over about half way
5) fold the far corners in really tight, trying to keep the edges perpendicular to the bottom edge
6) continue rolling until you just have a little flap up top, then dip your finger in the water bowl, and wet the upper edge of that triangle
7) finish rolling it over, then store uncooked in a large container with paper towels or cloth napkins or the like to stop layers from sticking to each other.

uncooked egg rolls can be stored for a few days before they get emotional and start to fall apart, or you can freeze them to store for a few weeks, just pull them out a couple hours before you intend to cook them.

cooking your eggrolls (mostly copy pasta from other deep frying recipes I've made):
~You're gonna need a deep-fry pot, and the best option for critters at home is none other than the humble fondue pot! If you don't have a fondue pot get a good sized deep sauce pan instead. Fill your pot with a good frying oil, and turn it on high! Canola oil is what I usually use because it's cheap and doesn't give your food any goofy properties. Peanut oil will make it TASTE like peanuts, and corn oil will make it SMELL like a tortilla. DO NOT USE OLIVE OIL! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T! IT'S EXPENSIVE AND WILL SMOKE UP SUPER EASILY!

~Once your oil is hot hot HOT carefully drop rolled up egg rolls into the oil. (in my little fondue pot I can usually do 4, maybe 5 at a time). When they get golden brown and crispy (a few minutes) pull them out with a spider strainer and let cool for a minute before biting down and getting fat and happy.

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Southwest egg roll filling

Ingredients:
a large onion (cubed)
a few jalapeños (cut in to small pieces, for spicier egg rolls leave in membrane and seeds, for milder take them out)
for some actually spice egg rolls get you a couple habaneros, and mince them up SUPER fine
2 bell peppers (cut in to small pieces)
a couple chicken breasts (cut in to small cubes)
cumin
corriander
a small bunch of cilantro (finely chopped)
garlic (minced)
2-1/2 pounds of cream cheese
1/2 a pound of nice sharp cheddar (small cubes)
1/2 a pound of jack cheese (small cubes)

directions:

~ in a huge pan start out by sweating your onions a little before frying up your chicken, and minced garlic, in some olive oil (along with your cumin, coriander, and salt). As per usual DON'T USE EXTRA VIRGIN, IT'S EXPENSIVE AND ONLY GOOD FOR DRESSING.
~toss in your remaining veggies and sweat them until they get soft and your chicken is cooked through (this should produce some liquid, but don't drain it)
~In a huge mixing bowl put down a couple blocks of cream cheese along with your harder cheeses, then pour your hot veg and chicken and begin mixing until you get a nice consistent goo. If it's not sticking together properly add in more cream cheese until you get a filling that can be reliably scooped.

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spinach artichoke chicken egg roll filling

Ingredients:

A big bunch of fresh spinach
a large jar or two of artichoke hearts (cut in to small hunks)
a couple chicken breasts (small cube)
a large onion
2-1/2 pounds of cream cheese
cumin
corriander
minced garlic
black pepper

directions:

~ start out by boiling a big pot of water, and dropping your spinach in to the boiling water. Let it cook for a minute or so. Strain the spinach and get as much liquid out of it as possible (the absolute BEST way to do this is scoop up the wilted spinach in to a large cloth napkin and wringing it out as much as possible, but the other option is to leave it in the colander and press as much water out as possible with a ladle or bowl.) Once you get it pressed cut it up in to small pieces.
~ In a large pan sweat your onions and garlic, then put in your chicken and spices and cook it through.
~In a huge mixing bowl put down a couple blocks of cream cheese, then pour in your hot chicken/onion mix, spinach, and artichoke hearts, and begin mixing it up until you get a nice consistent goo. If it's not sticking together properly add in more cream cheese until you get a filling that can be reliably scooped.

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Spicy ginger banana dessert egg roll filling

ingredients:
A hand of ripe bananas (5 or 6 maybe) cut in to disks
cinnamon powder
a small knob of ginger, minced (side note: I don't skin my ginger ever... it's kind of a pointless waste of time, tbh.)
brown sugar
a mid-range or better cognac (a few ounces)
some Sambal (Sambal is a Thai spicy chili paste, mostly consisting of bird's-eye chilis, and despite the savory spices in the paste it's pretty amazing for this recipe... and it's also fantastic for kicking up curries, and ramens and such) more sambal = more spicy.

Directions:

~In a pan with some hot oil start sautéing your bananas and ginger until the 'naners get a little soft. Deglaze with your cognac and cinnamon powder. (this is where you can get a nice flambé going and impress your friends with your fearlessness in the face of fire, plus if you sprinkle in the cinnamon powder while the whole thing is on fire you get cool little 'shooting stars'.)
~Pull out a quarter of the bananas and ginger and break up the bananas in to small chunks.
~Mix in your sambal and brown sugar, (honestly the best amount of brown sugar is just enough to get the whole mixture powdered with a thin layer, but like any spice it's all to taste) and let it bubble away for another minute or two.
~Pour everything in the pan to a food processor (or blender in a pinch) and buzz it in to scoopable goo, mix in the banana/ginger you set aside and you're done.

NOTE: for this particular egg roll (and really for any other dessert egg roll) I found the very best thing is to pull the egg rolls out of the hot oil and after draining on a wire rack for 30 seconds or so drop them on to a couple scoops of ice cream for a sweet-spicy hot-cold crunchy-smooth masterpiece. I like using this home made Thai chili ice cream, though I'm running kind of low and my churn is busted...

(This is prolly gonna be the only recipe for today... took pretty long to type up, tbh)