A note in advance: This judging is not the absolute certainty of a victory on the part of those named. I am one of several judges in Lucca's contest, and each of us casts votes. That's what my decisions here count as. If more vote against someone than I do, my decision in no way is stronger than the decision of the judging majority. Final announcements will be made by Lucca.

Sexman vs Toninjinka

Sexman

-With only a single picture entered I'm sure you can expect a low likely-hood of winning. And that is the case here. You showed your character, an admittedly pretty nice looking sketch, entering the scene. In that picture I'll admit I was amused by the placement of your character's hands as convenient censoring of the nipples. But that's the only comments I can make.

Toninjinka

-Your entries did much more to express this as a kind of combat. The pictures were a bit more roughly drawn than Sexman's single entry was, but they're still followable.

-I'd comment that you should be careful of continuity a bit. In Sexman's entry his character has her nethers covered in what I think is a thong of some kind, but in yours she's bare. I don't think it's a leap in logic to assumed that since in Sexman's entry you can't see a vagina, and she's using a bra to reign her mount that she's got the rest of an outfit on. Also the exchange stared underwater, and in the conlusion panel you drew your character looks to be on dry land (I have to assume it's on dry land, based on how the plant vomited). He's also armed with a giant hammer, when that's not shown in the prior panels.

-I do compliment you on keeping the comic light-hearted. That made it more entertaining. I chuckled a few times, like when Sexman's character was shown hanging from the plant's uvula and yours was hanging onto her, and then after that she decked him a few times in the face to get him to let go.

-You don't really show why she wasn't vomited up as well. And I can't see a reason why she wouldn't be in that kind of a situation. She just seems to kind of disappear.

Those are the critique oriented comments I'd make. But I vote Toninjinka wins regardless due to having put in more effort than Sexman did.

yoshi000 vs GryphRaptor

GryphRaptor

-Make sure you check your formatting for two key things: Smart Quotes, which are quotation marks that are curved to bracket the text, and apostrophes that are curved as well. FA doesn't display them properly, and instead shows a little question-mark. If you're using a program that has Smart Quotes enabled, turn them off, or just submit the entry as a document people have to download.

Also double-check your paragraphs spacing and tabbing. FA automatically pushes everything to the left margin, so tabbing doesn't work too well for displaying the submission. What works better is to double-space between paragraphs. It makes things MUCH clearer. When you combine the mass of text you've got so far with the repeated little question-marks you end up with an eye-blurringly hard to read final product.

-Add space between the description of the contest and the reason for it and the actual commencement of the story.

-Double-check the factuality of statements. Thermals are updrafts of air warmer than the surroundings.

-Check paragraph construction. If something relates to a subject entirely different from what the rest of the paragraph is about then it should get its own paragraph or be incorporated elsewhere. Your line about your character having eaten something while on hir way, and then immediately changing the subject to thinking about the prospective opponent is an example of this.

-It's likely due to the question-marks being displayed instead of quotations or apostrophes, but I can't tell whether your character is actually speaking to the snake shi disabled.

-There are A LOT of shifts in tense in this short piece. You go from past-tense to present-tense in the same sentence, and then change again in the next one.

Applying to both the issue of speaking/thinking clarity and the issue of tense agreement, read your story aloud before you submit it. If it sounds clumsy when spoken out loud to yourself, the one who wrote the piece, then it's guaranteed to be moreso for anyone who reads it. If it does sound confusing or vague, tweak it appropriately before hitting the Finalize button.

-If you wrote a scene like this again, I'd recommend adding more details about the physical appearance of the snake. It crossed my mind when your character was swallowing it and it began to struggle in hir throat that the snake could be venomous. Your character appeared to take no precautions when it came to eating safely beyond stunning hir prey with the full intention to have it struggle on the way down. A toxic bite in the throat or stomach would be a high price to pay for that attitude.

-I assume you were hoping for your opponent to roleplay things with you. Lucca specified that shi wanted each opponent to write themselves fighting and winning against their foe as best they could.

I don't necessarily agree with that set-up, but it is a doable set-up. It's not the best way to run things, but it'd get the job done. And you didn't do that. I'll not count it as a loss due to you wanting to have a cooperative effort between yourself and yoshi000, and instead I'll be judging based on writing quality and plausibility of what yoshi000 writes.

yoshi000

-Same comments and same suggested solution for the question-marks being displayed in place of quotation marks and apostrophes.

-Careful with tenses as well. The past tense of 'lay' is not 'lied', it's 'laid'. But there are numerous other occurrences besides just that one where you use past tense in a sentence that involves the present.

-In terms of character-portrayal, I immediately doubted that a creature that was part Ninetails had never before that point experienced any of its fire-element attribute. Not without a description of what the sensation felt like, and a bit more on their past, anyway. I doubly doubt this if he'd been involved in battles before, like you mention with the line about him having been in death-matches for Team Galactic. I don't think a room getting hotter is a more intense form of stimulation than possible death.

-In other character portrayal respects, yours is the first entry I've read that gave the character real emotional time, like when he was crying over when he felt he wouldn't be able to ever see his friend again. That was a nice inclusion, story-wise. It makes the character seem less like an automaton concerned only with eating others.

-Careful of your plurals. 'Foot' is singular, 'feet' is plural.

-Careful with your capitalization. Capitals aren't used in the first word following a semicolon.

-I liked the finding of the skeleton and the picking up of its gear. That's an interesting detail to include, and it makes the environment more real to the reader.

-When you're describing an important event, like the monsters attacking and your character fighting back at them, a motto to go by is 'Show, don't tell.'

What you're doing in this chapter so far is telling the readers what happens, along with a few facts about the events.

What the readers want is for you to paint them a picture that's complete with emotions, feelings, sense of time, and sensations for them to feel in their mind. Describe the raw power of the attacks he's unleashing. Describe what the monsters look like, act like, how they smell, how they fight, and how they make your character feel as he sees them and their actions. That's showing to the reader what you want them to picture clearly and vividly, and to draw them into the story. You do this a bit, but you don't maintain the practice through-out the story. And ironically you put more detail into the small things, like him musing about how it feels like Death is stalking everywhere, and understate the big things, like fighting off monster with attacks far stronger than he could normally use.

-"Yoshi, prepare to be defeated by my over powering skills!"

Lolz, Pokemon threat!

-Your sentence structure and general composition really fall apart when the battle with Gryph begins. Commas are out of place, in areas where they're not needed at all, periods are misplaced. It reads like a real rush-job, and makes it actively difficult to read at points. Don't shirk on proof-reading something, even if you're eager to see it done or excited while writing it.

-I laughed when you wrote the sandworm 'not listening to Gryph's commands'

-The parenthetical note about how fast the Confuse-ball is unneeded.

There are many more notes I made for yoshi000's entry than I did Gryph's, but that is largely grammatical advice or general writing tips covering a longer entry. A number of them were real compliments too.

I'll vote that yoshi000 wins this round due to putting in more effort, doing more to present his character well, and sticking more towards the rules and guidelines (the few there were) that Lucca specified. His entry was also far more entertaining in a few different places, and had a few less slips in logic (not totally free of them of course, as I pointed out in the above comments, but less than Gryph)

Amethystine vs usbofdoom

usbofdoom

-I know it was rushed, but be more thorough with the spell-checking, or ask the person who checked it for you to be so. 'thinkst' jumped right out at me.

-Jim's initial though about the victor looking unwise didn't make sense to me. I'm not sure what angle you were going with in his musing about that.

-Somewhat in the same commentary I've made to others about paragraph spacing and tabbing, careful with your own. You're mixing the two, but the reasoning why I just can't figure. When you have characters exchange dialog there's no space between paras and instead there's just a tab. When it's relating to the movement within the scene, there is a space, but that para includes a tab as well.

Why?

-You are the first of the contestants I've read before who's putting real effort into effectively portraying the other person's character. Everyone else has done so to a very minimal degree or not even in the slightest. You get bonus points for being the first to not be so…stand-off-ish I could say, about writing the other character. And you do so in a way that actually makes sense for both of the characters involved. It's a nice bit of character portrayal on both accounts.

-Masturbation scene is too short. You could have done more with that. The dialog was a bit amusing afterward though. I think it would have worked better if there'd been some more lead-up to it, rather than such a rapid transition from the previous scene.

-Similarly the vore scene was just too short. Your prose was better than yoshi000's, and if it had involved more of an exchange of either really serious fighting or vore/erotica/silly themed stuff then it easily could have been one of the better vore scenes of the contest. Naga are fun to toy with! I was almost hoping that after a decent amount of battle your character would slurp Ame up like a piece of spaghetti, since he had a very clear physical advantage in size and strength.

Amethystine

-You're focusing on expressing in much more detail your character's thoughts and reactions. That's an excellent facet to keep constant in a writing contest (and writing in general). Your experience with the character and portraying the unique traits of his body/species and how that affects him compared to others is also excellent, since most other members in this contest just state what their character is and don't expound on it to any great extent.

-You do a good job describing why your character does things, and does so in a way that demonstrates he's intelligent as well. Everyone else has kinda just decided to set out and make a random path to their goal with no specific reason in mind. It's nice to see that Ame is choosing a more carefully planned route that minimizes his risk and his opportunity.

-TWO! TWO! TWO FETISHES FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

Haven't read any merging content from you for a long while now. Wasn't exactly erotica-themed in this, but an interesting solution.

-Couple small errors, but nothing major. There's a little something off about the description of the new forelegs being formed for Jim, and at the part where Ame continues to rub against his privates there a 'lost' in place of 'lose'.

-This has probably the most fetish material and very likely sticks to the theme Lucca laid out better than any of the other submissions. The switch from oral-vore to anal-vore was an interesting touch, and so far unique in the competition.

-In your entrance post you mentioned that the victims Ame swallowed weren't really 'killed', more just eventually reformed. Watch your continuity with that them, since you didn't mention it here, and it really hasn't been that long since you put in the first one.

My vote goes to Amethystine winning due to better composition and more effort into his piece's content. He wrote a much more complete story and didn't cut it off too soon, nor go on too long.