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More from Noatek
The vacation may be over, but the price of actions still has to be paid.
(sorry for not posting in so long)
This is the next installment following Close to Home. I hope you enjoy reading!
Leave a comment and let me know what you think please! I love reading them, anything is appreciated! :)
Silence had fallen for the night, bringing the deep hum of the ship’s ambient systems to nag at Sa’Rahn’s attention. Mumbled words escaped his mouth as his read over the datapad in his hand. His golden eyes were getting sore, scrolling left to right for what felt like hours now. Although trying his best to memorize what he was reading, Sa’Rahn found himself often having to go back and read over pages repeatedly, realizing he hadn’t retained a single word. Reaching to rub the bridge of his muzzle, he felt as if he were back in the Militia, being forced to learn topics of which he had no interest in. The barest hint of a smirk creased his lips as he grumbled at the pitiful fact he was choosing to do so now.
While attempting to get comfortable, Sa’Rahn had propped a few pillows against the wall behind the head of his bed, creating a soft area to lounge on. Rolling his head to the side brought Cait into view through the window. Barely a sliver of space showed past the curve of his home. His eyes casually darted over the green planet’s surface, as if for a moment he could see his family’s house from orbit. Sa’Rahn had returned from shore leave earlier in the day; three full weeks of lazing about and eating everything in sight had gone by far too quickly. He regretted not having requested more time off. Still, the Alpha-Caitian IV was due back at the fleet’s starbase soon. Apparently some of the crew had also requested shore leave; Sa’Rahn felt bad it hadn’t initially occurred to him that anyone other than he and his brother might have scheduled time off to see their families as well.
Having turned in for the evening, he wore only his briefs and a thin robe. Yawning and squirming a bit, he closed his eyes, laying the datapad on top his stomach. An opened bottle of Nuts n’ Bolts and a half-full stone mug he had been nursing sat on the side-table next to him. Before leaving Cait, his father had gifted both he and Morley full cases of the stuff from his family’s restaurant to enjoy. He couldn’t remember seeing it in the crate when he unpacked it, but the cup must have also been a gift from his father as well. It looked like one you might buy on Cait, handcrafted from natural stone. Leo probably made it in the Militia or something and forgot to tell him. While he would have preferred to have saved opening the first bottle for a special occasion, Sa’Rahn had felt compelled to in an attempt to soothe his fraying nerves. Ever since his visit to the hospital, an underlying fear had slowly crept up on him like a cancer. All things considered, Sa’Rahn was impressed he wasn’t more of a mess. Despite his efforts, nothing he had gone through sat right with him. Staring out the window blankly as emotion trickled out of him, he couldn’t help but dwell on what was to happen in the hours ahead.
Sa’Rahn had received notice that the U.S.S. Ark Royal was en route to rendezvous with the Alpha Caitian IV around Cait. He was scheduled to meet with Fleet Admiral S’ttel early tomorrow morning. Painfully deep creases furrowed his forehead as he frowned. An ensign had delivered to him a report, detailing some incident in the Alpha Quadrant that had delayed the Ark Royal up to now. He had only skimmed it briefly; Sa’Rahn already knew the reason for the Admiral’s visit.
Ever since his heart attack, Sa’Rahn had never before felt so acutely aware of his weight and overall health. Although better than while on Cait, he was still having some trouble breathing, and his spine and legs still ached. Not to mention he was more conscious of how his body felt as he moved now, or rather, was restricted to move due his size. The skin of his chest, around his heart, felt overly sensitive and sore to touch. There was no reason for it though; he was sure it was all in his head. Sa’Rahn couldn’t shake the underlying fear of another attack happening at any time. While the thought of speaking with his ship’s counselor had crossed his mind, he quickly dismissed it; he didn’t want a shrink telling him how he felt.
After taking another sip and returning to his reading, Sa’Rahn’s attention was abruptly split as one ear turned to the sound of his bathroom door sliding open. Iris casually sauntered out, combing her fingers through her black hair with a hot cloud of steam following behind. Having just stepped out of the shower, she was barefoot and wearing only short purple robe. Despite his meeting with the Admiral still weighing on his mind, Sa’Rahn smiled a little as he watched her. Moving over to his side of the bed, Iris leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Hey babe.” He purred, smiling and nuzzling her in return.
Cinching her robe as she stood, Iris paused to examine the drink and bottle sitting next to him. “Hmm, I wondered why your breath smelled like coconuts just then.” She grinned.
“Oh ah, sorry.” Sa’Rahn smirked, swallowing and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Hmm, it’s not often I see you drink.” Iris began to say as she walked around the bed to her own side. “Is it... safe, after...?”
“I asked the Doc, he said it was ok. This is all I’m having.” Sa’Rahn replied, raising the mug a little. Staring blankly into the pale creamy drink, he added, “I jus-... I just needed one tonight…”
The bed’s mattress gave slightly as Iris crawled up next to him, snuggling in close between his arm and side, using his soft chest as a pillow. Laying a hand over his middle, she sighed, “You’re worried about tomorrow.”
“I don’t really know what to think anymore…” Sa’Rahn mumbled, placing his drink back. “The Admiral is gonna demote me and remove me from the fleet. I’ll probably be reprimanded by Starfleet after that and discharged… You already know my history with that.” Closing his eyes, he leaned his cheek against her forehead, adding, “But… I’m more scared of what this will do to us. If I’m expelled from Starfleet… I don’t know what will happen to you. I’m scared...”
Sa’Rahn patiently waited for Iris to correct him, to reassure him that they would work things out together, and that everything would be alright. His whiskers slowly dipped as she remained silent, realizing she had nothing to make him feel better. Instead, Iris only cuddled him a little tighter, and tried to change the subject, “What’s that you’re reading?”
Looking down at the PADD silently a moment as his mind shifted gears, Sa’Rahn answered, “Grade one engineering schematics and programming manuals…”
“Mmm, sounds captivating...” Iris quipped with a striking amount of sarcasm before she laughed, “What in the name of the Four Deities are you reading engineering manuals for?”
“Well, I was originally reading about energy matter conversion technology. But, then I realized I needed to understand fundamental engineering and physics first… which I then realized I needed to learn basic engineering terms that I don’t know.” Sa’Rahn began to ramble. “When I’m demoted tomorrow, I’m probably going to be locked out of all the ship’s systems. I doubt even my quarter’s replicators will work for me... figured I should probably learn how to bypass security lockouts for when I get hungry.”
Iris smirked a little, mildly amused by his answer. Unable to determine if he was joking or not, she pressed further “You don’t think they’ll actually demote you do you? Besides, I thought you said before the Admiral was a friend of yours?”
Tapping his fingers across the PADD to open his messages, Sa’Rahn instinctively retrieved the communication Admiral S’ttel had sent him weeks ago. “’Admiral Noa’tek, I recently heard what happened…’, blah blah blah, ’... I am requesting a meeting with you to discuss and investigate the future extent of your duties and dietary privileges as soon as possible’.” He quoted to her robotically. “The Admiral’s a real militaristic guy. He keeps the fleet running in top shape and expects the best from his people...” Sa’Rahn paused, laying the PADD back on his stomach. “And then there’s me… a liability who got too fat for the easiest job they could stick me with.”
“That’s not true!” Iris readily countered, lightly hitting his arm. “Your job is important. You were assigned to manage the daily duty rosters and acquisitions because you’re smart, not lazy.”
Sa’Rahn scoffed at her answer, shaking his head. “I’ve heard the jokes among the crew... That they put me in a desk job because it was the only job with a chair wide enough to hold me.” Lifting the datapad back up with a grunt, effectively ending the conversation, he mumbled softly, “They aren’t wrong…”
Silence stretched on as Sa’Rahn continued to read, only to be interrupted as Iris’ hand slipped coyly around his middle to loosen his robe. His ears and whiskers fell limp almost instantly, feeling her fingernails running over his middle. He began to purr loudly, quickly aroused by the sensation! Even though it had only been a few weeks since they had been together, he had missed her touch dearly. Happily letting the datapad fall to his side, Sa’Rahn awkwardly turned to cradle her more closely to his side. “Mmm, that’s nice…” He whispered, words slurred from purring. Bending his neck down to nuzzle the top of her head, Sa’Rahn inhaled deeply, flooding his senses with her scent. The feeling was almost dizzying to him as her smell filled his lungs, sending a surge through his veins. It was good to have her in his arms once more.
As time passed, it became clear there was no fun to be had for the night, but that was fine. Sa'Rahn felt exhausted from the day anyway. The sheer amount weight in his chest pressing on him, along with Iris’ head and half her body atop him made it all the more difficult to breathe. But it was worth it to be with his mate once more. These were the moments he truly cherished.
However as the two continued to lay in each other's arms in peaceful silence, Sa’Rahn gradually grew unsettled. Her mind obviously elsewhere, Iris had been gently stroking his stomach affectionately as she cuddled him, her fingers sifting through his thick brown fur. Initially he thought nothing of it, as Iris often would rub his belly while in bed. Although still aroused, he couldn’t shake the feeling that her tenderness had slowly diminished, into what almost felt like ‘kneading’ him. Her hand seemed to be searching around his waist, feeling handfuls of his doughy flesh. The woman he loved next to him felt distant, stiffer in his arms than before. Even slightly buzzed from his drink, Sa’Rahn thought he could smell just the faintest change in her demeanor.
Unsure what to make of the situation, he pretended to act calm and unaware, mirroring Iris’s demeanor. Trying to roll his eyes down to her, he was only to see the top of her silky hair, unable to catch sight of her face clearly. Taking a deep breath and hoping he wouldn’t regret it, Sa’Rahn mumbled, “Hey, flower… is there something wrong?”
After waiting for what felt like an eternity, Iris’ hand returned to stroking the fur on his stomach more gently as she had before, she quietly answered, “No… it’s nothing.”
The tone of her voice wore away at him like voles. Even with the trouble he had reading emotions, it was almost impossible for even him to miss this. Almost certain it was intentional, Sa’Rahn didn’t stop to think before blindly probing further. “Babe, if something’s wrong-...”
“When were you going to tell me?” She interrupted, her voice soft but firm.
“Wh-... what?” Sa’Rahn stammered, a shiver crawling down his back.
Pushing up off the bed, out of his arms and just out of reach, Iris knelt across from him. Lip quivering slightly as her eyes narrowed, she continued, “On Cait. At the hospital. You didn’t take the treatment, did you?”
Ears flattened against his head, Sa’Rahn could feel his throat closing as his heart sped up. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to explain to her what had happened, letting her believe what she wanted to believe. “W-what? B-babe, no… I did take-... take the…” He stuttered, desperately overcompensating to reverse the situation. Her eyes piercing through him however, expression quickly growing as rigid as a statue, Sa’Rahn realized he couldn’t sidestep this. Who had even told her about the nanite treatment at all? Eyes darting around the room as he tried to gather his words, he hesitated, asking, “How did you-... who told you?”
“A friend of yours. Does it matter?” Iris shrugged coldly. “You told me you were going to take care of it. When were you going to tell me?”
Confusion and emotion clouding his better judgement, Sa’Rahn sat up as well, asking again far more loudly than intended, “Who told you!?”
Leaning away some as if in shock, Iris bit her lip and pointed a stern finger at him accusingly. “Don’t raise your voice at me!” She scolded, hints of tears welling in her voice.
Heart plunging into his stomach, Sa’Rahn felt a chill fall over him as he realized he had yelled at her by accident. Stretching out his hand to touch her he pleaded, “Babe! No, please…! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…!” Iris promptly turned her head away from him, her long hair sweeping over his fingers as she shrugged away. “I didn’t lie to you!” Sa’Rahn tried to backtrack. “I’m going to take care of-... I didn’t-... I… I don’t understand! Is this about my weight? Is that why you were grabbing at me a few minutes ago?”
Saying nothing, Iris only pursed her lips tighter.
“I don’t understand-... Is that it?” Sa’Rahn questioned. “I’ve put on almost thirty kilos since we met, but you never said anything! I thought you liked me like this-...?”
“This has nothing to do with that!” Iris snapped, turning back to him. “You know I like how big you are, but that doesn’t matter! You’re who I care about!” Crossing her arms tightly and looking away again as her eyes began to water, she added, “I never said anything about your size because you always made me think you were alright. You weren’t even going to tell me you’ve been on blood pressure medication for almost a year now, were you?!”
His jaw hanging open, Sa’Rahn merely blinked in bemusement. Ever since passing over one-hundred-thirty-five kilos nearly a year ago, he had been prescribed a weekly shot of Thiazene to manage his blood pressure by the ship’s doctor. He hadn’t told anyone of it, least of all Iris! How did she know? His mouth acting before his garbled thoughts could catch up, Sa’Rahn blurted out loudly once more, “Who’s telling you this!?”
“Why didn’t you tell me!?” Iris demanded, her voice cracking as she struggled to fight back tears. “You’re on permanent medication!”
“B-babe…”
“Why didn’t you take the nanite treatment back on Cait?” Iris begged.
“Because I can’t! You-... you have to remember, you were there! You saw what kind of hell I went through…” Sa’Rahn answered loudly. He started to tremble as anger and fear engulfed his memories. His skin itched as if ants were tunneling through his veins at the mere mention of the nanites. Vision blurring, he defensively spat out, “I can’t believe you would make me to go through that again! I wouldn’t make you relive what happened to your crew on the Muhalo agai-...!”
Before finishing his sentence, Sa’Rahn was met with a swift slap to his cheek! Yelping like a hurt kitten, he instinctively lifted his hand over his face defensively. His whole body was quaking in fear. The stinging in his cheek seemed to dragged him back to reality. He was in shock, unable to respond or even move; Iris had never struck him before. “Don’t you DARE bring them into this!” Iris cried, tears dripping down her face! “This isn’t about you, you idiot! What am I supposed to do when you die because you wouldn’t take care of yourself!? I am not going through that again!”
Rubbing his cheek as he recoiled from her accusation, Sa’Rahn opened his mouth to reply, only to discover no words came out.
“What hurts the most, is that you kept this all to yourself. You know? You never chose to tell me what you were going through!” Dropping her head some as she wiped the tears from her eyes, Iris added, “You never turned to me, and just let me believe you were ok, when you weren't. You let me feed into your addiction…”
“Iris…” Sa’Rahn whimpered, “I’m-... I’m sorry. Please… I don’t want you to be mad at me. I-I want to get better, ok?”
Slowly lifting her head just enough for her eyes to meet his, Iris’ expression began to soften some, believing his plea at first. As she looked him, her expression hardened once more, her lips twisting back to bitterness. “I’m not mad at you... I'm hurt, that you didn't trust me enough after all these years to tell me what was happening.” Wiping her hands down her face, Iris lightly got up from bed, pulling back the covers on her side before laying down next to him once more. “Enough of this... I'm going to bed.” She ended.
"Iris, flower, please! I’m sorry!" Sa'Rahn begged, reaching over to touch her shoulder, only for her to slink away from his grasp. “Iris…”
Sa’Rahn slouched in bed after minutes of his pleas being ignored, his voice grown tired. His thoughts spun wildly as downed the rest of his drink, trying to make sense of what just happened. The two of them had had spats before, usually over small things as any couple would, but this felt bigger. In the end though, none of their arguments really amounted to anything. He couldn’t stay mad at her, and she usually forgave his cluelessness. It was rare Iris would go to bed angry like this.
Sa’Rahn couldn’t help but lament over what he had said, and not said. The problem with his weight, and health deteriorating as a result, wasn’t new to him by any means. He lacked the will to do anything about it though. Sa'Rahn just accepted it as his lot in life, convinced that it wasn't something he could change. But how could he have been so selfish as to not trust her! Although she was his mate, he still only thought of himself it seemed. Whiskers quivering, he opened his mouth to speak, but only a pitiful, soft sound came out that could barely be heard. He sighed, unable see any way to fix this without changing himself, an impossible task.
“A friend of yours.” Her words replayed in his memory again and again. Who could have told Iris about his decision regarding the treatment, let alone his Thiazene medication? There were only a few suspects to list. Doctor M’Tolli certainly had no reason to break doctor-confidentiality. Perhaps Morley had spoken to her. After the schism between them on Cait, it was plain that his brother hated him. Sa'Rahn had to wonder if Morley wasn't above such a petty act.
Feeling like an intruder in his own bed, Sa'Rahn looked around the darkened room silently, debating if he should sleep elsewhere for the night. Perhaps one of the guest quarters, or even a holodeck. Maybe his office chair would suffice. Looking back at her, he couldn't tell if Iris truly had fallen asleep or was just pretending; she hadn’t made any attempt to kick him out after all. Unsure of what to do, Sa'Rahn merely accepted the situation as he undressed and crawled in bed next to her. Guessing she wanted to be left alone, he rolled over in bed, away from her. Memories of everything over the past weeks saturated his thoughts as he struggled to fall asleep.
What little sleep he was able to manage was shattered abruptly hours later as his combadge on the table next to him chirped to wake him. Despite his size, Sa’Rahn had learned through many failed attempts, how to get out of bed without waking Iris. It was difficult and time consuming, to be sure, to maneuver himself off the mattress without disturbing her. Or perhaps she had merely had grown accustomed to him getting up earlier than she did. Before standing, Sa’Rahn chose to sit on the side of the bed a minute to catch his breath. Scratching behind his ear with a yawn, he silently looked over his shoulder at his mate, still fast asleep. She looked so peaceful, he thought. Reaching out, Sa’Rahn gently stroked her hair, careful not to wake her.
Making sure to grab his discarded uniform, Sa’Rahn snuck into the bathroom to clean up and prepare for his meeting with Admiral S’ttel. More often than not, whenever he was changing or grooming himself, Iris would playfully try to sneak a peek. She wasn’t very subtle about it, not that she tried to be. While Sa’Rahn knew whenever she was watching, he was particularly glad this time she didn’t have to witness him struggling with his pants for almost twenty minutes! His frustration and embarrassment only grew, when after finally succeeding, the button shot off after a single breath, ricocheting around the bathroom like a stray bullet.
The room echoed with muffled grunts and curses. He knew he had put on weight while on shore leave, but he hadn’t considered just how much. He couldn’t even close his jacket anymore! He considered giving up and just replicating a new uniform, but ultimately decided there wasn’t enough time left. Besides, he reasoned in disgust, he was about to be discharged from the fleet based on his health already. The last thing he needed was another damning replicator log to drive another nail in the coffin.
Winded and sweaty after close to an hour, Sa’Rahn gently pinned on his badge and pips. Brushing off his suit, he eyed himself in the bathroom mirror. “Ergh…” He groaned, struggling to breathe a little. His uniform looked just as tight as it felt! Sa’Rahn started to turn to better his view, but quickly realized that was probably a bad idea. In general, he did his best to avoid bending over or twisting much, for fear he might rip something. He could already feel his belt was one deep breath away from snapping. Realizing there wasn’t anything more he could do for now, he made a mental note to be extra careful today.
Silently sneaking through his quarters, he couldn’t help but pause as guilt over his actions last night gripped him. Turning back slightly and looking to his bed, Sa'Rahn stared at his love. The bitterness on her face had disappeared overnight. Her hair was a mess and sprawled all over her pillow, while the sheets only partially covering her. He was lucky to have her in his life, and cursed himself for taking her for granted. He was always putting himself first, forgetting to think about it or how it might affect her. Was, he was just going to leave her like this?
He was already running late, but Mother’s Cubs have mercy if he wasn’t going to at least try and do something to fix what he’d broken! Sa’Rahn quickly grew thankful he had spent the evening before reading engineering manuals. It took a little longer than it should have, but before leaving, Sa’Rahn managed to program one of his quarter’s replicators to materialize a fresh breakfast for Iris for after he left. Uttaberry crêpes and thick cut Terran bacon to wake her. His only hope was it would act as some kind of apology on his part.
More time than he realized had slipped through his fingers while struggling with his uniform. Only seconds after leaving his quarters his combadge chirped loudly, startling him and causing his hackles to rise. “Go ahead.” Sa’Rahn responded dryly after catching his breath, tapping his badge.
“Admiral, the U.S.S. Ark Royal arrived approximately one hour and forty-eight minutes ago. Admiral S’ttel has requested your presence aboard his ship.” Commander Kent’s gruff voice replied.
Resting his furry face in his palm while making his way to the transporters as briskly as his size allowed, Sa’Rahn sighed, “I don’t suppose he said why to you?”
“No, Sir.”
“Of course not…” Sa’Rahn mumbled, hoping the Commander didn’t hear him. Taking a breath, attempting to hide the fear cracking his voice, he continued, “Tell him I’m on my way.”
“Aye, Sir.”
The trek from his quarters down to the transporter room was relatively short. But today, it felt excruciatingly long, as the world seemed to close in around him. The reality of his situation was finally starting to sink in. Reprimands, and likely a discharge was all Sa’Rahn could picture. Fear’s grip was growing tighter around his throat like a noose. He cursed his brother for spreading the news of his heart attack, it was his fault he was being investigated now! Why did Morley have to say anything? But then memories of just why his brother likely acted so resurfaced. In the end, Sa’Rahn didn’t have the heart to blame him, not fully at least. Although it seemed fate’s hand had elevated him to his current position, Sa’Rahn knew he was effectively the reason Morley was been benched as a Captain. Morley’s duties were minimal at best nowadays, he hardly had a job at all anymore. He had one objective that remained, tend to Admiral Noa’Tek’s needs. Intentional or not, Sa’Rahn believed he was to blame.
Body and mouth reflexively went through the motions as Sa’Rahn stepped onto the transporter pad as instructed, his mind lightyears away. Not wanting to witness his body deconstruct and re-materialize in another place as light began to engulf him, Sa’Rahn closed his eyes briefly. Perhaps there might still be some way to salvage the situation somehow. Sa’Rahn knew his own fate was already sealed, but even if he couldn’t save himself, he had to do something to help Iris. He couldn’t let his only love become another casualty of his carelessness! It was in that instant that Sa’Rahn realized he only had one choice remaining. After a cold flush surged over his skin, giving him goosebumps, his train of thought was quickly derailed as an unfamiliar voice spoke to him, “Welcome aboard, Admiral Noa’Tek!”
Hearing his title, Sa’Rahn opened his eyes to find a peppy young woman with rosy short hair standing opposite him. Taking in his surroundings for a moment, he replied, a little befuddled, “Um, thank you, Commander…?”
The girl grinned with a bit of a chuckle, adding, “My apologies Admiral, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Commander Flores. Admiral S’ttel’s currently waiting for you. Please, if you’ll follow me I’ll take you to his office.”
Hiding his anxiety and politely placing his hands behind his back as he was escorted, Sa’Rahn couldn’t help but look around him. The halls and general interior of the Ark Royal differed greatly from his own preconceived ideas. A Presidio class heavy cruiser, mainly designed for defending the front lines, he had expected the ship to be far more utilitarian, cramped and militaristic. While wildly different in size and class, his own time on the Muhalo years ago had given him the impression that most, if not all, combat vessels were built the same way. The absurd possibility he might not fit through the ship’s doors had even crossed his mind! But like most cruiser class starships, the halls of the Ark Royal were similar to what he was accustomed to already. Slightly dimmed lights brightening the walls from above, denim colored carpeting spanning the floor, the occasional mounted panels showing ship systems and information were dotted about. Granted, the ship in general felt a little more narrow in size, but it wasn’t terribly noticeable.
Unlike his own ship, the Ark Royal housed a far more diverse range of species. The crew of the Alpha-Caitian IV was of course comprised of a variety of species as well, however the percentage of Caitians vastly outnumbered any other on board. There was no particular reason for it, it was merely just how things ended up. For a brief moment, he had almost forgotten most starships were populated with more diversity! He felt it awkward the young woman leading him had surprised him so much.
A short turbolift ride and walk across the Ark Royal’s sparse bridge later, Commander Flores motioned Sa’Rahn into Admiral S’ttel’s open ready room. Unlike his own, the Admiral’s office was a triangular shape, adjacent to the bridge. Overall it was somewhat small, though furnished with a wide glass desk and comfortable-looking couch and chair-piece off to the side. Most noticeable of all however was the large fish tank embedded into the opposing wall, a number of small aquatic creatures swimming about inside. Sa’Rahn felt his stomach gurgle upon seeing it, reminding him he hadn’t eaten breakfast.
“Admiral, Admiral Noa’Tek has arrived.” Flores declared as Sa’Rahn stepped inside.
Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, staring out the only window in the room, stood a strong, blond Caitian, Fleet Admiral S’ttel. Dressed in a spotless Starfleet uniform, the Caitian stood roughly about the same height as Sa’Rahn, slim and fit. His sandy-tipped mane was trimmed close to his head, the fur on his jawline and chin swept out handsomely. “Ah, Admiral! I’ve been expecting you. Thank you Flores, that will be all.” Admiral S’ttel spoke up, offering a mannerly smile as the Commander left, the door closing behind her. Nodding a little, he gestured to a few free chairs sitting opposite his desk. “It’s good to see you up and about. I’m glad you came. Please have a seat.”
Over the years he had known the Admiral, Sa’Rahn found S’ttel to be very disciplined person, firm in his convictions and loyal to those he trusted. While he hadn’t necessarily believed the meeting was going to be the equivalent to an execution, he had fully expected a more serious tone from the Caitian, leading up to his inevitable expulsion from the fleet. Sa’Rahn silently sat down and placed his hands in his lap, trying to hide just how nervous he was. He was a bit unsure of what to make of the Admiral’s mild attitude.
Only adding to the anxiety building up inside him, as he sat Sa’Rahn heard a quick but shrill ripping sound from behind him! His ears flattened against his skull as his hackles rose, feeling the draft of what had just happened. Admiral S’ttel clearly pretended not to notice the embarrassing sound, for Sa’Rahn’s sake. Flushed red beneath his fur, Sa’Rahn tried to scoot in his seat, attempting to conceal the issue underneath him. Of course doing so only incited another, slightly longer rip than before. Quickly opting to cut his losses, he stopped squirming.
S’ttel continued to stand by the window a while longer, pausing to study his portly guest. Although Sa’Rahn was doing his best to conceal it, his body language and scent easily gave away just how frightened he was. Taking note silently, S’ttel turned his head to gaze out into space once more, saying, “I’m disappointed, really. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen Cait... I had forgotten just how beautiful our planet is.” Clasping his hands behind his back and pacing over to his desk, the Admiral continued, “I should schedule some shore leave while the Ark Royal is in orbit. Perhaps I can make some time to see family briefly, I haven’t visited home in some years...”
The perceived attempts to place Sa’Rahn at ease weren’t working, as he merely nodded and made a sound of agreeance.
Sitting in his own chair across from Sa’Rahn, S’ttel propped one leg on top the other and sighed, making himself comfortable. “What of you, though, Sa’Rahn?” S’ttel asked. “I understand you just returned from your own leave on Cait to visit family. How are they all doing?”
Trying not to make eye contact awkward, Sa’Rahn nodded again. “Good, good… They’re doing good, thanks.”
“Heh, it’s been some time since we spoke of our families. Remind me, your father runs a restaurant, correct? I do hope you got to visit while you were away.” S’ttel chuckled. “What I would give to have some fresh shuris… It’s a shame modern replicators don’t do our culture’s food justice.”
“I um… yes. I did get to visit my father’s restaurant...” Sa’Rahn replied. “...Once or twice.” He quickly added as his ears fell flat from guilt, trying to cover over just how much he had indulged himself. In truth, Sa’Rahn had given into his desires and eaten at his family’s restaurant more than a dozen times while away.
Eyeing him over as he tapped his finger on the armrest of his chair, S’ttel could sense Sa’Rahn wasn’t being completely forthcoming. Taking a second to gather his words, he continued, “Yes… As your friend, Sa’Rahn, I wanted to ask you how you are faring now... after what happened. How are you?”
And so it was starting, Sa’Rahn thought to himself. “I’m, not sure, to be honest…” He gulped, scratching his neck nervously. “I’m doing better, Doc tells me everything is fine. It doesn’t really feel real though, maybe because I don’t remember all of it happening. If that makes sense.”
“I imagine it must have been frightening, for anyone.” S’ttel nodded, his eyes roaming about his office as he spoke. “I can only imagine what it must have been like for your family as well. I do hope they too are recovering from such a scare.”
“Thank you.” Sa’Rahn added.
“Of course.” S’ttel replied, opening a palm as if to hold his words before speaking. “Again, thank you for coming. I felt, after everything that’s happened, it would be a good step to speak to you in person. Something like this should be handled in person and not over a video link..”
Sa’Rahn clenched as he could feel cold sweat beginning to seep into his undershirt. His voice shaky, he asked, “What is it exactly y-... you… wanted to see me about, Sir?”
“The news of your recent attack certainly came as quite a shock to me, as well as the rest of the Board of the 23rd Fleet.” S’ttel began to explain. “As glad as - not only I am - but we all are that you have recovered, Sa’Rahn, the underlying issues of this aren’t something that can be ignored any longer, I’m afraid. After careful consideration as the presiding Fleet Admiral, there need to be a few changes…”
His heart sank as S’ttel spoke. A part of him had wanted to believe he was overreacting, that he would somehow, miraculously get off with merely a slap on the wrist. Eyes blankly staring, his teeth grinded against each other, Sa’Rahn tried to muster the courage he needed. While beaming aboard, he had realized Iris’ custody depended on his status as an Admiral. If he was to be discharged from the fleet, or worse, she would likely be returned to Starfleet Intelligence. However, if other circumstances were met, as far as he could remember, her care would return to that of his previous Captain, Fort’yive. Memory of the exact details were lost to him, but it was the only gamble he had to help her left. “... I understand.” Sa’Rahn replied finally.
All he had to do was resign.
Raising his hands to his neck, he struggled a little to unfastened the admiral pips attached to his collar. Fondling the small golden buttons in his fingers, debating for a brief moment if he could really do this, Sa’Rahn sighed, leaning forward to gently place them on the desk in front of him.
The room grew silent, leaving only the dull hum of plasma conduits and Sa’Rahn’s chair creaking under his weight to fill the void. Leaning back in his seat and clasping his hands over his stomach, S’ttel stared at the pips in front of him for what felt like minutes. His whiskers fluttering in frustration as he rose a single eyebrow in disbelief, S’ttel finally looked up to his comrade. “Stand up.” He ordered, also rising from his seat.
Sa’Rahn let out a sigh of anguish as he rose, believing he was about to be escorted out by security. His career was over, he would never serve in Starfleet again. Flashes from the Academy, resentful and painful memories, flooded his thoughts. What had he just done? He had thought nothing of himself! Where could he go now, what could he do? But, waking him from his pity, S’ttel walked around the side of his desk, picking up the discarded pips. Stepping up close to Sa’Rahn, he calmly reached forward to reattach them to his collar. “I… er... wh-... “ Sa’Rahn stammered in confusion as he helplessly watched.
“I want you… to think. About what you just tried to do.” S’ttel said, struggling to fit his fingers between Sa’Rahn’s blubbery neck and his collar to fasten the pips. “And never react like that again!”
“I… I don’t…” Sa’Rahn mumbled.
“You had me puzzled from the moment you stepped into my office. What exactly did you think this meeting was about?” S’ttel huffed, taking a step back to see if the pips were as straight as he could make them. “Did you believe I asked you here to scold you like a naughty cub? This meeting was to help you, Sa’Rahn.”
“...I don’t understand.” Sa’Rahn began to ask, still confused. “You came here to r-reprimand me, and remove me from the board?”
“Why in the name of the Gods would I do that!?” S’ttel grunted, exasperated as he tried to calm himself. “I consider you a friend, Sa’Rahn. Frankly, I’m insulted you would chose to believe my response to you suffering a heart attack, would be to throw your career out an airlock because you’ve made mistakes.”
Still trying to process it all, Sa’Rahn asked again, “So… this means you’re not going to-...?”
“You don’t want to finish that sentence, Admiral.” S’ttel interrupted sternly.
“...Yes, Sir.” Sa’Rahn gulped.
S’ttel sighed, rubbing the bridge of his muzzle. “You’re not being demoted, or reprimanded, or… whatever you believed this was about. I requested this meeting in person with you because I, and the rest of the Board of Admirals, are very concerned. Looking over your past medical records, your health has been in steady decline for years now! It’s no secret to many of us, just how much you indulge yourself and what results it’s earned you.” He paused, shaking his head. “Now I feel I’ve been very patient over the years... willing to believe you would attempt to mend the issue yourself, but clearly, you’re not capable of doing so… Things are going to change now. I will not accept you putting your health at risk like this any longer. This belly of yours has to go!” S’ttel explained, poking Sa’Rahn’s bulging stomach with his finger to drive in his point.
“A-Admiral, Sir, please… let me explain. I-I can’t just-...” Sa’Rahn tried to speak.
Raising a hand to shush him, S’ttel continued. “I know you and your brother have propensity to bar’shra. I’m not as dim as you might think. I realize nothing can be done on that front, but your health is still top priority. That is not an option.” S’ttel turned tail and stepped behind his desk once more, letting his fingers slide across the slick glass top. “I have considered this issue heavily since the news of your attack weeks ago, I assure you. It would be simple enough to have our engineers set up a biometric-lock across ships connected to the 23rd Fleet, and completely restrict your access to all replicator systems, for instance. But... that would do little to the core of the issue we’re facing.”
S’ttel made sure to take notice of Sa’Rahn’s expression, now less frightened, but more concerned for what plans he had in store for him. Taking his seat once more, also motioning Sa’Rahn to sit as well, S’ttel continued, “Believe it or not, my friend, I do not want to be your dietitian. As such, I will not restrict your diet. However I do expect you to show some amount of restraint from now on, otherwise I will not hesitate to take more drastic action.”
Hesitating a moment to consider his options, only to be reminded he had none, Sa’Rahn slowly nodded reluctantly. He enjoyed food, he enjoyed eating! Even overeating at times. Food was a large part of who he was at heart, but truthfully, Sa’Rahn knew he had a problem. “I… can try.”
S’ttel harrumphed as he steepled his fingers, not particularly pleased with Sa’Rahn’s answer, but realized it was the best he would get for now. “In addition, I’ll be assigning you a daily exercise regimen, overseen by an officer on your ship I’ve already chosen.” Picking up a spare datapad that had been lying on his desk, S’ttel began to tap at its screen, unseen by Sa’Rahn, adding, “I’ll send the details to your Chief Medical Officer so he can get you on track. I recommend you coordinate with him to work out a schedule that best fits with your daily tasks.”
“Ah…” Sa’Rahn muttered, opening his mouth to speak. “Is an exercise program really necessary…?”
S’ttel visibly paused, raising an eyebrow at Sa’Rahn. “What do you think?”
Sa’Rahn closed his mouth.
“Between managing the entirety of the 23rd Fleet and my own shipboard tasks as acting Admiral and Captain of the Ark Royal, I have little spare time for anything else.” S’ttel continued. “Still, I’ll be sure to maintain an eye on your quarterly medical reports to see your progress.”
While greatly relieved he wasn’t being demoted or removed from the fleet, Sa’Rahn couldn’t help but audibly sigh in loathing at what he would now have to endure. There was a reason he had given up and chose not to exercise long ago. He hated it.
Ears perking at hearing his guest groan, deep lines of frustration chiseled into S’ttel’s forehead as firmly added, “Let me make myself clear, Sa’Rahn, if I haven’t thus far. If you have not lost a noticeable amount of all the blubber you’re carrying around by the next time I personally decide to check up on you, whenever that may be... I won’t hesitate to pluck you from your comfy position, haul your tail back to Cait, and have a drill sergeant work the tub off you with a year of continuous Militia military boot camp training. Do you understand?”
Sa’Rahn’s ears and whiskers dropped immediately as his heart sank into his stomach. “I-... Yes, Sir. Sorry.”
“Good.” S’ttel replied, taking another look at his PADD. “One last thing. I noticed over your records, you have had very few counseling sessions throughout your career. Can you tell me why?”
Hesitating to answer, Sa’Rahn just shook his head with a slight shrug. “I… never really felt the need to talk to anyone.”
“Mhmm…” S’ttel mumbled, unconvinced. “Regardless, in addition to the exercise regimen, you’ll also start attending regular mandatory counseling, along with a psychological evaluation with your ship’s counselor. Despite what I’m sure you’d tell me, I believe this problem runs a bit deeper than merely eating a touch too much too often.”
Opening his mouth to counter, Sa’Rahn quickly realized he ought not to reply, and simply nodded.
Returning the datapad to his desk, S’ttel leaned back in his chair, looking over his friend one last time before saying, “I realize now how this meeting must have unnerved you, and I apologize for that. Know however, these changes are for your own good. I have lost too many friends and ones I would consider family in the past. I would most certainly hate to count you among them, especially for such a stupid reason. I do hope you understand.”
“I… I understand.” Sa’Rahn admitted dryly.
“You’ll start your new regime first thing tomorrow. Thank you for coming Admiral, it was quite good to see you again. If you need anything, or wish to speak with me about anything, please do not hesitate.” The Admiral assured him, standing up from his chair. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I do have other work. That’ll be all. Dismissed.”
“Right.” Sa’Rahn mumbled as he also stood up, brushing himself off and discreetly using his tail to cover the gaping hole in the seat of his pants. He felt overwhelmed by the number of emotions he had suffered during the meeting. Ranging from the fear that had gripped him in a deathly hold for weeks now, to embarrassment, to guilt of being shown how much of a problem he had. As Sa’Rahn lumbered to the exit behind him, S’ttel’s words replayed in his mind, dredging up a memory he had forgotten. Pausing and turning back, he asked, “Er, Admiral. Did you really mean, ‘anything’?”
Raising his head curiously, S’ttel replied, “Yes, Sa’Rahn, I did. Is there something further you wish to discuss?”
Taking a breath, questioning if his sudden thought was really worth the time, Sa’Rahn continued, “As Fleet Admiral, you’re in charge of assigning tasks to ships within the 23rd Fleet, right?”
“That’s correct.”
“Would it… would it be possible, for the Alpha-Caitian IV to be returned to active duty in some capacity? I know she was pulled years ago to serve as an escort for me when I was promoted a while back.” Sa’Rahn asked.
“To what extent of active duty?” S’ttel questioned.
“I’m not sure really… nothing drastic. No front lines or anything! Just… I dunno. Cargo runs? Simple patrols around local systems? Stuff like that perhaps?”
“That would be doable, yes.” S’ttel nodded, but then added, “Although, as we have just discussed, Admiral, I’d estimate you’re about sixty kilos or more past being fit for active duty to command her.”
Grunting and giving his stomach a light pat, Sa’Rahn answered, “Oh, I know… I don’t want to command a ship again... I wasn’t speaking for myself.”
_________________
-Sa'Rahn's story will continue...
(sorry for not posting in so long)
This is the next installment following Close to Home. I hope you enjoy reading!
Leave a comment and let me know what you think please! I love reading them, anything is appreciated! :)
Silence had fallen for the night, bringing the deep hum of the ship’s ambient systems to nag at Sa’Rahn’s attention. Mumbled words escaped his mouth as his read over the datapad in his hand. His golden eyes were getting sore, scrolling left to right for what felt like hours now. Although trying his best to memorize what he was reading, Sa’Rahn found himself often having to go back and read over pages repeatedly, realizing he hadn’t retained a single word. Reaching to rub the bridge of his muzzle, he felt as if he were back in the Militia, being forced to learn topics of which he had no interest in. The barest hint of a smirk creased his lips as he grumbled at the pitiful fact he was choosing to do so now.
While attempting to get comfortable, Sa’Rahn had propped a few pillows against the wall behind the head of his bed, creating a soft area to lounge on. Rolling his head to the side brought Cait into view through the window. Barely a sliver of space showed past the curve of his home. His eyes casually darted over the green planet’s surface, as if for a moment he could see his family’s house from orbit. Sa’Rahn had returned from shore leave earlier in the day; three full weeks of lazing about and eating everything in sight had gone by far too quickly. He regretted not having requested more time off. Still, the Alpha-Caitian IV was due back at the fleet’s starbase soon. Apparently some of the crew had also requested shore leave; Sa’Rahn felt bad it hadn’t initially occurred to him that anyone other than he and his brother might have scheduled time off to see their families as well.
Having turned in for the evening, he wore only his briefs and a thin robe. Yawning and squirming a bit, he closed his eyes, laying the datapad on top his stomach. An opened bottle of Nuts n’ Bolts and a half-full stone mug he had been nursing sat on the side-table next to him. Before leaving Cait, his father had gifted both he and Morley full cases of the stuff from his family’s restaurant to enjoy. He couldn’t remember seeing it in the crate when he unpacked it, but the cup must have also been a gift from his father as well. It looked like one you might buy on Cait, handcrafted from natural stone. Leo probably made it in the Militia or something and forgot to tell him. While he would have preferred to have saved opening the first bottle for a special occasion, Sa’Rahn had felt compelled to in an attempt to soothe his fraying nerves. Ever since his visit to the hospital, an underlying fear had slowly crept up on him like a cancer. All things considered, Sa’Rahn was impressed he wasn’t more of a mess. Despite his efforts, nothing he had gone through sat right with him. Staring out the window blankly as emotion trickled out of him, he couldn’t help but dwell on what was to happen in the hours ahead.
Sa’Rahn had received notice that the U.S.S. Ark Royal was en route to rendezvous with the Alpha Caitian IV around Cait. He was scheduled to meet with Fleet Admiral S’ttel early tomorrow morning. Painfully deep creases furrowed his forehead as he frowned. An ensign had delivered to him a report, detailing some incident in the Alpha Quadrant that had delayed the Ark Royal up to now. He had only skimmed it briefly; Sa’Rahn already knew the reason for the Admiral’s visit.
Ever since his heart attack, Sa’Rahn had never before felt so acutely aware of his weight and overall health. Although better than while on Cait, he was still having some trouble breathing, and his spine and legs still ached. Not to mention he was more conscious of how his body felt as he moved now, or rather, was restricted to move due his size. The skin of his chest, around his heart, felt overly sensitive and sore to touch. There was no reason for it though; he was sure it was all in his head. Sa’Rahn couldn’t shake the underlying fear of another attack happening at any time. While the thought of speaking with his ship’s counselor had crossed his mind, he quickly dismissed it; he didn’t want a shrink telling him how he felt.
After taking another sip and returning to his reading, Sa’Rahn’s attention was abruptly split as one ear turned to the sound of his bathroom door sliding open. Iris casually sauntered out, combing her fingers through her black hair with a hot cloud of steam following behind. Having just stepped out of the shower, she was barefoot and wearing only short purple robe. Despite his meeting with the Admiral still weighing on his mind, Sa’Rahn smiled a little as he watched her. Moving over to his side of the bed, Iris leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Hey babe.” He purred, smiling and nuzzling her in return.
Cinching her robe as she stood, Iris paused to examine the drink and bottle sitting next to him. “Hmm, I wondered why your breath smelled like coconuts just then.” She grinned.
“Oh ah, sorry.” Sa’Rahn smirked, swallowing and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Hmm, it’s not often I see you drink.” Iris began to say as she walked around the bed to her own side. “Is it... safe, after...?”
“I asked the Doc, he said it was ok. This is all I’m having.” Sa’Rahn replied, raising the mug a little. Staring blankly into the pale creamy drink, he added, “I jus-... I just needed one tonight…”
The bed’s mattress gave slightly as Iris crawled up next to him, snuggling in close between his arm and side, using his soft chest as a pillow. Laying a hand over his middle, she sighed, “You’re worried about tomorrow.”
“I don’t really know what to think anymore…” Sa’Rahn mumbled, placing his drink back. “The Admiral is gonna demote me and remove me from the fleet. I’ll probably be reprimanded by Starfleet after that and discharged… You already know my history with that.” Closing his eyes, he leaned his cheek against her forehead, adding, “But… I’m more scared of what this will do to us. If I’m expelled from Starfleet… I don’t know what will happen to you. I’m scared...”
Sa’Rahn patiently waited for Iris to correct him, to reassure him that they would work things out together, and that everything would be alright. His whiskers slowly dipped as she remained silent, realizing she had nothing to make him feel better. Instead, Iris only cuddled him a little tighter, and tried to change the subject, “What’s that you’re reading?”
Looking down at the PADD silently a moment as his mind shifted gears, Sa’Rahn answered, “Grade one engineering schematics and programming manuals…”
“Mmm, sounds captivating...” Iris quipped with a striking amount of sarcasm before she laughed, “What in the name of the Four Deities are you reading engineering manuals for?”
“Well, I was originally reading about energy matter conversion technology. But, then I realized I needed to understand fundamental engineering and physics first… which I then realized I needed to learn basic engineering terms that I don’t know.” Sa’Rahn began to ramble. “When I’m demoted tomorrow, I’m probably going to be locked out of all the ship’s systems. I doubt even my quarter’s replicators will work for me... figured I should probably learn how to bypass security lockouts for when I get hungry.”
Iris smirked a little, mildly amused by his answer. Unable to determine if he was joking or not, she pressed further “You don’t think they’ll actually demote you do you? Besides, I thought you said before the Admiral was a friend of yours?”
Tapping his fingers across the PADD to open his messages, Sa’Rahn instinctively retrieved the communication Admiral S’ttel had sent him weeks ago. “’Admiral Noa’tek, I recently heard what happened…’, blah blah blah, ’... I am requesting a meeting with you to discuss and investigate the future extent of your duties and dietary privileges as soon as possible’.” He quoted to her robotically. “The Admiral’s a real militaristic guy. He keeps the fleet running in top shape and expects the best from his people...” Sa’Rahn paused, laying the PADD back on his stomach. “And then there’s me… a liability who got too fat for the easiest job they could stick me with.”
“That’s not true!” Iris readily countered, lightly hitting his arm. “Your job is important. You were assigned to manage the daily duty rosters and acquisitions because you’re smart, not lazy.”
Sa’Rahn scoffed at her answer, shaking his head. “I’ve heard the jokes among the crew... That they put me in a desk job because it was the only job with a chair wide enough to hold me.” Lifting the datapad back up with a grunt, effectively ending the conversation, he mumbled softly, “They aren’t wrong…”
Silence stretched on as Sa’Rahn continued to read, only to be interrupted as Iris’ hand slipped coyly around his middle to loosen his robe. His ears and whiskers fell limp almost instantly, feeling her fingernails running over his middle. He began to purr loudly, quickly aroused by the sensation! Even though it had only been a few weeks since they had been together, he had missed her touch dearly. Happily letting the datapad fall to his side, Sa’Rahn awkwardly turned to cradle her more closely to his side. “Mmm, that’s nice…” He whispered, words slurred from purring. Bending his neck down to nuzzle the top of her head, Sa’Rahn inhaled deeply, flooding his senses with her scent. The feeling was almost dizzying to him as her smell filled his lungs, sending a surge through his veins. It was good to have her in his arms once more.
As time passed, it became clear there was no fun to be had for the night, but that was fine. Sa'Rahn felt exhausted from the day anyway. The sheer amount weight in his chest pressing on him, along with Iris’ head and half her body atop him made it all the more difficult to breathe. But it was worth it to be with his mate once more. These were the moments he truly cherished.
However as the two continued to lay in each other's arms in peaceful silence, Sa’Rahn gradually grew unsettled. Her mind obviously elsewhere, Iris had been gently stroking his stomach affectionately as she cuddled him, her fingers sifting through his thick brown fur. Initially he thought nothing of it, as Iris often would rub his belly while in bed. Although still aroused, he couldn’t shake the feeling that her tenderness had slowly diminished, into what almost felt like ‘kneading’ him. Her hand seemed to be searching around his waist, feeling handfuls of his doughy flesh. The woman he loved next to him felt distant, stiffer in his arms than before. Even slightly buzzed from his drink, Sa’Rahn thought he could smell just the faintest change in her demeanor.
Unsure what to make of the situation, he pretended to act calm and unaware, mirroring Iris’s demeanor. Trying to roll his eyes down to her, he was only to see the top of her silky hair, unable to catch sight of her face clearly. Taking a deep breath and hoping he wouldn’t regret it, Sa’Rahn mumbled, “Hey, flower… is there something wrong?”
After waiting for what felt like an eternity, Iris’ hand returned to stroking the fur on his stomach more gently as she had before, she quietly answered, “No… it’s nothing.”
The tone of her voice wore away at him like voles. Even with the trouble he had reading emotions, it was almost impossible for even him to miss this. Almost certain it was intentional, Sa’Rahn didn’t stop to think before blindly probing further. “Babe, if something’s wrong-...”
“When were you going to tell me?” She interrupted, her voice soft but firm.
“Wh-... what?” Sa’Rahn stammered, a shiver crawling down his back.
Pushing up off the bed, out of his arms and just out of reach, Iris knelt across from him. Lip quivering slightly as her eyes narrowed, she continued, “On Cait. At the hospital. You didn’t take the treatment, did you?”
Ears flattened against his head, Sa’Rahn could feel his throat closing as his heart sped up. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to explain to her what had happened, letting her believe what she wanted to believe. “W-what? B-babe, no… I did take-... take the…” He stuttered, desperately overcompensating to reverse the situation. Her eyes piercing through him however, expression quickly growing as rigid as a statue, Sa’Rahn realized he couldn’t sidestep this. Who had even told her about the nanite treatment at all? Eyes darting around the room as he tried to gather his words, he hesitated, asking, “How did you-... who told you?”
“A friend of yours. Does it matter?” Iris shrugged coldly. “You told me you were going to take care of it. When were you going to tell me?”
Confusion and emotion clouding his better judgement, Sa’Rahn sat up as well, asking again far more loudly than intended, “Who told you!?”
Leaning away some as if in shock, Iris bit her lip and pointed a stern finger at him accusingly. “Don’t raise your voice at me!” She scolded, hints of tears welling in her voice.
Heart plunging into his stomach, Sa’Rahn felt a chill fall over him as he realized he had yelled at her by accident. Stretching out his hand to touch her he pleaded, “Babe! No, please…! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…!” Iris promptly turned her head away from him, her long hair sweeping over his fingers as she shrugged away. “I didn’t lie to you!” Sa’Rahn tried to backtrack. “I’m going to take care of-... I didn’t-... I… I don’t understand! Is this about my weight? Is that why you were grabbing at me a few minutes ago?”
Saying nothing, Iris only pursed her lips tighter.
“I don’t understand-... Is that it?” Sa’Rahn questioned. “I’ve put on almost thirty kilos since we met, but you never said anything! I thought you liked me like this-...?”
“This has nothing to do with that!” Iris snapped, turning back to him. “You know I like how big you are, but that doesn’t matter! You’re who I care about!” Crossing her arms tightly and looking away again as her eyes began to water, she added, “I never said anything about your size because you always made me think you were alright. You weren’t even going to tell me you’ve been on blood pressure medication for almost a year now, were you?!”
His jaw hanging open, Sa’Rahn merely blinked in bemusement. Ever since passing over one-hundred-thirty-five kilos nearly a year ago, he had been prescribed a weekly shot of Thiazene to manage his blood pressure by the ship’s doctor. He hadn’t told anyone of it, least of all Iris! How did she know? His mouth acting before his garbled thoughts could catch up, Sa’Rahn blurted out loudly once more, “Who’s telling you this!?”
“Why didn’t you tell me!?” Iris demanded, her voice cracking as she struggled to fight back tears. “You’re on permanent medication!”
“B-babe…”
“Why didn’t you take the nanite treatment back on Cait?” Iris begged.
“Because I can’t! You-... you have to remember, you were there! You saw what kind of hell I went through…” Sa’Rahn answered loudly. He started to tremble as anger and fear engulfed his memories. His skin itched as if ants were tunneling through his veins at the mere mention of the nanites. Vision blurring, he defensively spat out, “I can’t believe you would make me to go through that again! I wouldn’t make you relive what happened to your crew on the Muhalo agai-...!”
Before finishing his sentence, Sa’Rahn was met with a swift slap to his cheek! Yelping like a hurt kitten, he instinctively lifted his hand over his face defensively. His whole body was quaking in fear. The stinging in his cheek seemed to dragged him back to reality. He was in shock, unable to respond or even move; Iris had never struck him before. “Don’t you DARE bring them into this!” Iris cried, tears dripping down her face! “This isn’t about you, you idiot! What am I supposed to do when you die because you wouldn’t take care of yourself!? I am not going through that again!”
Rubbing his cheek as he recoiled from her accusation, Sa’Rahn opened his mouth to reply, only to discover no words came out.
“What hurts the most, is that you kept this all to yourself. You know? You never chose to tell me what you were going through!” Dropping her head some as she wiped the tears from her eyes, Iris added, “You never turned to me, and just let me believe you were ok, when you weren't. You let me feed into your addiction…”
“Iris…” Sa’Rahn whimpered, “I’m-... I’m sorry. Please… I don’t want you to be mad at me. I-I want to get better, ok?”
Slowly lifting her head just enough for her eyes to meet his, Iris’ expression began to soften some, believing his plea at first. As she looked him, her expression hardened once more, her lips twisting back to bitterness. “I’m not mad at you... I'm hurt, that you didn't trust me enough after all these years to tell me what was happening.” Wiping her hands down her face, Iris lightly got up from bed, pulling back the covers on her side before laying down next to him once more. “Enough of this... I'm going to bed.” She ended.
"Iris, flower, please! I’m sorry!" Sa'Rahn begged, reaching over to touch her shoulder, only for her to slink away from his grasp. “Iris…”
Sa’Rahn slouched in bed after minutes of his pleas being ignored, his voice grown tired. His thoughts spun wildly as downed the rest of his drink, trying to make sense of what just happened. The two of them had had spats before, usually over small things as any couple would, but this felt bigger. In the end though, none of their arguments really amounted to anything. He couldn’t stay mad at her, and she usually forgave his cluelessness. It was rare Iris would go to bed angry like this.
Sa’Rahn couldn’t help but lament over what he had said, and not said. The problem with his weight, and health deteriorating as a result, wasn’t new to him by any means. He lacked the will to do anything about it though. Sa'Rahn just accepted it as his lot in life, convinced that it wasn't something he could change. But how could he have been so selfish as to not trust her! Although she was his mate, he still only thought of himself it seemed. Whiskers quivering, he opened his mouth to speak, but only a pitiful, soft sound came out that could barely be heard. He sighed, unable see any way to fix this without changing himself, an impossible task.
“A friend of yours.” Her words replayed in his memory again and again. Who could have told Iris about his decision regarding the treatment, let alone his Thiazene medication? There were only a few suspects to list. Doctor M’Tolli certainly had no reason to break doctor-confidentiality. Perhaps Morley had spoken to her. After the schism between them on Cait, it was plain that his brother hated him. Sa'Rahn had to wonder if Morley wasn't above such a petty act.
Feeling like an intruder in his own bed, Sa'Rahn looked around the darkened room silently, debating if he should sleep elsewhere for the night. Perhaps one of the guest quarters, or even a holodeck. Maybe his office chair would suffice. Looking back at her, he couldn't tell if Iris truly had fallen asleep or was just pretending; she hadn’t made any attempt to kick him out after all. Unsure of what to do, Sa'Rahn merely accepted the situation as he undressed and crawled in bed next to her. Guessing she wanted to be left alone, he rolled over in bed, away from her. Memories of everything over the past weeks saturated his thoughts as he struggled to fall asleep.
What little sleep he was able to manage was shattered abruptly hours later as his combadge on the table next to him chirped to wake him. Despite his size, Sa’Rahn had learned through many failed attempts, how to get out of bed without waking Iris. It was difficult and time consuming, to be sure, to maneuver himself off the mattress without disturbing her. Or perhaps she had merely had grown accustomed to him getting up earlier than she did. Before standing, Sa’Rahn chose to sit on the side of the bed a minute to catch his breath. Scratching behind his ear with a yawn, he silently looked over his shoulder at his mate, still fast asleep. She looked so peaceful, he thought. Reaching out, Sa’Rahn gently stroked her hair, careful not to wake her.
Making sure to grab his discarded uniform, Sa’Rahn snuck into the bathroom to clean up and prepare for his meeting with Admiral S’ttel. More often than not, whenever he was changing or grooming himself, Iris would playfully try to sneak a peek. She wasn’t very subtle about it, not that she tried to be. While Sa’Rahn knew whenever she was watching, he was particularly glad this time she didn’t have to witness him struggling with his pants for almost twenty minutes! His frustration and embarrassment only grew, when after finally succeeding, the button shot off after a single breath, ricocheting around the bathroom like a stray bullet.
The room echoed with muffled grunts and curses. He knew he had put on weight while on shore leave, but he hadn’t considered just how much. He couldn’t even close his jacket anymore! He considered giving up and just replicating a new uniform, but ultimately decided there wasn’t enough time left. Besides, he reasoned in disgust, he was about to be discharged from the fleet based on his health already. The last thing he needed was another damning replicator log to drive another nail in the coffin.
Winded and sweaty after close to an hour, Sa’Rahn gently pinned on his badge and pips. Brushing off his suit, he eyed himself in the bathroom mirror. “Ergh…” He groaned, struggling to breathe a little. His uniform looked just as tight as it felt! Sa’Rahn started to turn to better his view, but quickly realized that was probably a bad idea. In general, he did his best to avoid bending over or twisting much, for fear he might rip something. He could already feel his belt was one deep breath away from snapping. Realizing there wasn’t anything more he could do for now, he made a mental note to be extra careful today.
Silently sneaking through his quarters, he couldn’t help but pause as guilt over his actions last night gripped him. Turning back slightly and looking to his bed, Sa'Rahn stared at his love. The bitterness on her face had disappeared overnight. Her hair was a mess and sprawled all over her pillow, while the sheets only partially covering her. He was lucky to have her in his life, and cursed himself for taking her for granted. He was always putting himself first, forgetting to think about it or how it might affect her. Was, he was just going to leave her like this?
He was already running late, but Mother’s Cubs have mercy if he wasn’t going to at least try and do something to fix what he’d broken! Sa’Rahn quickly grew thankful he had spent the evening before reading engineering manuals. It took a little longer than it should have, but before leaving, Sa’Rahn managed to program one of his quarter’s replicators to materialize a fresh breakfast for Iris for after he left. Uttaberry crêpes and thick cut Terran bacon to wake her. His only hope was it would act as some kind of apology on his part.
More time than he realized had slipped through his fingers while struggling with his uniform. Only seconds after leaving his quarters his combadge chirped loudly, startling him and causing his hackles to rise. “Go ahead.” Sa’Rahn responded dryly after catching his breath, tapping his badge.
“Admiral, the U.S.S. Ark Royal arrived approximately one hour and forty-eight minutes ago. Admiral S’ttel has requested your presence aboard his ship.” Commander Kent’s gruff voice replied.
Resting his furry face in his palm while making his way to the transporters as briskly as his size allowed, Sa’Rahn sighed, “I don’t suppose he said why to you?”
“No, Sir.”
“Of course not…” Sa’Rahn mumbled, hoping the Commander didn’t hear him. Taking a breath, attempting to hide the fear cracking his voice, he continued, “Tell him I’m on my way.”
“Aye, Sir.”
The trek from his quarters down to the transporter room was relatively short. But today, it felt excruciatingly long, as the world seemed to close in around him. The reality of his situation was finally starting to sink in. Reprimands, and likely a discharge was all Sa’Rahn could picture. Fear’s grip was growing tighter around his throat like a noose. He cursed his brother for spreading the news of his heart attack, it was his fault he was being investigated now! Why did Morley have to say anything? But then memories of just why his brother likely acted so resurfaced. In the end, Sa’Rahn didn’t have the heart to blame him, not fully at least. Although it seemed fate’s hand had elevated him to his current position, Sa’Rahn knew he was effectively the reason Morley was been benched as a Captain. Morley’s duties were minimal at best nowadays, he hardly had a job at all anymore. He had one objective that remained, tend to Admiral Noa’Tek’s needs. Intentional or not, Sa’Rahn believed he was to blame.
Body and mouth reflexively went through the motions as Sa’Rahn stepped onto the transporter pad as instructed, his mind lightyears away. Not wanting to witness his body deconstruct and re-materialize in another place as light began to engulf him, Sa’Rahn closed his eyes briefly. Perhaps there might still be some way to salvage the situation somehow. Sa’Rahn knew his own fate was already sealed, but even if he couldn’t save himself, he had to do something to help Iris. He couldn’t let his only love become another casualty of his carelessness! It was in that instant that Sa’Rahn realized he only had one choice remaining. After a cold flush surged over his skin, giving him goosebumps, his train of thought was quickly derailed as an unfamiliar voice spoke to him, “Welcome aboard, Admiral Noa’Tek!”
Hearing his title, Sa’Rahn opened his eyes to find a peppy young woman with rosy short hair standing opposite him. Taking in his surroundings for a moment, he replied, a little befuddled, “Um, thank you, Commander…?”
The girl grinned with a bit of a chuckle, adding, “My apologies Admiral, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Commander Flores. Admiral S’ttel’s currently waiting for you. Please, if you’ll follow me I’ll take you to his office.”
Hiding his anxiety and politely placing his hands behind his back as he was escorted, Sa’Rahn couldn’t help but look around him. The halls and general interior of the Ark Royal differed greatly from his own preconceived ideas. A Presidio class heavy cruiser, mainly designed for defending the front lines, he had expected the ship to be far more utilitarian, cramped and militaristic. While wildly different in size and class, his own time on the Muhalo years ago had given him the impression that most, if not all, combat vessels were built the same way. The absurd possibility he might not fit through the ship’s doors had even crossed his mind! But like most cruiser class starships, the halls of the Ark Royal were similar to what he was accustomed to already. Slightly dimmed lights brightening the walls from above, denim colored carpeting spanning the floor, the occasional mounted panels showing ship systems and information were dotted about. Granted, the ship in general felt a little more narrow in size, but it wasn’t terribly noticeable.
Unlike his own ship, the Ark Royal housed a far more diverse range of species. The crew of the Alpha-Caitian IV was of course comprised of a variety of species as well, however the percentage of Caitians vastly outnumbered any other on board. There was no particular reason for it, it was merely just how things ended up. For a brief moment, he had almost forgotten most starships were populated with more diversity! He felt it awkward the young woman leading him had surprised him so much.
A short turbolift ride and walk across the Ark Royal’s sparse bridge later, Commander Flores motioned Sa’Rahn into Admiral S’ttel’s open ready room. Unlike his own, the Admiral’s office was a triangular shape, adjacent to the bridge. Overall it was somewhat small, though furnished with a wide glass desk and comfortable-looking couch and chair-piece off to the side. Most noticeable of all however was the large fish tank embedded into the opposing wall, a number of small aquatic creatures swimming about inside. Sa’Rahn felt his stomach gurgle upon seeing it, reminding him he hadn’t eaten breakfast.
“Admiral, Admiral Noa’Tek has arrived.” Flores declared as Sa’Rahn stepped inside.
Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, staring out the only window in the room, stood a strong, blond Caitian, Fleet Admiral S’ttel. Dressed in a spotless Starfleet uniform, the Caitian stood roughly about the same height as Sa’Rahn, slim and fit. His sandy-tipped mane was trimmed close to his head, the fur on his jawline and chin swept out handsomely. “Ah, Admiral! I’ve been expecting you. Thank you Flores, that will be all.” Admiral S’ttel spoke up, offering a mannerly smile as the Commander left, the door closing behind her. Nodding a little, he gestured to a few free chairs sitting opposite his desk. “It’s good to see you up and about. I’m glad you came. Please have a seat.”
Over the years he had known the Admiral, Sa’Rahn found S’ttel to be very disciplined person, firm in his convictions and loyal to those he trusted. While he hadn’t necessarily believed the meeting was going to be the equivalent to an execution, he had fully expected a more serious tone from the Caitian, leading up to his inevitable expulsion from the fleet. Sa’Rahn silently sat down and placed his hands in his lap, trying to hide just how nervous he was. He was a bit unsure of what to make of the Admiral’s mild attitude.
Only adding to the anxiety building up inside him, as he sat Sa’Rahn heard a quick but shrill ripping sound from behind him! His ears flattened against his skull as his hackles rose, feeling the draft of what had just happened. Admiral S’ttel clearly pretended not to notice the embarrassing sound, for Sa’Rahn’s sake. Flushed red beneath his fur, Sa’Rahn tried to scoot in his seat, attempting to conceal the issue underneath him. Of course doing so only incited another, slightly longer rip than before. Quickly opting to cut his losses, he stopped squirming.
S’ttel continued to stand by the window a while longer, pausing to study his portly guest. Although Sa’Rahn was doing his best to conceal it, his body language and scent easily gave away just how frightened he was. Taking note silently, S’ttel turned his head to gaze out into space once more, saying, “I’m disappointed, really. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen Cait... I had forgotten just how beautiful our planet is.” Clasping his hands behind his back and pacing over to his desk, the Admiral continued, “I should schedule some shore leave while the Ark Royal is in orbit. Perhaps I can make some time to see family briefly, I haven’t visited home in some years...”
The perceived attempts to place Sa’Rahn at ease weren’t working, as he merely nodded and made a sound of agreeance.
Sitting in his own chair across from Sa’Rahn, S’ttel propped one leg on top the other and sighed, making himself comfortable. “What of you, though, Sa’Rahn?” S’ttel asked. “I understand you just returned from your own leave on Cait to visit family. How are they all doing?”
Trying not to make eye contact awkward, Sa’Rahn nodded again. “Good, good… They’re doing good, thanks.”
“Heh, it’s been some time since we spoke of our families. Remind me, your father runs a restaurant, correct? I do hope you got to visit while you were away.” S’ttel chuckled. “What I would give to have some fresh shuris… It’s a shame modern replicators don’t do our culture’s food justice.”
“I um… yes. I did get to visit my father’s restaurant...” Sa’Rahn replied. “...Once or twice.” He quickly added as his ears fell flat from guilt, trying to cover over just how much he had indulged himself. In truth, Sa’Rahn had given into his desires and eaten at his family’s restaurant more than a dozen times while away.
Eyeing him over as he tapped his finger on the armrest of his chair, S’ttel could sense Sa’Rahn wasn’t being completely forthcoming. Taking a second to gather his words, he continued, “Yes… As your friend, Sa’Rahn, I wanted to ask you how you are faring now... after what happened. How are you?”
And so it was starting, Sa’Rahn thought to himself. “I’m, not sure, to be honest…” He gulped, scratching his neck nervously. “I’m doing better, Doc tells me everything is fine. It doesn’t really feel real though, maybe because I don’t remember all of it happening. If that makes sense.”
“I imagine it must have been frightening, for anyone.” S’ttel nodded, his eyes roaming about his office as he spoke. “I can only imagine what it must have been like for your family as well. I do hope they too are recovering from such a scare.”
“Thank you.” Sa’Rahn added.
“Of course.” S’ttel replied, opening a palm as if to hold his words before speaking. “Again, thank you for coming. I felt, after everything that’s happened, it would be a good step to speak to you in person. Something like this should be handled in person and not over a video link..”
Sa’Rahn clenched as he could feel cold sweat beginning to seep into his undershirt. His voice shaky, he asked, “What is it exactly y-... you… wanted to see me about, Sir?”
“The news of your recent attack certainly came as quite a shock to me, as well as the rest of the Board of the 23rd Fleet.” S’ttel began to explain. “As glad as - not only I am - but we all are that you have recovered, Sa’Rahn, the underlying issues of this aren’t something that can be ignored any longer, I’m afraid. After careful consideration as the presiding Fleet Admiral, there need to be a few changes…”
His heart sank as S’ttel spoke. A part of him had wanted to believe he was overreacting, that he would somehow, miraculously get off with merely a slap on the wrist. Eyes blankly staring, his teeth grinded against each other, Sa’Rahn tried to muster the courage he needed. While beaming aboard, he had realized Iris’ custody depended on his status as an Admiral. If he was to be discharged from the fleet, or worse, she would likely be returned to Starfleet Intelligence. However, if other circumstances were met, as far as he could remember, her care would return to that of his previous Captain, Fort’yive. Memory of the exact details were lost to him, but it was the only gamble he had to help her left. “... I understand.” Sa’Rahn replied finally.
All he had to do was resign.
Raising his hands to his neck, he struggled a little to unfastened the admiral pips attached to his collar. Fondling the small golden buttons in his fingers, debating for a brief moment if he could really do this, Sa’Rahn sighed, leaning forward to gently place them on the desk in front of him.
The room grew silent, leaving only the dull hum of plasma conduits and Sa’Rahn’s chair creaking under his weight to fill the void. Leaning back in his seat and clasping his hands over his stomach, S’ttel stared at the pips in front of him for what felt like minutes. His whiskers fluttering in frustration as he rose a single eyebrow in disbelief, S’ttel finally looked up to his comrade. “Stand up.” He ordered, also rising from his seat.
Sa’Rahn let out a sigh of anguish as he rose, believing he was about to be escorted out by security. His career was over, he would never serve in Starfleet again. Flashes from the Academy, resentful and painful memories, flooded his thoughts. What had he just done? He had thought nothing of himself! Where could he go now, what could he do? But, waking him from his pity, S’ttel walked around the side of his desk, picking up the discarded pips. Stepping up close to Sa’Rahn, he calmly reached forward to reattach them to his collar. “I… er... wh-... “ Sa’Rahn stammered in confusion as he helplessly watched.
“I want you… to think. About what you just tried to do.” S’ttel said, struggling to fit his fingers between Sa’Rahn’s blubbery neck and his collar to fasten the pips. “And never react like that again!”
“I… I don’t…” Sa’Rahn mumbled.
“You had me puzzled from the moment you stepped into my office. What exactly did you think this meeting was about?” S’ttel huffed, taking a step back to see if the pips were as straight as he could make them. “Did you believe I asked you here to scold you like a naughty cub? This meeting was to help you, Sa’Rahn.”
“...I don’t understand.” Sa’Rahn began to ask, still confused. “You came here to r-reprimand me, and remove me from the board?”
“Why in the name of the Gods would I do that!?” S’ttel grunted, exasperated as he tried to calm himself. “I consider you a friend, Sa’Rahn. Frankly, I’m insulted you would chose to believe my response to you suffering a heart attack, would be to throw your career out an airlock because you’ve made mistakes.”
Still trying to process it all, Sa’Rahn asked again, “So… this means you’re not going to-...?”
“You don’t want to finish that sentence, Admiral.” S’ttel interrupted sternly.
“...Yes, Sir.” Sa’Rahn gulped.
S’ttel sighed, rubbing the bridge of his muzzle. “You’re not being demoted, or reprimanded, or… whatever you believed this was about. I requested this meeting in person with you because I, and the rest of the Board of Admirals, are very concerned. Looking over your past medical records, your health has been in steady decline for years now! It’s no secret to many of us, just how much you indulge yourself and what results it’s earned you.” He paused, shaking his head. “Now I feel I’ve been very patient over the years... willing to believe you would attempt to mend the issue yourself, but clearly, you’re not capable of doing so… Things are going to change now. I will not accept you putting your health at risk like this any longer. This belly of yours has to go!” S’ttel explained, poking Sa’Rahn’s bulging stomach with his finger to drive in his point.
“A-Admiral, Sir, please… let me explain. I-I can’t just-...” Sa’Rahn tried to speak.
Raising a hand to shush him, S’ttel continued. “I know you and your brother have propensity to bar’shra. I’m not as dim as you might think. I realize nothing can be done on that front, but your health is still top priority. That is not an option.” S’ttel turned tail and stepped behind his desk once more, letting his fingers slide across the slick glass top. “I have considered this issue heavily since the news of your attack weeks ago, I assure you. It would be simple enough to have our engineers set up a biometric-lock across ships connected to the 23rd Fleet, and completely restrict your access to all replicator systems, for instance. But... that would do little to the core of the issue we’re facing.”
S’ttel made sure to take notice of Sa’Rahn’s expression, now less frightened, but more concerned for what plans he had in store for him. Taking his seat once more, also motioning Sa’Rahn to sit as well, S’ttel continued, “Believe it or not, my friend, I do not want to be your dietitian. As such, I will not restrict your diet. However I do expect you to show some amount of restraint from now on, otherwise I will not hesitate to take more drastic action.”
Hesitating a moment to consider his options, only to be reminded he had none, Sa’Rahn slowly nodded reluctantly. He enjoyed food, he enjoyed eating! Even overeating at times. Food was a large part of who he was at heart, but truthfully, Sa’Rahn knew he had a problem. “I… can try.”
S’ttel harrumphed as he steepled his fingers, not particularly pleased with Sa’Rahn’s answer, but realized it was the best he would get for now. “In addition, I’ll be assigning you a daily exercise regimen, overseen by an officer on your ship I’ve already chosen.” Picking up a spare datapad that had been lying on his desk, S’ttel began to tap at its screen, unseen by Sa’Rahn, adding, “I’ll send the details to your Chief Medical Officer so he can get you on track. I recommend you coordinate with him to work out a schedule that best fits with your daily tasks.”
“Ah…” Sa’Rahn muttered, opening his mouth to speak. “Is an exercise program really necessary…?”
S’ttel visibly paused, raising an eyebrow at Sa’Rahn. “What do you think?”
Sa’Rahn closed his mouth.
“Between managing the entirety of the 23rd Fleet and my own shipboard tasks as acting Admiral and Captain of the Ark Royal, I have little spare time for anything else.” S’ttel continued. “Still, I’ll be sure to maintain an eye on your quarterly medical reports to see your progress.”
While greatly relieved he wasn’t being demoted or removed from the fleet, Sa’Rahn couldn’t help but audibly sigh in loathing at what he would now have to endure. There was a reason he had given up and chose not to exercise long ago. He hated it.
Ears perking at hearing his guest groan, deep lines of frustration chiseled into S’ttel’s forehead as firmly added, “Let me make myself clear, Sa’Rahn, if I haven’t thus far. If you have not lost a noticeable amount of all the blubber you’re carrying around by the next time I personally decide to check up on you, whenever that may be... I won’t hesitate to pluck you from your comfy position, haul your tail back to Cait, and have a drill sergeant work the tub off you with a year of continuous Militia military boot camp training. Do you understand?”
Sa’Rahn’s ears and whiskers dropped immediately as his heart sank into his stomach. “I-... Yes, Sir. Sorry.”
“Good.” S’ttel replied, taking another look at his PADD. “One last thing. I noticed over your records, you have had very few counseling sessions throughout your career. Can you tell me why?”
Hesitating to answer, Sa’Rahn just shook his head with a slight shrug. “I… never really felt the need to talk to anyone.”
“Mhmm…” S’ttel mumbled, unconvinced. “Regardless, in addition to the exercise regimen, you’ll also start attending regular mandatory counseling, along with a psychological evaluation with your ship’s counselor. Despite what I’m sure you’d tell me, I believe this problem runs a bit deeper than merely eating a touch too much too often.”
Opening his mouth to counter, Sa’Rahn quickly realized he ought not to reply, and simply nodded.
Returning the datapad to his desk, S’ttel leaned back in his chair, looking over his friend one last time before saying, “I realize now how this meeting must have unnerved you, and I apologize for that. Know however, these changes are for your own good. I have lost too many friends and ones I would consider family in the past. I would most certainly hate to count you among them, especially for such a stupid reason. I do hope you understand.”
“I… I understand.” Sa’Rahn admitted dryly.
“You’ll start your new regime first thing tomorrow. Thank you for coming Admiral, it was quite good to see you again. If you need anything, or wish to speak with me about anything, please do not hesitate.” The Admiral assured him, standing up from his chair. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I do have other work. That’ll be all. Dismissed.”
“Right.” Sa’Rahn mumbled as he also stood up, brushing himself off and discreetly using his tail to cover the gaping hole in the seat of his pants. He felt overwhelmed by the number of emotions he had suffered during the meeting. Ranging from the fear that had gripped him in a deathly hold for weeks now, to embarrassment, to guilt of being shown how much of a problem he had. As Sa’Rahn lumbered to the exit behind him, S’ttel’s words replayed in his mind, dredging up a memory he had forgotten. Pausing and turning back, he asked, “Er, Admiral. Did you really mean, ‘anything’?”
Raising his head curiously, S’ttel replied, “Yes, Sa’Rahn, I did. Is there something further you wish to discuss?”
Taking a breath, questioning if his sudden thought was really worth the time, Sa’Rahn continued, “As Fleet Admiral, you’re in charge of assigning tasks to ships within the 23rd Fleet, right?”
“That’s correct.”
“Would it… would it be possible, for the Alpha-Caitian IV to be returned to active duty in some capacity? I know she was pulled years ago to serve as an escort for me when I was promoted a while back.” Sa’Rahn asked.
“To what extent of active duty?” S’ttel questioned.
“I’m not sure really… nothing drastic. No front lines or anything! Just… I dunno. Cargo runs? Simple patrols around local systems? Stuff like that perhaps?”
“That would be doable, yes.” S’ttel nodded, but then added, “Although, as we have just discussed, Admiral, I’d estimate you’re about sixty kilos or more past being fit for active duty to command her.”
Grunting and giving his stomach a light pat, Sa’Rahn answered, “Oh, I know… I don’t want to command a ship again... I wasn’t speaking for myself.”
_________________
-Sa'Rahn's story will continue...
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