An interesting start with good world building and a character wrapped up in family devices instead of hashed out cambellean heroes Journey plot Sound beginning, it has a lot of growth room and potential.
You do though have a common Laurence blank sentence structure though. Watch out for this to break up the redundancy of some of your sentences.

Thanks for the comment and glad to see someone likes it :)
I do see that I have the Laurence did this Laurence did that issue and yeah that dose need working on now u mention it
I'll have a look over it again
Cheers :)