"Hello and welcome to the park tour! My name is Jo, and I'll be your coach driver and tour guide today."

'Woah, um... I'm sorry... Uh... You're not exactly what I was expecting.'

"There's no need to apologize. It's a perfectly natural reaction."

'It's probably rude to ask, but...'

"What am I?"

'Yes. No! I mean, you're a centaur, obviously, but how on Earth is that possible?'

"Don't let the legs fool you. I'm a human most of the time, except when I'm on the job."

'Come again?'

"To cut costs, the park entered into agreement with a local company that was tinkering with genetic enhancement. They turned all of the tour guides into centaurs, making us able to do two jobs at the same time."

'They couldn't afford the horses, but they could afford THIS?'

"It's actually a great deal. You don't realize how expensive it is to keep a half dozen horses around. There's the cost of food, maintaining the stable, paying a small staff to tend to them...it adds up. The park became a financial supporter for the science lab, and in exchange they gave us vials that turn us into centaurs for about eight hours at a time. I inject myself in the morning, become a centaur, then turn back to normal at the end of my shift."

'That's amazing, but scary at the same time. I'd be terrified to do something like that.'

"I was definitely nervous about it at first, but I saw how much fun the other guides were having, and how much attention they were getting. We're a real crowd-pleaser. It's done great business for the park."

'It's no wonder. You're very beautiful.'

"Thank you. It's the tail, right? I spend twenty minutes combing it every day."

'It's the perfect color for you.'

"For somebody who's never met a centaur before, you sure know how to flatter one! So, what say we get your tour started?"

'Sounds perfect.'

"Great! Now then, welcome to the park tour. My name is Jo, and I'll be your coach driver and tour guide today. Please remember to keep your arms and legs inside the wagon at all times, and also, please do your best to keep your eyes on the scenery and not my expertly-combed tail. You paid for the tour and I'd hate to see you waste the money."

'Jo, believe me, whatever they charged wasn't nearly enough!'