The news was an absolute shock to me and even after a few days now, i'm finding it still very hard to come to terms with the passing of  Tzup.

Tzup and I were a couple for several years. He was my first relationship and we lived together. I was 18 when Tzup and I entered each others lives. I was in all sense of the word a kid whom was entering the transition into adult hood. Full of responsibilities and taking that big step.

Tzup made an impact on me that words nor images could ever illustrate. From teaching me how to cut an onion, to manage taxes and accounts and teaching me to drive. These everyday life lessons won't be taken for granted knowing who gave that knowledge.

Whilst we had both already been in the fandom for a few years, it was was with Tzup that the world of fursuiting really opened up for me. I created and built both versions of his fursuits as well as my own. Be it in a public space or at a convention, the energy and joy that the wuff spread was infectious.
Being creative and the performer I am today in the community has a lot to do with Tzup.

During my years as a pro mascot for a football team (The Richmond Tigers) Tzup came along to every game, every event as my handler. When I became a mascot for a second team in the same league (Brisbane Lions). Tzup would fill in as the other mascot when schedules conflicted. These times together doing this job are some of the best that I will always cherish. I know he told me he was thankful for being able to do that with me.
Tzup never had to do this, but enjoyed sharing that part of my life and interest with me.

There were months during our relationship that Tzup would travel to the USA. I'd stay, look after our home, mail, the dog and so on. I was always so happy when he would return home.

I was introduced to old friends of his, including his ex wife and daughter. Everyone was so welcoming and the weekly pub trivia nights where always something i'd look forward to with Tzup and the gang. We were pretty good at it!
Road trips over the country where always a wonderful get away.

Now, no relationship is perfect. Perhaps it was the age gap that caused the end of our relationship after many years. I'd matured to a point where I guess I wanted to explore and do more. 18 into my early 20's was a very early age to "settle down". We simply started to grow apart as a couple and decided our lives where going in different directions and a friendship would be better suited.
We always stayed in contact for the decade that followed.

I'm thankful I got to interact with him and properly meet Inuko his current partner at MFF in my hotel room. Just sit down and chat, it was nice to do that again.
I spoke with Tzup online days before his passing. Reminiscing about old times, old friends and the fandom. We spoke very honestly to one another and discussed a close friends recent passing only a few weeks ago, Marko Rat.
This conversion with Tzup and his passing has me reflecting on my own mortality.

I am handling the situation as best I can. It was hard to come to terms that given my financial situation I was unable to return to Australia to be with family and friends during this time. Nor be able to attend his service.
I am very thankful Nbowa was able to fly out to be there though. That lion is a very important chapter in his life and in mine.

It was a story Tzup told me that gave me some solace about not being able to attend.
When his father died, Tzup's mother was upset with him for not wanting to view the body.
Tzup didn't want the last image of his father to be that. He'd rather remember him alive.
Not being able to attend in some way means i'll only ever remember Tzup for how he lived and not how he died.
At least, that is my way of coping with the situation.

There are physical items I hope are still around that where important during our relationship together that I can hold on to. Though, as I said the life lessons, skills and impact he had on me is something that will be with me for the rest of my life.


So, here is to you Tzu-pei!
May myself and others live a life that was as carefree and as full as yours.
You were taken from us all to soon, but accomplished and experienced far more than any of us could with a life time.

I love you Tzup.