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Story Description: A bar stool gets more than he bargained for when a carelessly flatulent utahraptor decides to use him for what he's made for.
Author's Note: The story is a little long, so I hope you don't mind. I probably spent too much time on (unnecessary) details, and it does take a while to get to the "good part." Also, I'm probably not going to continue this story. Other than that, I'd really like to here your feedback. Whether it would be spelling, grammar, punctuation, character consistency, anything. Hope you enjoy my funky idea for a story!
Story Description: A bar stool gets more than he bargained for when a carelessly flatulent utahraptor decides to use him for what he's made for.
Author's Note: The story is a little long, so I hope you don't mind. I probably spent too much time on (unnecessary) details, and it does take a while to get to the "good part." Also, I'm probably not going to continue this story. Other than that, I'd really like to here your feedback. Whether it would be spelling, grammar, punctuation, character consistency, anything. Hope you enjoy my funky idea for a story!
Google Drive File w/ story -> Purpose
Category Story / Fetish Other
Species Dinosaur
Size 1125 x 800px
File Size 129.9 kB
Hooooooly heck, this story is wonderful! OUO I guess I can't really say that I remember seeing many stories about sentient inanimate objects being sat on so this was a coolio breath of fresh air (granted it wasn't from Tekel (but to be honest, I wouldn't mind that), heheh). The unraveling of both the world and some of the characters was fun to learn, The descriptiveness of most, if not all the scenes was impressive, I just..
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I love it. .u. I know you said you possibly wouldn't be continuing this and I understand, though I'd be real quick to read any followups!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I love it. .u. I know you said you possibly wouldn't be continuing this and I understand, though I'd be real quick to read any followups!
I'm glad you liked it. By the way, thanks for the revisions. I used most of them, and I think it makes the parts of the story sound better. Especially the ones I knew didn't sound good but left in anyway. As for a sequel, probably not necessary seeing how the story raps itself up pretty good. It's left up to the reader whether New came to terms with his purpose or not.
Also, shouldn't that be "remember reading many stories" and not "remember seeing many stories." Anyways, thanks again for the feedback.
Also, shouldn't that be "remember reading many stories" and not "remember seeing many stories." Anyways, thanks again for the feedback.
This is one hell of a good idea, goddamn o//o I really like the interaction between New and Oldie at the end too - the one who's just starting to realise the Hell he's in for and the one who has lived through it and can only accept it! That sorta thing hits a few buttons for me <3 and like Note says, the descriptions, especially after the farts - really well done there :P
Something I will say regarding the formatting, and honestly when I think about it it COULD be just me (but I don't think so o.o) is line breaks between paragraphs does make it a little easier on the eye to read! If you copy/paste from a word doc then there should be something that lets you change from 'normal' to 'no spacing' on the default thing so the format follows on correctly! I don't have Microsoft Word atm so sorry I can't be clearer but, yeah! Hope to see more from you, once again an enjoyable read :3
Something I will say regarding the formatting, and honestly when I think about it it COULD be just me (but I don't think so o.o) is line breaks between paragraphs does make it a little easier on the eye to read! If you copy/paste from a word doc then there should be something that lets you change from 'normal' to 'no spacing' on the default thing so the format follows on correctly! I don't have Microsoft Word atm so sorry I can't be clearer but, yeah! Hope to see more from you, once again an enjoyable read :3
Well, I don't use Microsoft Word to write my stories. All I have is Google Drive on my phone to use. I had the paragraphs indented, but for some reason they didn't show up when I posted the story. So, now I've spaced out the paragraphs and used stars to indicate a more clear sign of changing of time and place. I hope that's easier to read.
Thanks for the feedback and I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks for the feedback and I'm glad you liked it.
Man, this was a really fun story to read!
I like the whole setting of it as a whole, I really liked the idea of living chairs and stools, it's not something you read everyday but is definitely something I very much approve of!
And unlike most people, I admire the fact that you took the time to physically describe the little details of your characters, I was truly able to believe I was in each room and able to picture the characters down to the last detail!
Had a pretty good ending as well, I kinda feel sorry for New though, all this because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. I can't say I blame him though by the way Tekel was practically teasing him.
Overall, I really enjoyed it, I find myself coming back just to read out little snip-its of it. You my good sir are an artist!
I like the whole setting of it as a whole, I really liked the idea of living chairs and stools, it's not something you read everyday but is definitely something I very much approve of!
And unlike most people, I admire the fact that you took the time to physically describe the little details of your characters, I was truly able to believe I was in each room and able to picture the characters down to the last detail!
Had a pretty good ending as well, I kinda feel sorry for New though, all this because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. I can't say I blame him though by the way Tekel was practically teasing him.
Overall, I really enjoyed it, I find myself coming back just to read out little snip-its of it. You my good sir are an artist!
Wow! Thank you! I really appreciate hearing that. It means a lot to me. :)
I'm happy you liked the details. I thought they may have been a bit excessive, but so far, no one has complained. But in a way, I kind of did it on purpose. When describing Tekel's lovely hindquarters, it was supposed to get the sense of admiration and overwhelming desire that New had, which then leads to his uncontrollable urge to say something. Oddly enough, the teasing was probably my favorite part of this story.
As for the premise of the story, I thought people would find it weird. I mean, a society of raptors? Taking seats? What the hell? But the idea reminds me of a piece of artwork you did prior to when I wrote this (Link: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/22921600/ ). I can't say it was a direct inspiration, but it was certainly something I thought of when writing it.
Anyways, I am glad it's a story you can come back to. It took two months to make, but that's just the grand illusion of procrastination.
I'm happy you liked the details. I thought they may have been a bit excessive, but so far, no one has complained. But in a way, I kind of did it on purpose. When describing Tekel's lovely hindquarters, it was supposed to get the sense of admiration and overwhelming desire that New had, which then leads to his uncontrollable urge to say something. Oddly enough, the teasing was probably my favorite part of this story.
As for the premise of the story, I thought people would find it weird. I mean, a society of raptors? Taking seats? What the hell? But the idea reminds me of a piece of artwork you did prior to when I wrote this (Link: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/22921600/ ). I can't say it was a direct inspiration, but it was certainly something I thought of when writing it.
Anyways, I am glad it's a story you can come back to. It took two months to make, but that's just the grand illusion of procrastination.
You're most welcome! ^^
And I personally don't think the details were to excessive, if anything they were perfect, just enough to give you an idea of how each character and room looked.
Heheh, no doubt I do love teasing, especially when I'm role playing, and I can safely say that being teased and kept in suspense is one of my favourites of any story to be honest, it makes the long wait more worthwhile.
And I will admit, while it is strange, it's not something I disapprove of. I quite like the idea. I actually LOVE it when people give the perspective of the seat (in the sense that, you know, they stress under weight, how they creeeeak and groan from the stress of being sat on, and how a characters rump gets comfortable on them) not sure if I'm explaining that well enough but I still love the way you did it regardless.
And oh yes, I remember that. I'm glad it was able to help out in some way when you were writing this ^w^
But in any case it's a very good story, definitely unique and original. I wouldn't mind hearing more from this "raptor/talking chair" universe at some point in the future.
And I personally don't think the details were to excessive, if anything they were perfect, just enough to give you an idea of how each character and room looked.
Heheh, no doubt I do love teasing, especially when I'm role playing, and I can safely say that being teased and kept in suspense is one of my favourites of any story to be honest, it makes the long wait more worthwhile.
And I will admit, while it is strange, it's not something I disapprove of. I quite like the idea. I actually LOVE it when people give the perspective of the seat (in the sense that, you know, they stress under weight, how they creeeeak and groan from the stress of being sat on, and how a characters rump gets comfortable on them) not sure if I'm explaining that well enough but I still love the way you did it regardless.
And oh yes, I remember that. I'm glad it was able to help out in some way when you were writing this ^w^
But in any case it's a very good story, definitely unique and original. I wouldn't mind hearing more from this "raptor/talking chair" universe at some point in the future.
The passion put into this story....!!
I don't think the long descriptions were in any way detrimental. Even if the story is a oneshot, the details make it endearing! Little parts like Tekel taking the empty crates of food outside for pickup add a sense of concreteness to the universe. The descriptions of Tekel's 'lovely' wind were also written to a level of fine detail that I had not seen before. Its a very unique and wonderful style. Tekel's casual flatulence was amazing.
The plight of the stool and the rest of the seating did have me sympathizing with their feelings of injustice and defeat... although probably only because I guess I'm not into 'dom/sub' content (is that its proper name?)
Sympathize-able characters of course, are part of good stories ;)
I am glad to have been able to read it.
I don't think the long descriptions were in any way detrimental. Even if the story is a oneshot, the details make it endearing! Little parts like Tekel taking the empty crates of food outside for pickup add a sense of concreteness to the universe. The descriptions of Tekel's 'lovely' wind were also written to a level of fine detail that I had not seen before. Its a very unique and wonderful style. Tekel's casual flatulence was amazing.
The plight of the stool and the rest of the seating did have me sympathizing with their feelings of injustice and defeat... although probably only because I guess I'm not into 'dom/sub' content (is that its proper name?)
Sympathize-able characters of course, are part of good stories ;)
I am glad to have been able to read it.
Sadly, Chapter 2 isn't in the making because I never intended to continue this series. I just used Chapter 1 as a subtitle because I couldn't think of anything else. If I were to continue it, I don't know what I would do. I did leave the story off with a depressing ending for New. Things pretty much wouldn't get better for him, and it's likely he ends up like Oldie and the process continues like that. The only thing I could think of is to expand Tekel's character, so the next chapter would be more from her perspective. But of course, another chapter would only happen if I felt like writing another, which I don't. Sorry. :(
Also, I'm glad there were some details you could take away from it. It seems everyone has their favorite details in the story.
Also, I'm glad there were some details you could take away from it. It seems everyone has their favorite details in the story.
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