But where is the multi-peen?

You cheeky wench!

In their PANTS is where! One each, just as gawd and jeebus intended!

One of the many times they do the nasty! The rabbits! Shiny walls in the sleeping chambers would make me paranoid :P

Actually it's a cover for the hibernation-chamber they use as beds while tootling around at sub-light speeds.

Ah. I was under the impression the Vanguard like shiny things. Would it be plausible to throw a spoon to escape one? One must wonder...

You might distract it for half a moment - predators do tend to concentrate on movement, but with 270-degree stereo vision they would still be able to see you unless you were standing directly behind them.
Then you could grab them by the tail and dangle them in the air!

I could pretend I have their tail by putting my thumb between my index and middle finger and squeal with delight as I doge furniture thrown at me. Weeeee!

Hide in an Ikea © store, that will keep a Vanguard busy for a while

Thant might distract me. "Oh! Another piece of furniture that needs assembling..." I can't help it! It's genetic...
I am mayhem incarnate with an allen wrench.
The furniture tossing would be like a bad foreign Christmas special. On Medalj, on Akurum, on Boholmen, on Domsjo, on Luftig Hoo! What is a Hoo, anyway? Santa Vanguard thinks I have been naughty.

You'd be fortunate if all Vanguard Santa left in your christmas stocking was your leg...

Ikea © furniture has such strange names. I presume they're the same over there that they are here. Hmph, so where were you a couple of years ago when we were furnishing our flat? We effectively live in an Ikea © catalogue, with precisely one bit of furniture that isn't from there.

Actually Vanguard Santa would wrap you up in a red ribbon as a present to himself He likes toys...

You should have called! Just wear gloves. Lots of hand twisting on tools can cause blisters. That sounded dirty...
Tell vanguard Santa that i look good in red.

And out of it.

The best part about presents is unwrapping them... that and shaking/squeezing them to guess what's inside

This present sounds like a flailing human...
Because it is.

NEVER. SHAKE. THE. BABY.

But shaking the present is okay. Dammit, Jim, he's a doctor.

...not a dentist! Santa vanguard moonlights as "Jim"? What corner does he work?

He love you longtime 10 dollah. And what do you get for $15? Anyting you wan.

I laughed :P Me so...in the festive spirit? A Vanguard with a bad accent...who knew?

If he asks you if you want to see the ping-pong ball trick, you say NO, got it?

Got it, but if he plays ping pong, i am betting on him. He has four arms and an Asian accent...that's, like, two things that make him good, right? right?

And he's good at maths

A Vanguard would probably be fairly good at ping-pong once taught the rules, but that's not what I was thinking of...

I know ;) See how I deflected the adult comment? It distracted everyone long enough for me to whack you in the rear with said ping pong paddles, including Vanguard Santa. I feel like singing "Smooth Operator" now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efdfGeUKXuU

Ah, but you seem to forget my dear Sir, that I am well versed in the art of turning anything into innuendo and smut. Your diversionary tactics are a temporary fix at best. I might like being paddled on the rear with ping-pong paddles. Not that I do, but you didn't know that.

Know your enemy, know their weaknesses.

Fine, but I still want to sing. I do sense the Shwartz is strong with you. ;)

Ah, but is your Schwartz bigger than mine?

It brings all the boys to the yard. Oh, wait. That's my milk shake. Wrong pocket...

Is that a milkshake in your pocket or are you just really thirsty?

I am built with cup holders, but lack adapters for many electronic devices. Unleaded fuel only and please, buckle up.

So, inquiring minds want to know what happens if someone pumps high octane into you?

Bad gas.

What? You wanted a joke? :P Does it matter at what end the engines makes the most noise?

I was looking for something a little more high-brow than that effort, Sir. I think we need to get your better half in here to give you a lube-job. might improve your performance...

Oh, how far I have fallen. He can grind my transmission all he wants. I will end this innuendo with "crankshaft". Thank you.

Checking the linearity of your push-rods? Blowing out the jets in your carb? Loosening your timing belt?

I would say retarding your timing, but that's not particularly sexy, is it? As long as you and the BF tune each other regularly, that's all that matters to keep you both running at peak efficiency.

Oil checks are frequent and common. A lubricated engine screams nicely.

"Screams"?

Rumbles, maybe. Purrs, sure. "Screams"?

Screams mean things are being done properly. Not the horror movie, blood curdling screams, mind you. the satisfaction, loud cries of joy.

Oooooooooooooh, I was having visions of putting the lotions on the skins, otherwise they get the hose kind of screams.
Damn, if you can elicit those sorts of noises... your BF is a lucky man!

Alas, quiet is golden in these parts. One set of neighbors complained about the noise from a clock radio in the morning. I have trouble hearing it from 3 feet away...I dislike those neighbors.

Tell them to go fuck themselves. As long as it's not too loud I don't think that's unreasonable. But turn-around is fair play. Accuse them of shutting their doors too loudly or something. And deliberately induce screams of pleasure. What are they going to do, complain?

I play nice with the neighbors. The landlord spoke with Jamie and I about the folks next door. they have complained about a lot of things so we should not worry about it. My gaming experiences require bass! I'll wear headphones during sex ;)

Gaming requires bass. It is the law. This is why my partner makes me close the door when I'm playing Glad to hear that the landlord is realistic about the neighbours. I still think you and Jamie should have loud, picture-frame rattling sex on purpose though.

Well, i'm sold ;)

I need to fell that grenade go off in my chest. It is more satisfying that way! Not to mention if you are playing a scary game, you can creep out your roommates or partner. College was some good times...

You lucky bugger - I've not been able to creep my partner out, just annoy the living crap out of him when I get all yelly and screamy when getting thrashed over and over again on a difficult level But yeah, the atmospherics in some games is great, just adds to that immersion factor to hear that low rumble in the background...

I just would love to see the expressions on your neighbours faces when you guys had some loud, no-holds-barred, raw, animal sex. And them knowing it was two guys doing it.

That would be delicious.

Feel, not fell. Jeez!

I want a 24x36 print of their reaction. That would be classic. I'll just tell him that we will TRY to keep it down next time.

And then add that i was the bottom...

S'okay, I know what you were saying A print that large would be reminiscent of that 'American Gothic' classic picture, except the looks on those faces would be like they'd just finished sucking on unripe lemons. Actually I cannot imagine you screaming, I'm picking you would be more of a grunting, roaring kinda guy if you were on the receiving end of a good, hard rogering.

You know me so well! :D Let the neighbors be sour. I need my lovings.

Awww, that's so sweet Jamie is a lucky guy.

:) There have been no complaints yet.

I suspect there will be after the 175 mile bike ride coming up. He will only forgive you after lots of butt massages.

Yes...
There is that. I think there will be passing out first.

Heh, I think you've both probably got more stamina than that, not to say that you wont be a bit worn out by the end of it. But just think of the satisfaction once all is said and done. Something you can look back on and be proud.

Indeed. :) it will be good to have done it again. I must be kind to the bicycle tire gods this weekend.

Sorry, what was that? I was mentally picturing the mutual butt massaging and got a little distracted.

Something about tight lycra, I think.

Oh now you're just teasing!

JAMIE! JAMIE come in here and deal to your boyfriend will you, he's getting out of hand!!

hee :D I am getting out of hand just now? I believe things went crazy from the beginning, but that's the way (uh huh, uh huh) I like it. (uh huh, uh huh)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWf1MdHv80Q

I got the reference without the cheesy 70's video to go with it, thank you very much! And yes, you're becoming unruly and difficult to manage, young man.

I don't want a time out! *pouts*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZMH.....PL&index=4

That playlist is full of... not good. I want to kill myself now.

Thanks a bunch.

me, I just clawed my eyes out...

I hate you. You love teletubbies don't you.

Deviant.

Only the gay, handbag carrying one.

Can you point out which one in this lineup that is?

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/100/.....0b13a8.jpg?v=0

I think this group killed him off

Zee final solution?

Maybe the Telitubbies are what made Hitler so angry.

He was probably more upset that he only had one testicle, don't you think?

I knew that mustache was him trying to compensate for something!

Damn man, the commissions you're getting, keep getting better and better all the time.

Sex, the end all be all answer to boredom on those multi-year long space flights. That and pushing random buttons in the cockpit to see what this one does and that one does.

Ah, the GIR (from Invader Zim) school of thought - "Ooooooooh, what's that do, what's this do!"

I'm actually on a real drive to get commissions from lots of artists now of specific scenes from the stories, because what I would like to do is eventually end up with a kind of patchy 'graphic novel', or at least an illustrated version

I'm going to sing the doom song now. "Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom "

That is an awesome idea, there are a lot of scenes that I would love to see illustrated from both of your stories, though I think that most of them are from the first story. It would be cool if you ever could get someone to do a graphic novel over it some day.

I did investigate the possibility of having someone do a graphic novel, but the cost would be a little debilitating, and the amount of work required pretty high. Not to mention I would have a lot of difficulty in 'story-boarding' the novel down to something suitable for that format Not to say it won't ever happen.

Just out of curiosity, which scenes from TCW would you like to see illustrated specifically?

A long, long, long time ago some friends of mine and I looked into trying to get a comic published, needless to say, it's a lot of work, more than most people realize. From getting the story written out, to page layout, inking, lettering, cover art, whether or not it will either be in color or B&W, to printing and distribution, and finally there is the cost of everything and then wondering if you will actually make any money, break even or watch everything that you did just go down the toilet if sales go badly.
But if you ever do get a chance to get TCW 1 and 2 in some sort of graphic novel format then I would buy a copy right then and there.

Scenes that I would like to see, well here goes
1. Two-Talon and Hunts-in-Grass bonding ceremony.
2. Tainui being comforted by Two-Talon after Andrej death.
3. Two-Talon, Hunts-in-Grass, and Tainui sleeping together.
4. Thunder goosing Two-Talon.
5 Attacks-first kissing Tainui before Tainui leaves on his mission.
6. Tainui asking Dark-Mist if there is anything he can do to help.
7. Thunder standing next to Tainui with her hand on his shoulder after he has built up Andrej's grave site.

There are a lot more that I could name but I think that these are probably some of my top favorites from TCW1.

Get out of my juicy brain-meats! I'm currently commissioning an artist for #1 as it happens

#2/7 I am thinking about as well, was leaning toward #7, actually.
#3 I was considering something similar with Hunts holding down a squirming Tai in the cleaning-pool while Two-Talon works on fixing up his cuts and bruises a day or two after the crash.
#4 I like - great idea
#5... I could see that... need to find an artist to do that particular one justice.
#6 I had actually considered as well.

Interesting... some curious similarities to the scenes that stuck in my mind also. Hadn't thought of #4, but I quite like it - excellent suggestion, Sir!

But juicy brain meats are yummy and taste like chicken.

Yea that is a little weird about all the similarities, but hey they are cool scenes. Two more that I had though of that I'll throw at you...

1. The scene where Two-Talon and Hunts-in-Grass are standing over the 2 graves holding each others hands the end of the story. This I think was the most powerful scene in the whole story, at least it was for me.

2. And the scene where Kuia and Blue-Scale are talking for the first.

But so far, that's all that I can name off atm.

What did I tell you about my juicy brain meats!? STAY OUT OF THEM! #2 is also one I already have in the pipeline! Dang...

But yeah, #1... that is a powerful scene, will have to think on who to talk with in order to do it justice.

Mr. Karerease, thank you very much for the suggestions, you wonderful guy, you.

Aww come on, can't I just pick at your juicy brain meats just a bit more, there so tasty, mmmm brains......hmmmm, needs salt.

You know at some point, when I get my human anatomy looking better I'm going to try to do some gift art for you over your Vanguard beasties and some of the humans in the TCW stories. Just not sure when that will be.

Just watch out because you can get prions from eating brains... unless you're a zombie in which case that's the least of your problems, right?

Well if you do ever draw some gift art, that's the fastest way to turn me into a heaving mass of wet, warm fuzzies. To have someone think that much of your work that they want to illustrate it is a very humbling experience

Can I ask what the comic idea that you and your friends came up with was about? The whole publishing thing is a very complicated, and potentially expensive exercise, deceptively simple in concept, but the practice is something completely different.

The comic idea, was more or less along the whole superhero/mutants line. I was trying to do the writing for it, and sadly was never able to get a good feel for any of the characters. A good friend of mine was at the time doing the page layout and pencils, and another friend was doing the inking and lettering. But it never got off the ground either due to lack of money or time to work on it. But it was at the very least a good learning experience.

Hmm, definitely helps to have people skilled in the different areas in order to be able to pull it off well. As you say, a good learning experience - something that has taken me a long time to get to grips with with my own ideas.

Think I'll stick to 'normal' writing

Well, when you're in the dark, lonely space for all that time, I guess you need SOME way to pass the time. :P And I;m guessing this beats making pit stops on Random planets just the kill the boredom.

...Because we all know how well that always worked out for the Enterprise, Red Dwarf, that ship from "Aliens"... etc.

Just put that mirror on the ceiling, and we're all set! :D

You raise a good point. I am not sure that landing on ANY alien planet is ever a good thing. Ever. In fact, leaving the tree and evolving was a really bad idea - there are a lot of worse things than having to worry about where your next meal is coming from, or when you're going to be eaten by a leopard.

Oh, totally, man! The tree life is where it was at, back when it was socially acceptable to fling your own shit at somebody during a heated debate. (Ever since this stoopid "Civilization" thing happened, you're now expected to look around the room for anything that can be used as projective weaponry... as opposed to producing your own. Absurd!) And the whole "Fuck whoever has the most swollen rump" thing took all this needless guesswork and mind games out of the dating scene. *sighs nostalgically*

Oh yeah, gotta get some of that hot swollen rump. And the intestinal parasites, mange, ticks, heat, fighting for dominance... on second thoughts perhaps some aspects of civlisation aren't so bad after all...

I have no doubt that it's been done... but sex in zero-G would actually be more difficult and awkward than sexy, exotic and romantic, I think. If that space-ship's a rockin', don't come a knockin'?

Zero-G? I must have missed that part... I kinda assumed there was some artificial gravity in play, here. Still, while there certainly are some disadvantages to sex in space (Namely, smaller boners since blood pressure is lessened in Zero-G, and the whole concept of "thrusting") it would be a boon if your partner happens to have saggy body parts, and would probably make the more acrobatic maneuvers a lot less draining.

And also... bouncing tits and flailing dicks in Zero-G. :D

There is artificial gravity (by-products of the singularity generators the Vanguard use for power and propulsion). I was mainly referring to IRL human space-exploration

Tits and dicks would be all wibbly and jiggly without gravity to affect them, even old granny tits and granddad dick. Now there's an awful thought, nei?

So... if you bareback fucked someone, would it be conceivably possible that you could, quite literally, blast them off the end of your dick when you came?