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I worked on some minor edits of this tonight, and so I feel comfortable sharing the first 10 "chapters" of my ongoing story "Wolf Boy" with you all. This has been a long, ongoing project that has been on a hiatus for quite a while. However, after seeing and feeling the resounding support here, I feel comfortable moving forward with it and would love your feedback and support as I continue to try and make Wolf Boy an enjoyable adventure for all who choose to read it.
With your feedback and support I will be able to dedicate more time to this project and more for your enjoyment in the future. There is still a long road ahead for Wolf Boy, but my eventual goal is to reach publication with this story. :) I'm honored to have the chance to share it with all of you here.
You can read more of "Wolf Boy" by navigating below:
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
If you'd like to gain early access to more work like this and other transformation stories/illustrations, please check out my Patreon page at the link below where you'll gain access to exclusive content and story updates before they are publicly released by choosing to support my work:
http://www.patreon.com/K9Lupus
With your feedback and support I will be able to dedicate more time to this project and more for your enjoyment in the future. There is still a long road ahead for Wolf Boy, but my eventual goal is to reach publication with this story. :) I'm honored to have the chance to share it with all of you here.
You can read more of "Wolf Boy" by navigating below:
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
If you'd like to gain early access to more work like this and other transformation stories/illustrations, please check out my Patreon page at the link below where you'll gain access to exclusive content and story updates before they are publicly released by choosing to support my work:
http://www.patreon.com/K9Lupus
Category Story / Transformation
Species Wolf
Size 108 x 120px
File Size 166.6 kB
The other parts will be up later today. I was trying to push through and get everything uploaded last night, but the call of the bed was too powerful to ignore. If you'd like to read more of Wolf Boy I do also have it up on my Patreon page in the mean time. Thanks for taking the time to read it!
Hi! I saw your request for critique in the forum and left a comment, but then I saw the post was made back in June so I'm posting my critique here just to make sure you get it!
I just read the first chapter, and I have to say--your prose is pretty good. You've got a nice command of the English language. The story itself, however, didn't really grab me, mostly because of the second chapter. There's a vague reference to a strained relationship with her parents and then you move on. I feel like you forgot the old rule "Show, don't tell."
A few years back I watched Ghostbusters with the director's commentary on, because I'm a huge nerd like that. And something they said about storytelling really impressed me--in a story with fantastical elements, it's better to show your protagonist in the real world first and build up to the big stuff. Obviously, that doesn't apply to every story, but in a story like you're telling, we barely know your main character when Stuff Starts Happening. I feel like you should consider working in a new opening scene with the character and her parents. This can help establish a lot of things, like who she is and what kind of world she lives in, so the reader can appreciate all these things better before she meets the werewolf and starts tumbling down the rabbit hole.
I really did like that opening paragraph, though. It's a strong opening, stick with that.
I just read the first chapter, and I have to say--your prose is pretty good. You've got a nice command of the English language. The story itself, however, didn't really grab me, mostly because of the second chapter. There's a vague reference to a strained relationship with her parents and then you move on. I feel like you forgot the old rule "Show, don't tell."
A few years back I watched Ghostbusters with the director's commentary on, because I'm a huge nerd like that. And something they said about storytelling really impressed me--in a story with fantastical elements, it's better to show your protagonist in the real world first and build up to the big stuff. Obviously, that doesn't apply to every story, but in a story like you're telling, we barely know your main character when Stuff Starts Happening. I feel like you should consider working in a new opening scene with the character and her parents. This can help establish a lot of things, like who she is and what kind of world she lives in, so the reader can appreciate all these things better before she meets the werewolf and starts tumbling down the rabbit hole.
I really did like that opening paragraph, though. It's a strong opening, stick with that.
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