This is a pretty good story. Short, but sweet. Just so that you know, the ares that you spelled are actually meant to be spelt as our. Like our home, our friends, etc.

thanks for pointing that out.

Not bad at all! A few words of advice, I would indent a little more and try to trim things down

thanks and will do
just wondering should i make this a seris?
i'd like to get your opinion.

I could see it becoming a series

then i'd better get started

Yes you should

hmm, not bad. like someone said, are should be our. there are quite a few grammar and spelling errors. i think this may be either that english isnt your home language or that you still new to writing? also, your missing a lot of punctuation marks, especially inverted commas. i think with editing it could attract alot of attention to it. i would like to maybe give it a try, but i know that i am sounding and looking condescending... im sorry if this is the case, but i like to give constructive criticysm and helping out.

i don't write that much.

Ah, cool. i see. if you ever want help or advice, this wolf is here :D

thank you