This time around the grammer and sentence structure is more clear and better formed; however you still seem to flip flop back and forth between two perspective within each paragraph, except the first. Stating that something is an illusion gives the semblance of unreal or unnessisary; then you give it substance by say its no unescapable and universe altering, that is in no way an illusion. I believe your point was that we humans apply a rigorus outlook on time and its composition and thus limit ourselves to these unmarked borders. While true beware the words and imagery you use to convey a point, remember its equally important that your reader form the same metal images and emotions you have while writing this. Don't confuse your reader.

You continue to do the same thing in part 4; you state that enviornment shape us, then say we alone shape ourselves, then go on to give an exsample that counters your second premise. I understand the duality of life as a whole and thats what I'm getting from this essay. Your first and last paragraphs however are solid and concise, right to the point. This speaks better of your point then the other four.

There is nothing wrong with being verbose, in fact elaborate discription and poetic imagery is my favorite type of writing; however its a honed art like any other and like all forms of art you must decide if this style best projects your idea to the reader. I think prose writing would be the best way to define this plateu in your life. This mildstone could be expressed better as if you were speaking with a friend on a couch then as emphisied metaphor.

Syntax errors:

^it's inescabable^

thank you for your constructive criticism. it is the most helpful criticism i have recieved, yet. it is much appreciated. i know sometimes contraict myself, but thats because i'm not very good with words. and you were right in the first review: i was trying to get it all out of me. this was the climax of my whole life so far, and i had to put it to words. so i guess that, when it comes down to it, only i will only truly understand it completely. thank you very much, my friend.