I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about survival priorities. Each action requires intake of some kind, and that intake is more immediate the more crucial the act is to life. Thus, eating takes longer than drinking takes longer than breathing. So when I say I just inhaled this chapter, what I truly mean to express is that I couldn’t read the words fast enough. I’d have to read your mind to get it any faster, and alas for those 2k words were quickly and enjoyably consumed.

So I re-read it.

Your descriptions give a much needed picture of how Gareth’s transformation has changed him. I’m glad to have that solidified for future reference. Aspen’s guilt, though misplaced, shows she is highly conscious of the choice she made in changing him, so his verbal reassurance was needed to comfort her. And if ever there was a time when the right words were needed, it was then.

I’m learning from how you interweave the feelings, visuals, and thoughts of these characters together into the narrative. It’s starting to affect how I write my own stories and I love it.

As long as breathing it in that quickly didn't make you cough or choke, I'm happy! Thank you so much, Onic!

I think it was Helixthefallen (on this site) who reinforced to me the importance of including physical descriptions of characters. It's something I find easy to omit, so it was nice to make a bit of an effort with Gareth here. This was the wolf image I worked with for his appearance: http://wolveswolves.tumblr.com/post.....lupus-signatus
(Yeah, it's an Iberian wolf. I just liked the facial pattern.)

To hear that my story might be affecting your own writing is a huge complement. I think all writers change like this to some extent, but I for one hope you don't change too much. Your style is perfectly delicious as it is!

First, I want to say I adore the way Onic describes 'inhaling' your chapter. I agree that the relationship between the immediacy of survival acts and the frequency they require is proportional. So I don't know what it says about me that I tend to chew the really good stories. I'll re-read sentences, even phrases multiple times before moving on. Often I'll back up paragraphs or even pages and go through again to savor the layered nuances within. And when I'm finished, I might start all over. I can't digest it without tearing it into little bite-sized pieces and letting each lay upon my tongue.

This shorter section was a nice treat, sweet without being heavy. It's easy to sympathize with Gareth's difficulties in adapting to different responses to familiar stimuli. I prefer my room dark but I don't have to deal with physical pain if the main light come on. He's lucky he's out in the woods, too. I don't think having an enhanced sense of smell would be pleasant in most any city.

I do feel for Aspen. The knowledge she's brought about an irrevocable change in Gareth's life without even a second to ask or explain had to be weighing on her. And don't think I didn't notice those three special words she used, the ones tied to another life-changing event in another fictional story with which we're both familiar. Subtle, but so meaningful and appropriate.

I'm ready for the next course, whenever the chef is ready to bring it forth.

I'm starving!

Yes, our Aspen is quite the sensitive wolf. I'm trying to build these characters bit by bit, while keeping their actions consistent with previous chapters.

Those three special words did indeed find their way in. Knew you'd catch 'em.

Your approach to reading mirrors my own way of writing, editing and re-editing - which is fine, except that it me takes forever. But I love how you take Onic's metaphor and run with it. I will try not to keep you hungry for long.

Thank you Wire, as always.

the fates were against me reading this - every time I began something happened (like my computer doing an auto shutdown for updates). It's a lovely beginning, drawing the reader in gently.

now you know I don't have the words Onic and Wirewolf have - for some reason my mind goes blank during a review/comment piece, and now it's time to be off to 'that place called work'. I will say - please keep it going.

*hugs...

V.

Don't you just love modern tech that does what it thinks is right rather than what you want it to? Grrrrrr...

Very happy that you liked the chapter; I was worrying that I'd made Gareth and Aspen too mushy here. Episodes like this will, I think, be few and far between.

Thank you, my kind fennec, for continuing with my story - and for the review as well of course!

“Too mushy?”

I must be a real softy, or a hopeless romantic, or both for that matter. I loved each moment of mushiness, if that’s what you want to call it. Gives me the warm fuzzies, which is good for my fur :P

I agree with Onic... I thought it was wonderful...

V.

Oh, my...
this chapter was quite lovely. So many feelings and emotions laid bare...
The sentiment of Aspen saving Gareth...wow...my breath caught in my throat there.
And oh yes...the description. Magnificent!

Thank you! I took this chance to do the scene in flashback because Gareth's reaction to his TF just wasn't covered in the original story at all.