
My name is Tommy Jackson. zombie story 14: trick or treat...
My name is Tommy Jackson. I am in the third grade. Tonight is Halloween and everyone is being so creepy. While I was walking home I said hi to my friends, we are going to go trick or treating together. Everyone except me was existed about our secret plan to attack the principle with silly string. I was a little nervous because I still have to figure out a way to ditch my parents. As I ran home I was more existed about my Halloween costume. I had this awesome pirate costume it was so realistic. This is going to be awesome. I quickly got dressed for my costume and waited for my parents to come home. I watched the sun get low in the sky as my friend arrived one by one to get ready for tonight. Paul was a ninja, Roy was some kind of super hero I forget which one, Sacha was a witch she looked like the one in the wizard of oz, and James was the “dark night” which just means he wore a clock and a lot of black. My parents arrived they were dressed like doctors; they were going to a costume party later. We grabbed our trick-or-treat bags and ran outside to the car and quickly jumped inside. As my parents drove I stared out the window at the decoration and the spooky jack-o-lanterns, I though to myself, Halloween isn’t scary anymore it all stuff we think is scary is just spooky. My parents drove to the first house and parked the car there. “When you are ready for ride to the next houses come back we will be ready when you are” said my dad. I quickly jumped out and ran to the first house. We went from house to house as my parents followed from a distance. We collected quiet a lot of candy when we finally came to our principle’s house. His decorations seemed scarier than all the other houses there was a little fake blood one the path leading to his door. We got our silly string ready as we rang the door bell, snickering at our plan. We waited but no one answered, James finally knocked on the door, the door crept open slowly. “Let’s go get him” James said as he opened the door wider. “I will wait here if my parents come over.” I said hoping they would buy that. “Chicken” taunted James as they walked inside. I stood there for a while it was too quiet then finally walked in; I pulled out a flashlight and looked around. “James..? Roy..? Sacha..?” I asked the darkness nervously then I felt myself step something squishy on the ground, I pointed the flashlight down and looked. It took me a while to realize what I was looking at first it look like orange colored tubes then I realized I had stepped in the guts on of Paul. I hyperventilated and looked around, I panic and then saw someone behind the couch I heard a sick sound as I slowly walked over to him then I saw the principle eating the gut of one of my friends, I cried and ran from the house screaming, behind me I heard him with some sort of insane screaming. I ran to my parent’s car and screamed for help. They quickly got out and put me in the car. “Stay here till I get back” said my dad with a serous tone. I locked the door and hide on the floor of the van. I wonder while I waited for help, “was this the horror the customs of Halloweens where made to keep away?” I waited till I heard something outside; I peaked out in fear at what I might see. It was my dad, my vision blurred as I burst out the car and ran over to him hugging him tightly, still crying. He put his hand on me, but his grip was hard and strong, I looked up at him questioningly. He felt wet and I realized too late he was covered in blood. Then he attacked pulling me to his mouth and ripping out my flesh. I screamed in terror but my screams only attracted more of them. They quickly swarmed me and tore the flesh from my body.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 27 kB
Ooh, evisceration of the young and innocent. I enjoy this one for the subtley you put into the fright of a child hmm, also, I am very fond of you giving the characters more of a backstory. The child innocently wants to trick-or-treat and prank his principle, but instead gets eaten by his father and other infected. THE JOKES ON YOU SUCKAH!!! >XD
I think I need mental treatment... *eats my psychiatrist* ...nope! All I needed was a snack. Mmm, brains
I think I need mental treatment... *eats my psychiatrist* ...nope! All I needed was a snack. Mmm, brains
While the other's liked the twist at the end, I was more interested in the overall mood you set especially once they entered the house. I always find that tension and anticipation works better to instill fear in a reader rather than an outright gore fest. You did a very good job with the tension and uncertainty here.
Well, you'd probably be more likely to be writing for your own movie as opposed to directing it. You've certainly got the deterination and the ideas to become a promising writer. If you want the answer about whether or not you could become a director, then ask yourself. Can you handle the pressure and responsibility of being looked up to by the actors and even the writers. Are you prepared to deal with the consequences if a movie did not do well under your direction and learn from it?
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