PATREON ✦ KO-FI ✦ COMMISSION

WARNING: violence, abuse

SOME INFORMATION ABOUT ME PERSONALLY
My name is Polina and I live in a suburb of Russia, in Siberia. I study in college and have great difficulties in my life that disturb the natural rhythm of a healthy person. The fact is that I live with my abyusive relatives, because of which I live in constant fear.

THE MAIN
Since my childhood, I have very difficult relationships with relatives, which are only aggravated with time. in childhood I was often beaten by my parents - for the reason and without it. these were not minor slaps or cuffs, I was beaten with everything that came to hand, any careless word even in childhood could turn into scandal or beatings, so in childhood I constantly lied to isolate myself from this and avoid reprisals, my entire childhood was spent in fear . Now the situation is absolutely similar, my mother regularly tries to control me and my life, she refuses to let me out of the apartment, hides the keys, forbids me to communicate with friends, beats me for too rude tone or if I do not do what she wants. she constantly calls me on the phone, makes me send my location to make sure that I do not meet with my friends, monitors and controls every step I take when I leave the house. at the same time she demands for herself full attention, love and sympathy. she constantly morally humiliates me, says that I am a freak and no one can love me and that my life is what she has the right to dispose of, that I am her property. she likes to bring me to panic attacks or hysterics, just for fun, and she does not deny it, she calls it a "fun game" for her. My father fully supports everything she's doing and also believes that I should not communicate with anyone other than my relatives. I want to clarify that I am 18 years old and this attitude seems even wilder to me.

Because of the constant insults, threats and beatings, I became depressed, I am constantly afraid to take a step in anything, under the fear of being beaten. At 14 I tried to commit suicide, when my parents went beyond what was permitted and I just could not stand it, I didn’t know how else I could escape from all of this. I have persistent paranoia, anxiety, and vegeto-physical problems due to constant stress. I just hope that with time in a calmer atmosphere, where I don’t have to constantly be afraid, it will all pass

My relatives told me that I could only move away from them closer to the age of 30, and then when I find a husband, otherwise I must continue to live with them. knowing them, I understand that they are not joking and would not allow me to get out of their complete control and manipulations. Now I plan to secretly move out of this apartment, when relatives are not at home, just collect all my belongings and run away from here. the problem is that they know where I study and I understand that they will haunt me until they find me. but I just don't know how much longer I can stand here.

WHY THIS POST BY THE BY?
Since my only salary is freelancing, I try to do as much work as possible in order to save money for new apartments and relocation as a whole, also for bills and food for the first time.
but more often than not, I very slowly carry out commissions due to the fact that I am in constant apathy, I have no desire to do anything, it is hard for me to just get up in the morning and do my routine, not to mention work, which in my case requires a lot of effort and imagination . I decided that this post will help you understand me more, well, in general, I feel better from sharing this with someone. I also experience stress when I am at home with my relatives, who can break into my room at any time and start shouting at me, which also prevents me from working at my usual pace.

HOW YOU CAN HELP?
- Patreon
Because of this situation, I want to seriously engage my Patreon and make art faster and better, produce content for people who are subscribed to me.
If you want to help, then you can become me patron to get an extra comtnt and from me. I really would be happy to thank everyone who will help.
Link: https://www.patreon.com/mohnotart

- KO-FI | PAYPAL.ME
This is a service, where you can just donate a couple of bucks to me at your discretion, paypal.me works on the same principle, but your donations through paypal.me will get to me faster and directly.
KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/mohnot
PAYPAL.ME: https://www.paypal.me/mohnotart

- COMMISSIONS
This is also very useful help, I will be very glad if you commission something from me
Info: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8275900/

IN CUSTODY
I hope no one will think that I'm trying to beg or something like that, I have been thinking about this post for several months and what to tell you, I'm were scared to admit what is happening in my personal life.
Thank you all for your support, I really appreciate all the comments that you leave and I am glad that someone reads this at all and that someone is not indifferent to a person who is thousands of miles away from you. even if you just read it and for a moment felt what I feel every day, I am grateful to you!

Early access, larger files, WIPs/step-by-steps and other cool stuff on Patreon: click Please consider supporting me! <3
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