Some individuals would offer up an arm and a leg to acquire their desired share of a dragon’s hoard. Tally, however, offers the limitless loot of a vile beast’s vault without the hectic secret boss fight, and she’s not beyond lending out a few tons from her family’s vaults. It’s a simple process, really! Just call upon her with the necessary ritual (or just call a toll-free number) to get stared, and after signing a few totally harmless forms for a high-interest loan, it’s possible for just about anyone to receive their own body weight in gold, riches, and magical artefacts.

All you’ve got to do is keep up with those monthly payments and everything will be peachy-keen. Fall behind, however, and Tally may choose to make things a little less delightful.

So go ahead. Make the call. The only thing standing between you and lifelong riches are a few dotted lines that require a date and your signature. ♥

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