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The Saga of the Diary
Entry 1: The Phantom Entry
Dear Diary,
I guess this is the first time I’ve ever actually written in a diary. I mean, normally I just kinda live stream everything I do in town. Or I used to post it on different blogs. You know, driving about the city, beating up jerks who want to steal things, making out with Belle. Please don’t tell her I said that.Probably would make her a bit angry with me. Or not. I honestly can’t figure her out sometimes.
But today, I decided to go with good old pen and paper. Well, more than one pen, since those things always stop working right when I grab one. I think I got ten, or a twelve pack. I sort of shoved them into my bag on the way out of the store, but I’m sure this is more than enough. Please don’t eat them, diary. I know your kind.
Anyways! I’m going on a bit of a bigger trip today. I got one helluva paycheck from a mysterious employer to deliver a few bags to different towns. He assured me, multiple times, that they’re totally and completely not drugs. It actually said that on the manifest of the packages he gave me, “Totally-Not-Drugs”. Even hyphenated it! So I can only assume it’s on the up and up. I mean, who would lie about that?
Plus, he paid a lot of money. Like, a lot a lot. Not supposed to tell people how much, but it makes that one job with the fish look poor.
Anyways, I better get on my bike! Got a long day of riding ahead!
Entry 2: The Entry Strikes Back
Dear Diary,
Did you know that small towns tend to be in the middle of nowhere?
I mean, I knew that. I’m from one, obviously. But I bought you from a bookstore at an airport last year, so maybe you’ve not been to other towns? That’s how this works, right? You’re not some kinda all-knowing-semi-everywhere-super-book, right? You’d tell me if you were?
Wow, that was a boring day if I’m talking to a book. Long story short, I spent about half of the day driving out to the nearest town, almost an hour figuring out which house was the one I wanted. Somehow, my phone doesn’t work all that well when I’m in the middle of the sticks, so I ended up hitting about four houses on “Anders Street”. Ends up the guys writing was terrible, so it was “Enders” street. Whoever designed this town needs a handshake and some burn ointment because of how hard I’m firing him.
The guy was some kinda dog. Maybe a mixed breed? Wouldn’t say his name. Well, didn’t say it but I reminded him I kinda need to get his signature. He protested, said he’d call my manager. I gave him my cell phone number. He called me ten minutes later and demanded I fire myself for poor customer service and something. After a few minutes, I told him I was actually the grocery store downtown. Good times.
Still, I am sure I didn’t deliver anything illegal. At least, not drugs. He told me they weren’t drugs. Plus, I’m a hero. I don’t do that kinda work. Completely legit.
Talk to you when I stop for the night!
Entry 3: Prisoner of the Diary
Dear diary,
You know what you miss so much in the big city? Stars! The big, broad expanse of stars above me, twinkling and showing all of those galaxies and nebusars and qualas! I think that’s the names, but it doesn’t matter. It’s freaking beautiful! You can never see all of that past the lights that are on all night back home. Makes me think a lot about being back with the family. You never met them, so you don’t know much about it. Probably.
I’m watching you, diary.
So today's events, after leaving the podunk town back there, was I found a totally legal street race! Which makes me realize I’m saying ‘totally’ an awful lot lately. This time I think it was actually illegal. But don’t tell anyone that, they might take my superhero license away. I need that thing. It gets me a discount at some shops, though it’s really hard to show it when I’m dressed so much more normally. I mean, I can’t exactly sign my hero name on stuff when I’m buying work supplies. That’d be weird.
Anyways! The bike race! So there was a bunch of locals and some out of towners. Mostly guys, but there was this one dog girl. Full body leather outfit, wore her helmet the whole time. I only figured anything out since she had this curly curly tail behind her that waggled a lot before the race. I hope she didn’t notice me staring at her butt a bit before the race. And during it. I mean, she got her own look of mine after I passed her at the finish line, but some people think it’s rude to check them out during an exciting speed race thing. Prize was only a couple hundred, no racing for pinks today. At least, I think so.
Hey, some friendly looking guys are coming to talk to me. Must have seen me lounging on my beautiful bike and want to compliment me on it. Well, I’ll be back!
Entry 4: Diary and the Fox’s Entry
Dear Diary,
Those guys were super friendly! I mean, they said they just LOVED my bike and wanted to take her out for a ride. I mean, of course I said no. Can you imagine my insurance accepting other riders without my telling them ahead of time? Plus, one of them kept asking for the keys and wanted to take her. That one didn’t ask about a ride, really, but instead seemed to want to keep her.
That’s just stupid!
After a minute they just got kinda boring and repetitive, then they got drunk or angry or something. One of them tried to punch me and I was all like “Whoa, you don’t wanna do this!” and he went “Yes we do rawr!” so I punched him in the throat and he stopped talking. Then his buddies wanted to talk some, but they were also yelling something like “Ah, we’ll get your bike, we’re evil!” and I was all “No, you can’t beat me, I’m a hero of JUSTICE!” and then it kinda got confusing for a bit. I can’t exactly remember everything that happened, but I’m pretty sure one of the teeth fell into my bag. Which is kinda gross.
After wiping the blood off of my boots on a conveniently placed persons face, I decided it was probably time to find a better place to sleep for the night. They were even super nice and decided to pay for my hotel! Well, hotel is a strong word for this place. More of ‘closet type thing that sort of has a roof on top of it’, but it’s also got a bed! A bed I am sure is about as alive as you are, diary. See, wanna-be bikers give awful hotel recommendations.
I bet this place has a great continental breakfast, though!
Entry 5: The Entry Also Rises
Dear diary,
They didn’t have breakfast.
Entry 6: An Entry of Champions
Dear diary,
After that awful start to my day, I decided to just keep riding! Move into the rising sun, which meant I was going at least some degree of east. It’s fall now, so I think that means I’m also going a little south. I like to see if I can guess it before I use a compass, mostly since the compass seems to be my friend most of the time and always point at me. Thank god that one dragon lady gave me this way better phone that at least kinda works most of the time. The old ones just died anytime I got angry about something.
Still, this place was a lot easier. The guy was actually outside and everything. Didn’t even complain about signing his name! The town does remind me a bit more of home than the last one. Kind of the ‘middle of the road farming town’ where everyone knows absolutely everything everyone does. Nosey neighbors, fancy houses made back in the Stone Age, wallpaper I legitimately want to stab with a sharp thingie, the works. Kinda makes me wonder how things are back in my town these days. Been a long time since I’ve made it back that way.
Also, I keep wondering. I always say dear diary. Does that, like, do anything? I know I questioned how super intelligent you are, but how smart are you? If I say something else, will you know about it? Or are you just a framing device that helps me put my thoughts in a stream of consciousness kinda way? I learned those words in my night classes a few weeks ago, not that you’d know anything about that, book.
Entry 7: A Clash of Entries
Hey stupid book thing,
I was riding for a couple hours, stopped to get lunch. I had a thought.
You’re literally just a bunch of pieces of paper tied together with metal rings or whatever. How in the hell can you be smart-feeling-thinking or anything? You’re dead pieces of tree! See, I’m being a total jerk to you, diary, and I bet you can’t do anything about it. Jokes on you, me, for thinking that this was some sort of magical book. If it was so great, why would they be selling it for only ten dollars at an airport. It probably costs 5 dollars at a normal book store!
Well, I’ll just write more normally from now on. No need to be appeasing some not-real-evil-book that I carry around with me.
Entry 8: Revenge of the Diary
Dear Diary,
Okay, so I see how it is. I insult you, you eat literally seven pens. Seven pens that were totally new. I bought them before I left out this way two days ago! Most of them still had the little ball of plastic thingie on the tip that I always forget to remove before I start writing, but even then they still didn’t do anything! There’s only one explanation.
You actually are the person like and all knowing book, but you’re also rather petty. I mean, we’re friends, right? Please stop eating my pens, I want to actually finish this trip alive. You’re the one foe I cannot defeat, so I am sorry I called you stupid.
When we get back, I’ll buy you a box of cheap pens to eat. Then we can be frenemies, the ultimate expression of superheroism.
Entry 9: Diary road
Dear not evil diary,
I made it to the last town. Again, a small farming town. This is getting kinda weird. Still getting flashbacks to the old farm back home, wondering how everyone is doing. Been about five years since I left and totally disappeared from the Christmas card list. I bet they’re still worried about me. Not that I got time to think about that since I see some kind of villainy happening! I’ll be back, diary!
Entry 10: Return of the Fox
Dear Slightly Damaged Diary,
Okay, so there was some guy punching cars downtown. He, no joke, called himself Car Crasher. I’m starting to think these villains are kinda dumb. Stil, he seemed to have super strength or something, since he was punching cars. Like, really hard. They kept breaking. But that’s not the best part! He was boring, this was awesome.
These three superheroes appeared, some sort of grassroots little hero team. Two guys and a girl, all of whom had that hick air about them. The girl was some kind of bird and just.. Floated around? I think maybe she was trying to fly but didn’t exactly do anything with it. The guys were hilarious. One was a lion. He was dark brown but his mane was big, bushy, and golden. He looked like a sunflower and even called himself Sunflower Power! Oh god, I honestly wasn’t sure if I could help them out when he started throwing walking sunflowers at them. They pulled themselves out of the ground, walked over on their roots and went “Whap whap whap” against Car Whatever until he sorta knocked them away. I got pictures, that’s going on the internet when I get home.
The last guy came up and popped his own arm off. Big whoop, seen it before from some lizard people. But then he started hitting Grand Smash Auto with it over and over until he got backhanded away! About this time it got kinda sad, so I stepped in and went “I’m here!” and the guy went “Oh shit!” and then I shot him with lightning. He fell over, cops came, I delivered my package and got the hell out of there. Of course, you took a piece of glass to the cover (Sorry!) and I saw what was in these packages!
It’s porn. Like, really, really gay porn. I kinda wish I didn’t know now, but it’s actually not drugs. Probably.
Anyways, all this time in the sticks has really made me think about going home. I’m just not sure if the winds are ready to blow back that way, ya know? Besides, I’m sure people back in the city want me back. Or, well, they probably want Stormwave back.
Maybe I should make some friends? As me, not as a superhero? What do you think diary?
Entry 11: The Last Entry
Dear diary,
You didn’t answer! Anyways, I’m heading back today. I’ll be there in a day or two, until the wind decides to change again. You know how it always is. It’s been nice, just me and the paper. Well, and those people I punched. And that one villain and heroes. Did I mention they bought me lunch before I vanished? Probably forgot. They also asked for my private superhero phone number.
I gave them a McDonalds.
Well, thanks for coming with me. I’ll talk to you again later.
Zyla Garthori, Stormwave.
P.S. I’m totally locking you in something safe later.
Whew! That one was fun to write!
I'm sorry I've been gone. Took a vacation to another city, place went nuts, had too many problems, got busy. Here now! I'll try to post another tomorrow, but here's a repost from my old FA. I really hope you guys like the story!
Stormwave/Zyla is me, even if she's dressed as a civvie!
Art by the always glorious
fox-die from a long as hell time ago.
Enjoy the ride, guys.
Dear Diary,
I guess this is the first time I’ve ever actually written in a diary. I mean, normally I just kinda live stream everything I do in town. Or I used to post it on different blogs. You know, driving about the city, beating up jerks who want to steal things, making out with Belle. Please don’t tell her I said that.Probably would make her a bit angry with me. Or not. I honestly can’t figure her out sometimes.
But today, I decided to go with good old pen and paper. Well, more than one pen, since those things always stop working right when I grab one. I think I got ten, or a twelve pack. I sort of shoved them into my bag on the way out of the store, but I’m sure this is more than enough. Please don’t eat them, diary. I know your kind.
Anyways! I’m going on a bit of a bigger trip today. I got one helluva paycheck from a mysterious employer to deliver a few bags to different towns. He assured me, multiple times, that they’re totally and completely not drugs. It actually said that on the manifest of the packages he gave me, “Totally-Not-Drugs”. Even hyphenated it! So I can only assume it’s on the up and up. I mean, who would lie about that?
Plus, he paid a lot of money. Like, a lot a lot. Not supposed to tell people how much, but it makes that one job with the fish look poor.
Anyways, I better get on my bike! Got a long day of riding ahead!
Entry 2: The Entry Strikes Back
Dear Diary,
Did you know that small towns tend to be in the middle of nowhere?
I mean, I knew that. I’m from one, obviously. But I bought you from a bookstore at an airport last year, so maybe you’ve not been to other towns? That’s how this works, right? You’re not some kinda all-knowing-semi-everywhere-super-book, right? You’d tell me if you were?
Wow, that was a boring day if I’m talking to a book. Long story short, I spent about half of the day driving out to the nearest town, almost an hour figuring out which house was the one I wanted. Somehow, my phone doesn’t work all that well when I’m in the middle of the sticks, so I ended up hitting about four houses on “Anders Street”. Ends up the guys writing was terrible, so it was “Enders” street. Whoever designed this town needs a handshake and some burn ointment because of how hard I’m firing him.
The guy was some kinda dog. Maybe a mixed breed? Wouldn’t say his name. Well, didn’t say it but I reminded him I kinda need to get his signature. He protested, said he’d call my manager. I gave him my cell phone number. He called me ten minutes later and demanded I fire myself for poor customer service and something. After a few minutes, I told him I was actually the grocery store downtown. Good times.
Still, I am sure I didn’t deliver anything illegal. At least, not drugs. He told me they weren’t drugs. Plus, I’m a hero. I don’t do that kinda work. Completely legit.
Talk to you when I stop for the night!
Entry 3: Prisoner of the Diary
Dear diary,
You know what you miss so much in the big city? Stars! The big, broad expanse of stars above me, twinkling and showing all of those galaxies and nebusars and qualas! I think that’s the names, but it doesn’t matter. It’s freaking beautiful! You can never see all of that past the lights that are on all night back home. Makes me think a lot about being back with the family. You never met them, so you don’t know much about it. Probably.
I’m watching you, diary.
So today's events, after leaving the podunk town back there, was I found a totally legal street race! Which makes me realize I’m saying ‘totally’ an awful lot lately. This time I think it was actually illegal. But don’t tell anyone that, they might take my superhero license away. I need that thing. It gets me a discount at some shops, though it’s really hard to show it when I’m dressed so much more normally. I mean, I can’t exactly sign my hero name on stuff when I’m buying work supplies. That’d be weird.
Anyways! The bike race! So there was a bunch of locals and some out of towners. Mostly guys, but there was this one dog girl. Full body leather outfit, wore her helmet the whole time. I only figured anything out since she had this curly curly tail behind her that waggled a lot before the race. I hope she didn’t notice me staring at her butt a bit before the race. And during it. I mean, she got her own look of mine after I passed her at the finish line, but some people think it’s rude to check them out during an exciting speed race thing. Prize was only a couple hundred, no racing for pinks today. At least, I think so.
Hey, some friendly looking guys are coming to talk to me. Must have seen me lounging on my beautiful bike and want to compliment me on it. Well, I’ll be back!
Entry 4: Diary and the Fox’s Entry
Dear Diary,
Those guys were super friendly! I mean, they said they just LOVED my bike and wanted to take her out for a ride. I mean, of course I said no. Can you imagine my insurance accepting other riders without my telling them ahead of time? Plus, one of them kept asking for the keys and wanted to take her. That one didn’t ask about a ride, really, but instead seemed to want to keep her.
That’s just stupid!
After a minute they just got kinda boring and repetitive, then they got drunk or angry or something. One of them tried to punch me and I was all like “Whoa, you don’t wanna do this!” and he went “Yes we do rawr!” so I punched him in the throat and he stopped talking. Then his buddies wanted to talk some, but they were also yelling something like “Ah, we’ll get your bike, we’re evil!” and I was all “No, you can’t beat me, I’m a hero of JUSTICE!” and then it kinda got confusing for a bit. I can’t exactly remember everything that happened, but I’m pretty sure one of the teeth fell into my bag. Which is kinda gross.
After wiping the blood off of my boots on a conveniently placed persons face, I decided it was probably time to find a better place to sleep for the night. They were even super nice and decided to pay for my hotel! Well, hotel is a strong word for this place. More of ‘closet type thing that sort of has a roof on top of it’, but it’s also got a bed! A bed I am sure is about as alive as you are, diary. See, wanna-be bikers give awful hotel recommendations.
I bet this place has a great continental breakfast, though!
Entry 5: The Entry Also Rises
Dear diary,
They didn’t have breakfast.
Entry 6: An Entry of Champions
Dear diary,
After that awful start to my day, I decided to just keep riding! Move into the rising sun, which meant I was going at least some degree of east. It’s fall now, so I think that means I’m also going a little south. I like to see if I can guess it before I use a compass, mostly since the compass seems to be my friend most of the time and always point at me. Thank god that one dragon lady gave me this way better phone that at least kinda works most of the time. The old ones just died anytime I got angry about something.
Still, this place was a lot easier. The guy was actually outside and everything. Didn’t even complain about signing his name! The town does remind me a bit more of home than the last one. Kind of the ‘middle of the road farming town’ where everyone knows absolutely everything everyone does. Nosey neighbors, fancy houses made back in the Stone Age, wallpaper I legitimately want to stab with a sharp thingie, the works. Kinda makes me wonder how things are back in my town these days. Been a long time since I’ve made it back that way.
Also, I keep wondering. I always say dear diary. Does that, like, do anything? I know I questioned how super intelligent you are, but how smart are you? If I say something else, will you know about it? Or are you just a framing device that helps me put my thoughts in a stream of consciousness kinda way? I learned those words in my night classes a few weeks ago, not that you’d know anything about that, book.
Entry 7: A Clash of Entries
Hey stupid book thing,
I was riding for a couple hours, stopped to get lunch. I had a thought.
You’re literally just a bunch of pieces of paper tied together with metal rings or whatever. How in the hell can you be smart-feeling-thinking or anything? You’re dead pieces of tree! See, I’m being a total jerk to you, diary, and I bet you can’t do anything about it. Jokes on you, me, for thinking that this was some sort of magical book. If it was so great, why would they be selling it for only ten dollars at an airport. It probably costs 5 dollars at a normal book store!
Well, I’ll just write more normally from now on. No need to be appeasing some not-real-evil-book that I carry around with me.
Entry 8: Revenge of the Diary
Dear Diary,
Okay, so I see how it is. I insult you, you eat literally seven pens. Seven pens that were totally new. I bought them before I left out this way two days ago! Most of them still had the little ball of plastic thingie on the tip that I always forget to remove before I start writing, but even then they still didn’t do anything! There’s only one explanation.
You actually are the person like and all knowing book, but you’re also rather petty. I mean, we’re friends, right? Please stop eating my pens, I want to actually finish this trip alive. You’re the one foe I cannot defeat, so I am sorry I called you stupid.
When we get back, I’ll buy you a box of cheap pens to eat. Then we can be frenemies, the ultimate expression of superheroism.
Entry 9: Diary road
Dear not evil diary,
I made it to the last town. Again, a small farming town. This is getting kinda weird. Still getting flashbacks to the old farm back home, wondering how everyone is doing. Been about five years since I left and totally disappeared from the Christmas card list. I bet they’re still worried about me. Not that I got time to think about that since I see some kind of villainy happening! I’ll be back, diary!
Entry 10: Return of the Fox
Dear Slightly Damaged Diary,
Okay, so there was some guy punching cars downtown. He, no joke, called himself Car Crasher. I’m starting to think these villains are kinda dumb. Stil, he seemed to have super strength or something, since he was punching cars. Like, really hard. They kept breaking. But that’s not the best part! He was boring, this was awesome.
These three superheroes appeared, some sort of grassroots little hero team. Two guys and a girl, all of whom had that hick air about them. The girl was some kind of bird and just.. Floated around? I think maybe she was trying to fly but didn’t exactly do anything with it. The guys were hilarious. One was a lion. He was dark brown but his mane was big, bushy, and golden. He looked like a sunflower and even called himself Sunflower Power! Oh god, I honestly wasn’t sure if I could help them out when he started throwing walking sunflowers at them. They pulled themselves out of the ground, walked over on their roots and went “Whap whap whap” against Car Whatever until he sorta knocked them away. I got pictures, that’s going on the internet when I get home.
The last guy came up and popped his own arm off. Big whoop, seen it before from some lizard people. But then he started hitting Grand Smash Auto with it over and over until he got backhanded away! About this time it got kinda sad, so I stepped in and went “I’m here!” and the guy went “Oh shit!” and then I shot him with lightning. He fell over, cops came, I delivered my package and got the hell out of there. Of course, you took a piece of glass to the cover (Sorry!) and I saw what was in these packages!
It’s porn. Like, really, really gay porn. I kinda wish I didn’t know now, but it’s actually not drugs. Probably.
Anyways, all this time in the sticks has really made me think about going home. I’m just not sure if the winds are ready to blow back that way, ya know? Besides, I’m sure people back in the city want me back. Or, well, they probably want Stormwave back.
Maybe I should make some friends? As me, not as a superhero? What do you think diary?
Entry 11: The Last Entry
Dear diary,
You didn’t answer! Anyways, I’m heading back today. I’ll be there in a day or two, until the wind decides to change again. You know how it always is. It’s been nice, just me and the paper. Well, and those people I punched. And that one villain and heroes. Did I mention they bought me lunch before I vanished? Probably forgot. They also asked for my private superhero phone number.
I gave them a McDonalds.
Well, thanks for coming with me. I’ll talk to you again later.
Zyla Garthori, Stormwave.
P.S. I’m totally locking you in something safe later.
Whew! That one was fun to write!
I'm sorry I've been gone. Took a vacation to another city, place went nuts, had too many problems, got busy. Here now! I'll try to post another tomorrow, but here's a repost from my old FA. I really hope you guys like the story!
Stormwave/Zyla is me, even if she's dressed as a civvie!
Art by the always glorious
fox-die from a long as hell time ago. Enjoy the ride, guys.
Category All / All
Species Fox (Other)
Size 880 x 1280px
File Size 178.4 kB
Listed in Folders
Comments