This comedic military tale is brought to you in part by the lovely
Artwork is done by

Story is done by


When things get a lil bit on the stanky side in BCT it would appear SFC Krause had found himself a new companion to make sure his privates kept their clothes clean. Unfortunately for him his underling was specifically chosen by the Company Major. How will this unfurl?


“Alright soldiers. It is currently…” A female voice, loud and proud spoke out to a company of soldiers in front of her. She alone adorned in fatigues, greens of all splotchy colors. “Sheppard” emblazoned on her jacket. Beside it was a black star on her chest. “It is currently 1400. Y’all have thirty minutes. Count it. Thirty. Minutes! To utilize the latrines, get your shit ready for your next block of information.” She stood stiff and tall looking at them.

“Company! Attention!” The long-haired German Shepherd barked.

The company all stood straight standing on her next command…

“Fall out!” She ordered the soldiers.

“Back in the fight ma’am!” The company echoed back to her valiantly.

“Never quit!” She returned, as they all gave a final response to her in agreement.

The woman had long black hair tied up in a bun, walking into her building.

“Those damn privates are about as smart as a chicken with it’s head cut off… If this is the state of the Army… Then our enemies are gonna have a lot of bullet catchers.” She rolled her eyes.

“Private! Private Pom!” The older shepherd barked. Almost in a flash of those words a loud “CRASH!” could be heard from the room just down the way.

“M-moving Ma’am!” He echoed as the clamor continued. Seconds later a short statured pomeranian came running out of what could only be perceived as a dimwitted Merle pomeranian. His boots squeaked as he came running out to her, standing tall. “Yes ma’am?” The small statured canine asked.

The shepherd sat down in her comfortable chair behind her desk. “I need you to send out these papers please to Sergeant First Class Krause. These are the medical forms of the new recruits and we need these filed properly.” She turned over to him with a stack of files almost half his size. Bringing her nose to the air.

“Private what is that smell?” She wrinkled her nose in repulsion. “Smells like… Cheetos and ass fucking.” She abhorred.

“T-that would be the soldier’s laundry ma’am. I-I was entrusted by Sergeant Krause to take care of the laundry situation while they’re down at the ranges.” Those bug-eyed orbs in his head looked down a little upsetted. “I-I’m sorry ma’am! I will make sure the stink is no longer on me! I promise!”

Major shook her head and smiled. “Eighty six that filing private. I’ve got this…” She grinned, pulling out her phone clicking away at it. All the while the private tried his best to peek over at what she was up to.

“Private what the fuck are you doin! Get on the ground and beat yo face!” She ordered.

“Ma’am?” He asked concerned.

“Private Pom! Did I stutter? Get in the front-leaning rest position and start pushin until I get tired.” She nodded her head.

“Y-yes ma’am” He said downtrodden. Crouching down and springing out his legs holding himself up by his toes and palms doing push-ups. Several minutes later a well dressed Burmese Mountain dog comes walking in, full fatigues just like the shepherd.

“You called for me ma’am?” He spoke respectfully. His hair a short cut, swooped to the right.

“Did you order my subordinate to wash those privates nasty ass OCPs?” She straight shot bluntly.

The canine looked to his officer and nodded his head. “Yes ma’am. There had been such a large amount of an overwhelming stench coming from the male bays we had to stem it somehow, so I sent him up to the three platoons with a block of instructions making sure they knew to write their initials in their clothes.” He nodded.

“Yes but he reeks! Like get a whiff of him it’s positively disgusting.” She degraded the private.

“M-ma’am…” He said weakly. He had been pushing for almost a straight sever minutes at this time.

“Position of attention. Move.” She said boredly.

“I gotta get out there and give them a block of instructions. When I return sergeant you and I have a bit of chatting to do.” Stepping out from the building and is greeted with a loud.

“Company attention! Good afternoon ma’am!” A male voice rattled.

The sergeant looked at her desk and over at the private. “This is all your fault private. Why the hell couldn’t you just wash your ass? Y’all stank somethin fierce.” He sneered.

“B-but drill sergeant. I I didn’t. I didn’t say anything.” Pom reasoned.

Sergeant Krause shook his head. Pulling out of his pocket a tiny little jar, seeing that the Major forgot something important… She left her patrol cap… He grinned quickly unscrewing the cap to the ointment and rubbed it into her hat with a quiet snicker.

“You keep yer damn mouth shut if y’all know what’s good fer you private.” He barked.

Pom looked at him, with those heterochromia eyes of his. “B-but drill sergeant.”

Moments later the major came back into the room sergeant Krause calling them to attention.

“Carry on…” She shook her head. “I forgot my cap…” She walked over flipping it up and placed it upon her head. The goop in the cap was cold on her scalp. Stopping what she was doing for a moment. “Private Pom…” She paused pulling off her cap. Seeing a barely visible gunk in her patrol cap.

“”Y-yes ma’am?” He said worriedly.

“Did you put weasel balm, in my patrol cap?” She asked gritting her teeth. “Because my scalp is going from cool and refreshed… To an intense burning sensation.” She continued.

“He must’ve done it when I was in the latrine ma’am.” Sergeant Krause spoke up.

Major Sheppard took her hat and whacked him in the head. “Is this the thanks I get for taking you under my wing!? You pull nonsense like this!?” She whapped him several times with the gunky hat.

All the while the other canine had to stifle a laugh.

“N-no ma’am it was the drill sergeant! I swear! Ah!” He held up his hands trying to stave off the ineffective hitting with the hat.

“Sergeant Krause… Is what Private Pom saying true?” She glared at him.

The Burmese mountain dog could feel a chill creep up his spine rubbing the back of his head. “H-hey, who’re you gonna believe? The private that follows you around like a lost pup? Or the sergeant you’ve been working with for the past six years?” He tried to act calm and collected.

“You know what? You’re right!” She whapped Private Pom once more before going over to the sergeant. Hitting him with the hat several times and then stuffed the hat on him. “Come to think of it! This is something you’ve told me you’d done to your battle buddies down range once! So apologize to Pom!” She commanded.

The sergeant gritted his teeth looking at the short statured private and gritted his teeth as his own head started to burn. “F-f…. Sorry kid. Didn’t mean to get you involved.” He said truthfully and apologetically.

“You’re lucky Pom. You’re lucky I like you.” Major Sheppard patted him on the head. “Keep your chin up and your head down. You’ll be goin places if you stick with me.” She smiled proudly.