There are more than a few stories that end this way....... bad dragon gets a taste of his own medicene by being swallowed by a would be victim who magically grows bigger than the bad dragon. No surprises here.

I never found any of them very convincing. For one thing, how many creatures who have just magically transformed, wouldn't be concerned that the magic could wear off with a giant dragon in their stomach?

And dragons most possess great magic just to fly. I would think a huge ancient dragon would have far more magic than any short-lived, puny mammal, and could thus defeat the spell.

It also seemed like a thinly disguised, "Geek imagines himself a mighty dragonslayer" kind of story. Do you think the only way to solve the problem is to "kill the monster"? If everyone thought this way, all the world's magnificent predators would now be extinct by now.

The story was very predictable - Heroic professional dragonslayer ends up slaying the dragon. How original. The only "twist" was the way it was slain, so really not much of a twist at all.

A real twist would be: story has all of the elements of a Geek imagines himslef a mighting dragonslayer cliche'...... but surprise.... he doesn't kill the dragon! No....... that would be too much to expect.

But unbelievable, geeky dragonslayer cliche' aside, the writing itself was good. You probably ought to tag this story as "soft vore" and "Dragon", and more people interested in this kind of thing will probably notice it.

Good luck with your writing. I'd read your other stories if I know in advance they aren't going to be more geeky "mighty dragonslayer" ones.

First off, thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.

I wish you could be a little less abrasive, and not use words such as "geeky" and "predictable". However, I will dutifully respond to your concerns.

You call this story a "thinly disguised" version of another archetype of story. I say, to ignore the "disguise" is to ignore the point. The variations I've made are what makes it unique.

The transformation should be taken as being symbolic, and can be interpreted in many ways. Example: For most of the tale, Kraz seems to have a snarky comment on everything. He IS a dragon himself -- even if bipedal -- but he doesn't want to admit it for reluctance of being associated with some dragons who laze about all day, and so he hides behind petty insults. When he takes the vial, he's finally admitting that dragons and initiative are not mutually exclusive.

I never use magic to instantly solve a problem, but I do use it for small things, and to aid in symbolism. Example: Kraz, at first, refused to even consider resorting to some "drug" randomly thrust at him. He only trusted in his weapons and his comrades. When those things were useless, his willingness to take the vial in the end was symbolic of his changed attitude. Or maybe you can see it some other way. I encourage it.

The source of the vial itself is explained in the prequel. For now, it should be seen as a mystery, an unknown, a "Who knows where that's been and what's in there?"

I hardly find "geek" and "mercenary" to be synonymous, and you must note that they aren't "professional dragonslayers" either. This type of job is a rarity for them, and would often go much differently, as they note several times.

They expected the dragon to be a feral, rabid, and unintelligent animal as a result of instinct and growing up purely wild. To answer your question: YES, killing a deadly, feral, instinctual animal is generally the only way to solve the problem. The reality was much worse. The dragon was evil. It knew it was harming people, and it taunted Kraz with this fact. Note that, although the black dragon was taunting Kraz throughout, all Kraz cared about in the end was defending the town from further fatalities.

I am dragonkin. I do not support the harming of dragons for glory or profit, nor do I endorse violence as a first option. However, I do admit that even intelligent dragons aren't immune to being beyond redemption... if they have zero interest in being redeemed. Such is the case here.

Tagging something as soft vore implies that it is fetish material. This is not a fetish story.

I wish that you would reconsider your view on this story. I cannot guarantee anything about my other stories, especially considering the way you've interpreted this one. I can only tell you that I spend no small amount of time on each and every one, and that what I write is to be pondered over -- not speed-read.

Sorry, but I guess we see this differently because I am not from the current generation of people fantasizing being the hero of "kill everything that moves" video games. I don't even play video games.

I like unexpected twists in the stories I read, instead of the same old dragonslayer cliches'.

A master like Tolkien can turn the dragonslayer cliche' on its ear, making the hero an overweight but saavy farmer, and have the, greedy, child and priest eating, apparently unredeemable dragon ending up loyally saving the hero (despite it meaning a long imprisonment), because despite his many faults, the dragon kept its word.

I see in your world, sentient creatures don't get trials, even when they are subdued and can be imprisoned and allowed to tell his side of the story to a jury. 'Mercenaries have the power of life and death over the 'fursons' they are hired to kill. Perhaps the 'bad' dragon had seen the 'courageous mercenaries' slaughter smaller, wild dragons as the story already states, and did indeed feel threatened by smaller sentient furries with their guns - especially the confirmed dragonkillers. I could hardly blame the "bad dragon"for trying to save his species from extinction. How 'truly evil' of him. Maybe he even killed those people just to draw out the slayers of baby dragons for retribution, which he at least paritally accomplished.

I am surprised there is even a 'cvilization' in your world. The scenario you paint suggest there wouldn't be. The mercenaries are really no better than the 'rogue' dragon, and perhaps your hero will now become the greater rogue dragon. He already believes he has the right to kill anything someone hires him to kill.

Of course, in a real world of intelligent dragons and smaller intelligent lifeforms as well, the dragons would obviously have had no choice but wipe out the smaller sentients before they developed the sophisticated weaponry that the smaller creatures use to at least kill their children, if not themselves. This is why virtually all fantasy worlds with dragonslayer cliches' are unfeasible and unrealistic.

Since the writing itself is quite good, I guess I just expected more than the familiar "dragonslayer" cliche' ending.

wow, the way the story was supposed to be represented flew past your head, didn't it? It wasn't about what the author thinks of dragons, it's about what the character thought of them. After being turned into one himself, he realized that what he once thought was wrong, because he himself didn't turn into what he thought they were; he was still himself.

while i do agree being a mercenary is not a moral choice of profession in most cases, there's nothing to indicate for or against them being as bad as the bad dragon, because there was no example of them heartlessly killing something, nor were they given a chance for the dragon to explain himself since he struck first. And if they think something is not capable of proper thought processes, why would they question dispatching it if it was killing civilian folk and was unable to be moved otherwise? It's all about social learning and what people teach other people in society; it's very hard to think a different way when all you have influencing you as you grow are the people around you and their ideals, ideas, and morals. plus your own personal experiences that may scar you in some way and make you biased. (speaking of "biased," KD has one of the descriptive things on the story as "biased narrator")

About the dragon being evil, you wouldn't think a human being slaughtering someone for fun would not be an evil person? This is what was being portrayed, him devouring each of them for fun and the pleasure of seeing the other characters fall in despair. You didn't quite get the ending, I'm guessing, and had already stamped this story as cliche' before you finished it (probably around the time the word "mercenary" was first mentioned. how cliche'!) and failed to realize the underlining messages because of that pre-rendered thought. But:

KD, maybe you should have shown some flashbacks or some other examples of how the dragon was evil so it would seem even less like self-defense in what he was doing, make more effort in making the evil one more detestable.

Anyways, generally when something that is not evil is getting hunted and such, they generally will ask why they are being treated as such. Also, this wasn't the best story to read of KD's first, because it can be misconstrued as cliche' if you haven't read his other stories and understand that that isn't his usual stories, nor his usual writing styles. For one, knowing him, he detests the "kill everything that moves" mindset as much as you do or more. This had a more modern flair to it, and the character is sarcastic in nature. (I'm not sure where the heck you get "geeky" from, the character is far from geeky..or maybe you meant the story itself because of the misinterpreted cliche'-ness?) Anyways, I recommend "A Walk in the Park." I really loved that one, and it's fairly unique in story! = ] And, erf, I'm not trying to attack ya, just trying to help you understand more about what happened and help you understand about what being biased does to a person, for the characters and the readers. *nose-bumps*

I guess you should work on getting trying to cover all the bases for inducing a correct thought of the characters to reduce this sort of response, KD, but it's hard to do that and not write a novel. But you can only go so far with that, right?

I liked it overall. The internal draconid/dragon conflict the main character had was a nice, unique touch. I sorta wish there was more banter between the 4 mercs, as I liked what was there of it, but that's sort of trivial. The baddie seemed to completetly fold just a little much, but I suppose with the way it ends up it wasn't so bad, given what the story emphasis at that point.

It is interesting that you mention these things. I would like to explain them a bit.

In my eyes, 80% of this story is about Kraz and his personal conflict with the dragon. I deliberately (especially during the revising about six months ago) cut out a lot of the stuff that got in the way of that main idea -- especially things that were "overly military". However, I kind of like Morrik, Kraz, and Jeraax, and they're going to be recurring characters of mine. You may like the next story I post, as it includes a lot more banter between Morrik and Kraz especially.

About the baddie folding a little much, as you say, I only tried to envision how something/someone, who's been very smugly picking off defenseless innocents and a team of aggressors one-by-one, would react on suddenly being cornered by a very large, angry, and vengeful foe.

I would always be interested in hearing more of your thoughtful comments or questions, should any more ever come to you.

It was very simple, but that's not always a bad thing. The ending was a bit anti-climactic. In spite of the tragedy early on, it still left me with the impression of "too easy." Don't get discouraged though. No one makes a masterwork their first time out. You created some great characters, which I believe is one of the hardest thing to do. I was sorry to see them go. I think you've got a future kid. Keep up the good work.

In spite of what the exchange between myself and Sirrush in this comment space might lead one to infer, I do appreciate your honest thoughts, sir.

I do freely admit that this story is imperfect, and I probably owe it to simple inexperience at the time. But I also think that I accomplished what I set out to achieve, which was to record Kraz's personal thoughts throughout every unusual event.

Morrik, Kraz,and Jeraax aren't going anywhere, either, and every story they're in will reveal a little more about them.

Hope to hear from you again.

oh yeah, i just woke up from napping and realized that the fact Kraz almost totally forgot about his friends. actually, that really bugs me..he even said it was unimportant..*head scritches*

They were mercenaries. They're in a better place now. The risk comes with the job.

it's not that they lost their lives, its that Kraz forgot about his friends that bothered me a bit, like they never existed or were important at all to him. Just a personal qualm i guess..i hate it when people forget their friends, mostly because i do frequently and i hate myself for it..>_>

You are, of course, free to interpret the concept as you will. I can tell you what the intent was, however.

It was this: Consider a more mundane situation where Kraz' war-buddies (especially Morrik and Jeraax) get killed under more mundane circumstances, and he's the sole survivor. What does he do next? It's hard to say. He has a distaste for other work. He'd have a rough time keeping up the mercenary gig alone. Either he's going to take a reckless path and get killed too, or he's going to live a long and unhappy life because he can't completely forget about his lost friends.

The third option is to start over anew, and give in to his new mind and instincts. Let Draconid-Kraz "die" with his friends, and allow Dragon-Kraz to keep fighting the good fight.

In private commentary, a literary-minded friend supposed the entire story was Kraz rushing to record everything that happened that day... before he forgot all of it. And I agree with that.

I have recently been thinking about this, and I have a better answer than the one I gave 4 months ago. This may or may not even address your concern. Nevertheless, my dragon side isn't going to be satisfied until I write it down here.

First, consider my original response. By this time, they've been mercenaries (and soldiers before that) for a really long time. It's safe to say that they've had enough close calls that they've come to terms with their mortality. They know it takes just one unlucky moment, and it's all over.

That's what they thought. They thought they'd be okay with it. Death is just an occupational hazard and an eventuality. It must be true. How else can Morrik face his imminent doom so calmly?

...Right?

How does Kraz react to his only friends in the world getting killed? He dances with the ubiquitous Stages of Grief. He throws his gun away: Shock. He looks for any crazy method to get his vengeance: Bargaining, Anger. That's not being okay with death. Maybe he was only fooling himself. Or maybe he expected to die alongside his friends. For all his sarcastic, biased exterior might imply, he cared about this.

My stories are intended to be openly interpreted. The happy ending is that draconid-Kraz is allowed to avenge and die with his friends, while a dragon -- who has zero memory of his past form's life -- lives on in his place. I said that already.

But there is another way to look at it. Suppose that draconid-Kraz never "died". What are the implications of this? He was forced to pay a very dear price in exchange for his power. You wrote that you were bothered that his friends were forgotten, like they never existed or were important.

Then, that's the tragedy of the situation, isn't it? They were more important than anything else. His grief was so atypical of his snarky behavior up to that point. Morrik and Jeraax truly were the only things in the world that he cared about. What will happen to Kraz later, now that he lost his self-made purpose for living, but doesn't realize it?

The interpretation doesn't have to be happy -- just something with a tie to reality. Some people seek physical pleasures. Others follow a spiritual path. But how terrible would it be... to have zero purpose in life?

I support both interpretations, yet I support neither as well. I intentionally add these small nuances and behaviors. Nothing is by accident. But the trick is in figuring out what the implications are and how these nuances connect with one another, and what it means to you, the reader. This is what I mean when I ask that people think about my stories carefully.

*nod nods* I guess it's just the idea of forgetting friends that bothers me, but I understand why it happened. He didn't forget them on purpose or anythig so really it's nothing to get upset about. and like you said he'd be better off that way.

I do wonder though, what he would think about himself now. He just suddenly existed for all he knows. No mother, no father..just..poof, there. It'd bother the crap outta me if i didn't know much about myself, much like how it bothers me i can't ge any images or memories of my past life. (though technically, that would be exactly the same in this case, hm? XD)

So what kind of purpose will he be feeling for himself now that he's a dragon? Protecting the town, maybe?

And I'm sorry i don't get a lot of the underlining messages..I'm not really that smart in that area, which is partially why i don't read often. For some reason i take what i read at face value, whereas i can understand what people are thinking in life quite easily with enough watching and listening.

I hope i can get to know your dragon side more, i'm rather curious about it. I hope you're well too. *nuzzles gently*