I tried to not think while drawing this. It's something I guess?

I've actually not been drawing at all for a long time. I feel like there's a certain expectation that I can't meet.

Whenever I even think about drawing I get extremely anxious and angry. I just can't get myself to draw, I think too much and there's absolutely no way anymore for me to meet my own expectations anymore.

When I practice I feel like I'm not improving. I don't know what I could do anymore.

I desire to draw, to improve yet I avoid it.

Even now I'm afraid that a lot of you are disappointed in me.