Resting comfortably before his fire place between the bare breasts of the girl he’d just met at Burger King, the Lampshade Weasel took a satisfied yawn and gave a firm little flick to the nipple that had captured his attention.
A moment later a sweeping shadow engulfed the pair as the butler arrived with a letter in hand. Rising up with a wiggly stretch the Weasel took the letter and slit it open with a clawed fingertip. He removed the contents and began to peruse.

“Dear Lampshade Weasel, so like last weekend I was visiting my grandma-ma up state, and as I was munching down on some of her brownies I got to staring at her Lazy Susan. You know, one of those food turny-things that old people use. Like doilies… serious, What the Fuck? Wait no, that’s not my question, don’t answer the doily question man… err… weasel.
“Anyway, as I’m sitting there staring into it all deeply, I notice it’s made up of strips of wood laid out… umm… long-wise. And each one has a different grain and a flow all it’s own and it starts looking like something I’ve seen before, but I can’t tell what. So I have another brownie and keep on lookin’. Then I notice one of the strips has this big knot in it, and I realize the Lazy Susan looks just like Jupiter! Which I saw on a field trip back in the eighth grade. We ate at the Mac D’s next door and I got to sit next to Suzie Spindlehopp, and man that was sweet!
“So, I realize that if it looks like Jupiter, then Jupiter’s gotta be made of wood, but is it like a gas wood or a liquid wood, or something I can’t even wrap my brain around? So that’s my question Mr Shade! What sorta wood is Jupiter?”

Tapping a claw to his lips the Weasel thinks about it for a moment, “What does your grandma-ma put in those brownies, and can I get some for the weekend?”