2018 was a year of growth and relationships for me. Learning more about myself and rekindling things that I thought were gone forever.

It was a year of repression, trying, failing, trying more. A year where I thought I kicked habits but ended them in much the same way that it began. I grew and learned so much about myself but it was all at the cost of so much labor.

As my first piece of 2019, I want this year to be about congruence. To allow myself to feel and express the way I am in that moment and to not dwell on things. Right now, I feel hurt and this is how I chose to express it. It hurts a lot, so much so that I wanted something to take it away. Normally one would do this with alcohol to numb the pain for awhile. It's what I did last year. This year it felt more like auto pilot, do what you need to do and fill off your check list and do it all again the next day. Processing these emotions is difficult. Auto-piloting is a step in the right direction, but it isn't complete and does not match what congruence is.