Finding strength in darkness.. somehow some way a day at a time.

..I have not been in a very good place as of late and decided to do some vent art.. it helped a little i guess.. Like Malliwix I suppose we both have a lot to deal with and handle it as best we can. Honestly never intended for that when i made her but it also makes her one of my most cherished.


I live with torment and pain every day...the weight of it sometimes overwhelming to take...
I ask is it worth it to keep suffering each day in and out?
I search for the strength time and time again not to end it all
others can't even begin to understand my pain...and feels so alone...

Then I am reminded that I live for something even if it is small...
and for the ones I know need me...

I find strength out of nowhere when I remember why I am here
and for who despite the tears that flow
I keep going so that the ones by my side who help havn't done so in vain..
I am strong and I have to keep being so even if it is hard.

..just a reminder when i can't stop crying those nights to remember I have things to live for.. even if its very small. Taking it day by day I fight to remember that so i don't fall into the darkness of oblivion. To choose Life even when it is rough

hand drawn by me NMH Neo 2019 ..maybe it will help motivate someone else going through hell too and if it does then it makes me happier to know that..and thank you for those who still stand by me even at my worst.. I couldn't keep going like this if you were not here.

I know the words are arent exact but ..this is the song that resonates with it with different words. despite what it is this one is soothing to me though most wouldn't understand. https://youtu.be/MYcjPXwG064 .. but i relate to it in the fact i fight the dark bs constantly.. and the mental struggle...