To Another Level

© 2019 by Walter Reimer


Thumbnail art by  rabbi-tom


“Another letter?” Kiran asked, glancing over the vir’s shoulder as he finished getting into his uniform. It was his first tour as a Duty Officer, and the newly-certified Yōzhim-Kestin was taking it seriously. The bridge crew roster had been shifted around so that experienced shlani would be at the various command stations, just in case he needed any assistance. “How’s she adjusting to life as a merchanter?”

Varan glanced up from the display. “She seems to be adjusting well. They reached Kormorant without any difficulty and offloaded their cargo. She’ll be on her way to the border soon, and maybe across it?”

“I’ve always been curious as to what we and the Terrans have in common. Obviously they’re not selling their food to us.”

“Of course,” Varan said with a smile. She picked up a piece of rupma’ and took a small bite, chewing thoughtfully and swallowing before adding, “There is one thing we have in common.”

“Aka?”

“Meredith says that their cargo includes one hundred thousand hectoliters of Markellan whiskey.”

Kiran’s feline eyes widened as his vertical pupils shrank to slits. The Terran colony world of Markell (named, incidentally, for the type of shuttle that first landed there) had looked around for something that it could trade both with its fellow Terrans and the Empire. The drink that resulted was a mix of synthesized hydrocarbons, dissolved in water and ethanol. Terrans liked it, with one wit describing it as capable of stripping the hull coating off a battleship.

Kashlani, no strangers to recreational intoxicants over their long history, also liked it, and the beverage had the distinction of being the first consumable commodity to be traded in bulk between the two civilizations.

“Aka, the next time I have some I’ll remember who brought it to me,” Kiran said. “Any progress on the game?”

Varan smiled. “Ulnt. The Frozen Kingdom had been a difficult series of obstacles.”

“I can’t believe that the designers wrote that into the game,” Kiran said. It was true; part of the set of solutions to get past the too-friendly and eventually bloodthirsty inhabitants involved getting the King and Queen to have sex. The game’s programming was fiendishly tricky in this regard, requiring knowledge of Terran relationships that Varan didn’t have access to.

Meredith’s help had been invaluable, and now the paladin and kobold characters had left the once-Frozen Kingdom (the rulers had pledged to send them a charm when their child was born) and were headed for the next portal.

“I saved the module as we got to the portal, Varan,” Meredith was saying, “because we’ll have to solve this together, and it’s going to be tricky.” When she saw it, Varan understood completely.

The gateway to the next game level looked the same as all the others, a shining door with the frame decorated in various runes and symbols. One set looked vaguely familiar. “Come, look at this,” the vir said, beckoning to the kam with her tail. Kiran looked, and looked again, his ears going back.

A huge creature was wrapped around the portal. It sported both male and female genitalia and more tentacles than a hentai beast. Venom dripped from its fangs and from several other appendages, leaving small smoking puddles on the ground. The overall intimidating effect was somewhat spoiled by a garishly colored hat perched on its head. A loud roar erupted from the creature’s fanged mouth, and the crown of tiny bells on its hat jingled as it shook its head ever so slightly.

“That’s . . . interesting,” Kiran remarked. He glanced at the horolog and straightened up. “I have to get to the command deck. Let me know what you’re able to figure out.” He left the room, the door shutting behind him, leaving Varan staring at the image.

There didn’t seem to be any clues, at least no obvious ones. The vir tipped her head to one side, and noted that the oddly familiar runes . . .

Of course. The ‘runes’ were Kashlanin glyphs, flipped upside down. She traced each one, and suddenly sat back, scratching her head. Finally she said the word aloud.

“’Laugh?’ What does that mean?”