[Amazing story + Commissioned by Armeddesertfox]

Freezeezy Peak

A simple flight to the top of a giant snowman should have been another simple Jiggy to add to their magic collection. Banjo and Kazooie were well into their adventure and faced plenty of simple ground foes with ease, but as was seeming to become the norm they were blindsided this time by a rogue airborne snowball that knocked Kazooie right in the rear, almost out of the sky. And suddenly more began connecting as snowman pelted them with cheat-like accuracy. A 3 hit combo to the wing, gut, and side of the head left Kazooie in a daze about 50 feet up, leading to a slow nosedive to the icy ground below. The snow cushioning the crash helped a tad, but it was still a hard enough landing for them to both be knocked out cold.

Struggling to move neither Banjo or Kazooie remember what happened or where they were. Their bodies felt tied to a stiff board with their knees bent behind it, but they could see only darkness and felt wrapped, almost like… wrapping paper? Only as the sound of ripping paper gave way to the harsh white lights of an igloo's interior did the duo realize where they were, their bodies were being used to hold two sleds together. They were greeted by the 3 geeky eyed polar bear children the met earlier Soggy, Groggy, and Moggy. When Banjo and Kazooie tried to object to this, the father Boggy essentially flashed them a death stare, pushing the kids out the door with their new toys as he resides himself to eggnog. It seems instead of any actual Christmas shopping he just collected some busted sleds from old glory racing days, using some rope and holiday ribbon to bind the bear and bird bodies to hold the rickety contraptions together.

The 3 polar bear siblings argued over which sled they each got to use, with the 2 boys settling for Banjo while their younger sister Soggy got Kazooie. With the boys climbing aboard, they shoved off and began sliding down the snowy slope. Banjo's poor unprotected belly slid across the snow, across sheets of ice, and even through frozen waters. His naked chest was being numbed at the blistering cold as the children raced him all throughout the icy wonderland. About the only part of his body with any feeling left were his sensitive paws as the kids gripped and pulled his toes constantly during the action. Each kid seemed to really grip and turn his feet during the race to control the sled, almost as if he were a race car and his bear feet were the steering wheel. While the constant touching and pulling of his toes certainly helped keep them warm it didn't stop him from laughing as he was mercilessly tickled the whole time by their tiny teasing hands.

Kazooie got mostly the same treatment as the bird's entire backside was unprotected from the cold ground, and her long cylindrical toes facing the sky were pulled, pinched, and prodded in every direction. Sometimes in the heat of the race Soggy would even ferociously rake her claws up and down the entire lengths of Kazooie's soles as fast as she could. No matter how much Kazooie's breegull screeches and learning disability based insults filled the air, her toes were scratched feverishly as the children yelled trying to speed up. She was not sure why these thick headed kids thought tickling their sleds made them go faster, but it seemed to be their secret technique they resorted to often.

Every passing minute the sun set more and more, yet these kids would still pull Banjo and Kazooie all the way to the top of the hill for another run down, again and again, despite all Kazooie's brigading and Banjo's begging for their freedom. He even offered to buy the kids some actual sleds but they seemingly were afraid of hurting their dads feelings by getting rid of their new gifts. Maybe he wasn't the nicest of parents. At least the kids had the courtesy to sit Banjo and Kazooie by the fireplace at night, offer them new socks, and even treat them to hot chocolate. Though tomorrow they planned on going to the store to get some decals and markers to decorate their news sleds, which neither Banjo or Kazooie were happy about… how was the shopkeeper going to react to that sight? If these laughing sleds were the only toys they were getting all year from their lazy, jobless, single father, these kids were at least going to make the most of it.