ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESSES

Hai guys! Golden Ex here~

Now obviously, someone is bombarding me with insults adding to my already declining life as of late, so guys, I will now touch into a subject most sensitive and most afflicting in the public, “Mental Illnesses”

Now to my most good readers, this will be a lengthy narrative, so if you have other things to do, feel free to do whatever you want. I do not obligued you to sit for a few good minutes of your precious life just to listen to my words. I do not dictate what you, my good reader, should do or must do. This is a discussion you could easily pass by from, and I will not judge you for it.

Now that is settle, time to talk about it, mental illnesses.

The human mind is the most complex part of the human body. It governs every action, thought, feeling, etc. we are capable of either voluntarily or involuntarily. Now with something intricate, nothing is perfect, and humanity is basically based upon flaws. Some of these flaws in the psyche are small, affecting close to little the basic human function accepted by the social norm. However, there are flaws too grievious as to affect a person's motor functions, emotions, etc. that they are deemed incapable of coping in the society. Hence, this separates normal people from the mentally-ill to ensure that both sides would not be any harm towards the other, a means to classify the population.

Sad to say, this is the so-called “norm”, where you will be outcast for being different, and this is, sadly, what I have went throughout my life.

Diagnosed with Autism, I spend most of my time apart from people aside from my family and my closest of friends from nursery to high school. Within those times are also the hardship of scrapping up the dirt in order to survive. We are lowly people, my family and me. We could only eat salt and rice during those harsh times. We even witness a neighbor of ours die of starvation and there is nothing we could do because even a rush to the hospital could not save the man doctors announce dead. My mom was forced to work at minimum wage and with the savings, my father finally bought a taxi. Me and my siblings could now afford education, but I am incapable of socializing back then, having my own little world with a friend and a canine companion, which was soon taken from me.

My friend was caught in a domestic violence case that ended with him dying because of a gunshot wound by the hands of his parents who went straight to jail. My dog died soon afterwards, killed by a sliding truck in the middle of the street. Soon, a fire broke out in my school while we were are class. Several died, including my classmates and our teacher during the events.

It was haunting... very tragic indeed... to see the demise ofseveral souls before your eyes and moreso others which behold infront of me... it is enough for me to develop “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder”, which had me in a spontatneous enactment of the scenes as I live my daily life, twitching and shouting from time to time on numerous occassions due to it all.

I was a broken boy, and even until then, poverty keeps kicking in even after I graduated high school. I was forced by my father to attend to the academy for the merchant marines, saying that it will be the best for all of us with a officer's pay enough to sate a whole town.

I graduated, but not before I have undergone the most horrendous of all the trainings no one could ever imagine, all the hardships a seaman has to go through just to finally graduate. That added to my already dire sanity, still barely scratching the surface with only a few trainings left that still requires funding. Hence, I established my commission status in order to afford it.

So... what am I on about? Well... have you heard me complain about these things before? Have I ever prompt up the words “I AM MENTALLY ILL!!!” In front of all of you? NO!!!!!

To all those who have problems like autism, PTSD, shellshock, and any other mental disorders, listen to me! WE ARE ALL BETTER THAN THIS!!!!!

When you are given a disability, you NEVER EVER use it as a GODDAMN SHIELD TO EXCUSE YOU FROM BEING A HUMAN BEING!!!!! NEVER EVER say to someone “I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS! HE IS A TERRIBLE PERSON!” because that is BULLSHIT!!!!!

When are are impaired, we NEVER EVER reason it for not doing what we have to and what we want to! WE ARE ALSO HUMAN! WE ARE ALSO DESERVING TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE! WE WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE ACCEPTED BY THIS WORLD AS WE ARE, HUMAN FUCKING BEINGS!!!!!

I HAVE AUTISM! I HAVE “PTSD”! SO WHAT!? I am trying my best to fit in, to be a normal person! Heck, I AM TRYING MY BEST TO BE A BETTER PERSON! NO ONE WILL STOP ME! NOTHING WILL! I WILL NOT LET MY DISABILITY BE MY BURDER! I WILL NOT MAKE REASONS TO GIVE UP! I WILL NOT SURRENDER! I WILL LIVE, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, AND I WILL BE AS I ENVISION MYSELF TO BE, A HUMAN BEING!!!!!

TO ALL MENTALLY DISABLED OUT THERE, stick these words into your head, because we “metally ill” try to be people in this society. I WILL NOT LET IT STOP ME. Will you?