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Another part of Kiron's character growth. While the original concept was of Kiron looking into the past, an idea that was beautifully captured by 
No_Swift , he caught the character's energy so extremely well, it was one of the images that inspired the story in "Ashes," in particular the battle scene. Tremendously thankful for the work on this one, and just how well it came out, and I expect it will continue to inspire new ideas XD
For those interested, The story, "Ashes" can be found in document for at this link!
And the artwork, and the FA posting of "Ashes" which contains the FA posting of the story can be found here!
Hope ya'll enjoy, this as this was one I was particularly pleased with!
V/R,
Cap Mag
No_Swift , he caught the character's energy so extremely well, it was one of the images that inspired the story in "Ashes," in particular the battle scene. Tremendously thankful for the work on this one, and just how well it came out, and I expect it will continue to inspire new ideas XDFor those interested, The story, "Ashes" can be found in document for at this link!
And the artwork, and the FA posting of "Ashes" which contains the FA posting of the story can be found here!
Hope ya'll enjoy, this as this was one I was particularly pleased with!
V/R,
Cap Mag
Category Artwork (Digital) / Still Life
Species Tiger
Size 1280 x 862px
File Size 196.1 kB
You are quite a storyteller. You handle suspense and emotion well in this work.
First proof your work to at least correct the spelling and grammar underlined by word.
Next, read it aloud. I know of no better tool for finding awkward writing. You can also use a text to voice program the point is to hear the work.
Short compact sentences have more effect on the reader. This is especially true when describing action.
You use narration and a character’s voice to good effect. Having your characters speak helps make them feel real and worth caring about.
First proof your work to at least correct the spelling and grammar underlined by word.
Next, read it aloud. I know of no better tool for finding awkward writing. You can also use a text to voice program the point is to hear the work.
Short compact sentences have more effect on the reader. This is especially true when describing action.
You use narration and a character’s voice to good effect. Having your characters speak helps make them feel real and worth caring about.
Thank you!
And yeah, this particular piece needs some more editing. It is one that just suffered from an abbreviated editing process, due to the writing competition followed by a month long TDY exercise I was assigned to just a few short days after I got back from. But I concur entirely on the "read out loud" part, as it is the best way to gauge whether or not the narrative flows. When I have a touch more time, I will give it the proper editing love it needs.
And thanks for the feedback, I appreciate both the critique (and note taken on the abbreviating on sentences during action portions), as well as the compliments, it certainly is appreciated :)
V/R,
Cap Mag.
And yeah, this particular piece needs some more editing. It is one that just suffered from an abbreviated editing process, due to the writing competition followed by a month long TDY exercise I was assigned to just a few short days after I got back from. But I concur entirely on the "read out loud" part, as it is the best way to gauge whether or not the narrative flows. When I have a touch more time, I will give it the proper editing love it needs.
And thanks for the feedback, I appreciate both the critique (and note taken on the abbreviating on sentences during action portions), as well as the compliments, it certainly is appreciated :)
V/R,
Cap Mag.
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